Scared
by Lon-Dubh
Summary: AU. What if Bella's past was different, and she had a secret she had never told anyone before? How would she handle moving to Forks and meeting Edward? Will she have a happily ever after ending, or will her troubled past come back to haunt her?
1. Chapter 1: Day One

**Note: This takes place just about where Twilight begins, when Bella is going to school in Forks for the first time.**

**Disclaimer: Lawyers are evil and bad, and I'm obligated to say "I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in it" so I never have to meet a pyscho lawyer trying to sue me.**

**Enjoy the story...**

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Bella's POV:

Everyone just thought I was a jumpy kid, kind of nervous and way too shy. They assumed that I had always been like that, it was just my personality. They never considered that there was a reason I was scared to be around too many people, particularly males. They didn't think there was anything amiss, and maybe they didn't even look for it. Because I wasn't the kind of person to turn "bad" or emo when something went wrong. I was the kind of person to slowly become insubstantial, to sink into the ground. _So there's a girl who's kind of way too quiet, big deal._

I stared out the window of my old room in Forks, in my father Charlie's house. I had arrived earlier that day; Charlie had picked me up at the airport and shown me the car he bought me. He wanted me to be happy, wanted me to forget how my mother died. But he didn't even know half the story.

My mother's husband, my step-father, Phil, had seemed like a nice guy. But after the third time he had screamed at me and even hit me; I lost all of my optimistic ideals that he really was a nice person. My mom never stopped believing he was okay though, even when he called her horrible things, even when he beat her.

I stayed away from the house most of the time. I didn't really have anywhere safe to go to; I didn't have any friends, so I went to the library. Some kids thought I was a weird bookworm, which was easier to accept than the fact I was _hiding_ in a _library_.  
I actually did grow to love books, though. When I was reading them, I could pretend that my private little hell some people might call my life didn't exist. It wasn't _too_ bad, overall. At least I was away from Phil.

I sighed and walked to the bathroom. Today was my first day at Forks High School. Yippee. I knew that it would likely be the same as my other school, and I would avoid everyone as much as possible.

I grimaced at my reflection in the mirror. I was beautiful, I knew that. I also hated it. Because that was part of what started causing trouble for me in the first place.

When I was a freshman, all of the boys noticed I was pretty, and most of them being the shallow perverts they were, asked me out. That was before mom had married Phil, before I had learned to be cautious, not to trust people. That was only three years ago. So much could change in three years.

I went out with a guy named Steven. He really did seem genuinely nice. That was before I learned that _seeming_ and _being_ are two very different things.

He took me out on a date. My mom was so happy for me, half the school envied me because Steven was just downright _hot_. They didn't know the truth about him. And I never told anyone.

The date seemed fine. Before Steven pulled me into an alley outside the movie theatre and raped me.

I never told anyone, not even my mom Renee. I felt dirty, ashamed. And I was scared. Scared of smiling guys who seemed nice. Scared of people in general. Phil coming along only made this worse. And then there was my mother's death.

She had been shopping at the store, and hadn't come back. Police had found her body a few days later. They told me she had been robbed and then beaten to death. And I was even more scared. Now I was scared of the world. I was a messed up person.

The only good thing that came out of my mother's death was getting away from Phil. I didn't like Forks that much, me and rain do not mix, but I would be away from Phil. Away from painful memories and the hustle and bustle of city life. I told myself that in this small town, maybe I could be safe. Maybe.

I turned from the reflection I hated and walked downstairs. Charlie's cruiser was gone, but he had left me a note lying on the kitchen table.

_Bells,_

_Left for work, make sure to have breakfast._

_Be home at six. _

_Have fun._

_Love, Charlie._

I sighed, stuffing the note into my pocket. I knew I wouldn't have fun, and I didn't really feel like eating. Pulling out a cereal bowl, I placed it in the sink, filling it partially with water. There, I faked my own breakfast.

I knew I should eat, I knew that I was almost too thin, and that boys found my slimness even more attractive. But I hadn't had much of an appetite since Renee's death.

I walked out to my red truck, careful not to trip, and the engine started with a loud roar. I found the school easily, and parked my car. No one was here yet, perfect. I didn't feel safe walking through crowds of strangers.

I took a deep breath, mentally bracing myself.

_You can do this. Don't be scared. This could be better than Phoenix. You can do this._

I hopped out of the car, heading into a building that looked like the main office. It was warm inside, and I timidly walked up to the lady with wildly frizzy hair sitting behind the desk.

"Um, I'm Isabella Swan," I told her uncertainly.

"Oh, of course dear, we've been expecting you," she replied smiling. She looked surprised at me, maybe it was because I was just new, or maybe it was because I was beautiful. Either way, I hated her for staring at me, and I once again silently cursed my appearance.

She then introduced herself as Ms. Cope, handing me my schedule and kindly smiling at me, telling me to have a good day. I waited silently, and forced a smile before I left. I honestly don't think I've had a good day for years.

It wasn't quite as bad as it could have been. A lot of people were staring at me, which made me feel intensely uncomfortable and kind of scared, but they acted fairly nice. I mostly tried to keep my distance, especially from the males, but one boy named Mike kept trailing me like a puppy or an obsessive stalker.

I was on edge, uncertain, and shy. But overall, it hadn't been a bad day so far. Until after lunch.  
I was sitting in the cafeteria, near a group of people that included Mike, a girl named Jessica, and a girl almost as shy and quiet as me named Angela. I wasn't talking, and I sensed that my silence was already making some of the people nervous, but I couldn't seem to bring myself to talk. I was anxious, with all the people surrounding me. I just needed to be alone.

I didn't notice _them_ at lunch. I was too preoccupied with convincing myself everything was alright. But I would notice soon enough.  
I walked to biology vaguely listening to Mike talking about something or another. When I arrived at the classroom, most of the people were already sitting down, and only one seat was open. The one next to_ him_.

He was unbelievably gorgeous, with untidy bronze hair and perfect skin even paler than my own. I silently cursed, realizing I couldn't have the good fortune of sitting next to girls in all of my classes.

I slowly made my way to the seat, careful not to trip, and sat down. Suddenly, the boy stiffened and turned to glare at me with intense onyx eyes. I exhaled sharply, scared out of my wits. I quickly dropped my gaze and quietly scooted as far away from him as I could. He did the same, his body rigid and his fists clenched. I had to hold onto the edge of the desk to keep my hands from visibly trembling.

_Breathe, breathe. It's okay. Calm down…_

He stayed like that the rest of class. It was the longest period I have ever had in my life. Finally it was over, and he jumped up, smoothly exiting the room before I was even out of my seat.

I quickly got up and began to walk towards gym, half scared out of my wits.  
I didn't notice Mike had caught up to me until I heard his voice and jumped in panic. "Hey, what did you do to Edward Cullen? He looked like he wanted to murder you." I shrugged slightly, still struggling to regain my composure. "Hey, are you all right Bella?" Mike asked, eyeing me strangely.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine," I lied quickly, walking towards gym.

Gym passed fairly quickly, mostly because of the fact that I didn't have to change out, and I quickly exited, intent on getting back to the safety of being home and alone.

There were way too many people, all swarming around me, staring at me. I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown right in front of everyone. I kept my head down, walking more quickly, telling myself to calm down.

I didn't notice _them_ walking in my same general direction until they began to pass me.

They were all just as gorgeous as Edward, all just as frigidly beautiful. As I walked past, the enormous one with dark hair quickly put a restraining hand on Edward's shoulder, as if warning him not to attack. Edward glared at me, and looked like he was fighting against the boy holding him. The tall blonde boy was staring at me extremely oddly, his forehead wrinkled in concentration as he looked at me.  
I was scared. Three beautiful, prefect boys standing in front of me. All of them staring at me, their expressions ranging from hate to confusion. I practically started hyperventilating; my muscles seemed to seize up.

_They won't attack you herer in the middle of a crowd. Calm down, it's okay._

I practically ran to my car, and almost broke down crying in relief.

_Day one. And already one boy thinks there's something wrong with you, and one boy hates your guts and wants to murder you. Perfect._

I knew that tomorrow was going to be a very long day.

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**Okay, so please tell me what you think. I swore to myself when I wrote my first fanfiction story that reviews did not matter to me; but of course that lofty attitude lasted until I got my third review and decided I was just as obsessed with knowing what people were thinking about my writing as any other person. (Sighs sadly thinking "If only I was perfect") Anyways, I really appreciate it when people review, but seeing as you will probably reading this really long Author's Note forever you'll never get the chance...**


	2. Chapter 2: To Resist

**2 updates in one day, I'm awaesome, aren't I? Also, thanks to everyone who reviewed.**

**Disclaimer: I don't feel like putting in my disclaimer with a funny twist, so I'll just plain out say it: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters in it.**

**Additional Note: In my story, I am pretending that Edward never went to Alaska. Yes, I know that in the book, he did. But for the purposes of this story, he didn't. Enjoy!**

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Edward's POV:

I stared at my ceiling, completely ignoring the 40's music playing in the background.

_What is it about that new girl, Bella, that is so damn appetizing? I have been working on my self-control for decades, and still may not have been able to resist her blood had Alice not told Jasper and Emmett what was going on, and to keep an eye on me. _

And now I was up here, isolating myself from my whole family, ashamed. It was close, far too close. I knew that I might have, no _would_ _have _attacked her if Alice hadn't seen what was going on and warned my siblings.

I was weak, a monster. How would I face going to school again? Seeing _her_ again? Would I be able to control myself?

Thoughts raced through my head as I stared into nothingness, brooding.

_I will be strong_. I finally managed to convince myself. _If I am prepared, now that I know what to expect, I can resist her._

But the worst part wasn't knowing I could have so very easily killed her. It was realizing, even though I had never set eyes on her before, even though I never even _talked_ to her, I felt something towards her. As if I wished to protect her.

I sighed and rose from my position, slowly walking down the hallway and then down the stairs. I couldn't hide in my room forever. Besides, forever for me really was _forever_.

Most of the rest of the family was sitting downstairs, with the exception of Rosalie. They glanced at me when I came down, and I couldn't help but pick up their thoughts. All of them contained sympathy, or in Emmett's case, _amusement_. None of them were condemning me, like I deserved to be.

Carlisle stood up, and looked directly at me.

"I do not think less of you Edward. You resisted her blood that first hour while you were in the classroom with her. That is admirable in itself. We all meet our match once in a while."

Emmett chuckled, smirking. "Yeah, but not all of us meet our matches and realize they're _girls_." His statement was quickly followed by a loud smack as Alice hit him. Hard.

"Watch it, Emmett." She snarled, her eyes narrowed. Emmett merely chortled, but held up his hands in defeat.

I sat down and tried to ignore everyone's thoughts.

"Will you go back to school tomorrow, Edward?" Esme asked after a while, her beautiful face concerned.

I nodded, feeling a wave of emotion. I would not let myself give in. My family mattered too much to me for that.

"There's something almost,_ odd_ about her though." Jasper suddenly said. "I was sensing her emotions, and it was as if, she was _afraid._ Before she even _saw_ Edward. During lunch, I was sensing her emotions all of the way across the room, without even trying. She's very sad, and almost constantly scared. It even started to annoy _me_, and I was more than fifty feet away, with a hundred emotions in between us."

I frowned slightly. _She was scared, what of?_

"That's, strange." Alice mused, her head tilted to the side. "And I didn't See anything about her either." She quickly added, seeing our curious faces.

Carlisle turned to me. "What about you, Edward? You knew what she was thinking."

I frowned as I remembered trying to pick up her thoughts. "I don't know. For some reason, I could not read her thoughts."

Everyone looked at me, clearly surprised. Something like this had never occurred before.

I got back up, and headed towards my room, thinking again.

_I will resist her_. I repeated to myself over and over. But what was truly astonishing was the fact that I wasn't so concentrated about cold-bloodedly murdering her anymore. I was concerned about _her. _

Even as I realized this, I also understood how wrong that was. I very nearly killed her for God's sake. I had no right to be digging into her past, to be trying to be closer to her. If anything, I should be distancing myself. But I knew I couldn't. The fact that Isabella Swan was sad and scared bothered me intensely, and I wanted to help her. Or at least understand her.

I wanted to see her again.

I smiled crookedly. I did not understand my fascination over this girl, this human.

Part of myself wanted to save her; and darker, more sinister part of myself longed to kill her.

_But which part,_ I wondered, _would win?_

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_**If any of you have ever tried it, you'll know that writing in Edward's point of veiw is very difficult, so please give me a break. I just had the urge to bring his feelings to light. I hope you're enjoying my story, please tell me what you think. **

**Until later,**

**_Seul Lune_**


	3. Chapter 3: Day Two

**Okay, first there are a few things I want to clear up:**

**For the purposes of this story, I am making Bella more beautiful than she was in Twilight, and also fully aware of the fact. For my purposes, Bella needs to hate that she is pretty, in a sense she puts the beginnings of how her life got messed up on that fact. Her self-hate about how she is will also come into play later in the story.**

**Disclaimer: Once again: I am not Stephenie Meyer, Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, therefore, I do not own Twilight.**

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Bella's POV:

I stared out my window in dismay, taking in the muted, blanketed look of when the ground is covered in snow.

_Just wonderful. I have to go back to a school, back to face _him_, and I get to do it in the slippery wet _snow

I sighed, and forced myself not to think about it as I got ready for school. This morning, I no longer had the vaguely optimistic outlook I had merely the day before. Instead, I was filled with an unreasonable dread.

How many times have I looked at myself, and realized I am spending my life in an almost constant state of terror? How many times have I tried to change, and ended up withdrawing further into myself, in a vain attempt to hide from the cold realities of the world? How many times have I told myself there is nothing to be afraid of? _And how many more times will I have to tell myself that before I actually believe that it is true?_

I drove slowly to school, fully realizing that an ice-coated road plus my rather questionable driving ability equaled sheer hazard. The school was more crowded than when I arrived the day before.

I sighed, once again mentally bracing myself to face the world.

My first few hours passed without any disastrous happenings, and that was a personal record for me any time snow was involved in _anything_. I should have realized then that it was too much to hope for to go a day without something unpleasant happening.

I was walking to lunch, Mike Newton beside me, babbling about a snowball fight. It was extremely hard to act like I was interested, while balancing on a slushy pathway, while have an unreasonable but familiar feeling of imminent danger.

Mike said something and paused, and I looked up, realizing that he was waiting for me to answer. What should I do? I didn't know how to deal with people when I was actually paying _attention _to them.

Uncertainly, I smiled nervously and nodded. Mike's face broke out into a huge grin, and I mentally relaxed. _One obstacle avoided._

Of course, I thought that too soon.

In my distraction, I had placed my foot directly on a thin sheet of ice. I felt the world tilt as I slipped, feeling the sensation of falling backwards. I had braced myself in a split second to hit the ground, after all, I was accustomed to falling, but something caught me.

I looked up to see Mike's arms around me, holding me tightly. His face broke out into a startled smile, but I was chilled.

_Asking him what he was doing._

_His arms on me._

_Asking him again._

_Yelling for him to stop._

_Yelling for help. _

_Someone, anyone???_

_Please, stop._

_His arms, pinning me against the rough concrete wall._

_My arms and head, bruised from impact._

_Struggling._

_I am too weak._

_His strong arms wrapped around me, not allowing me to escape._

_Pain._

_His smile. _

_Leering._

_Smug._

_My panic, cold terror._

_His strength._

_My weakness._

_Someone, anyone help please???_

_My echoes, coming back to me._

_I am cold I am weak._

_I am trapped._

_I am alone……_

I broke out into a cold sweat, horrible memories replayed with perfect detail in my mind, all as arms were wrapped around me.

I couldn't think, I was shaking. I was vaguely aware of someone asking me if I was all right. Vaguely aware of Mike's smile fading slightly. He pulled me closer. No, no stop!!!

"Stop!!!!" I screamed. I struggled away from him, shaking in terror, only hazily aware of my surroundings. "Don't touch me, leave me alone!!!"

Tears poured down me cheeks, and Mike and half the people surrounding me stared in open mouthed surprise. I couldn't meet any of there gazes. There were too many of them. All staring at me. I had to go, I needed to be alone.

I turned quickly and ran towards my car, the thought of tripping not even entering my confused thought process. Thunderstruck people parted to let me through, as if scared I had some kind of contagious disease.

And _them_. The Cullens. Their beautiful faces, their eyes, all staring at me. The large one and a blonde girl looked at me in utter astonishment. A small, black haired girl stared at me, her eyes narrowed slightly, the blonde boy beside her was rubbing his temples as if he had a headache. And _him._ Edward. Also looking at me, his expression unreadable.

All of their stares, fixed directly at me. I couldn't take it.

I opened the door of my car, and revved the engine, quickly pulling out of the parking lot.

I started speeding down the road, not wanting to think about anything, just wanting to run away from the world.

_Day Two: You had a breakdown in the middle of the school and then ditched; half the student body thinks your psychotic; you have no idea what the boy who wants to kill you is thinking about your episode; and you are having delusions about the past._

Just at this point, my analysis of yesterday, which wasn't exactly terrific, was beginning to look like a reminisce of a day spent on the beach.

At this rate, I'd be committing suicide at an assembly, onstage, by Friday.

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**Well there'sa tragic and depressing chapter for you. But how will Edward and the rest of the Cullens react, and how will they try to help Bella? Tell me what you think. I'd say "please", but that doesn't seem to have much of an effect on most people. Please, anyhow.**


	4. Chapter 4: What Does He Know?

**Okay, so just a few things before you begin reading this chapter.**

**#1. Last chapter, it ended by Bella saying at this rate blah, blah, blah, she'd commit suicide by Friday. I had a few more sentences, explaining that that was a cynical, sarcastic joke. Those sentences got cut off for some reason. So people: _calm down._ Bella isn't going to commit suicide. Yet.**

**#2 I made a mistake in chapter 1 by signing the note Charlie left for Bella as _Charlie_. I meant to put _Dad_, becuase Charlie wouldn't actually sign it like that. By the way, thank you for telling me what I did, WhiteTwitch.**

**Disclaimer: You are the stupidest person I have ever not met in my life if you think I own Twilight. I don't. Visit a mental institue. **

**Enjoy!!!**

**(I just said "visit a mental institute" and "enjoy" with an exclamation point, almost in the same sentence. Wow.)!!!**

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Bella's POV: 

Anger. Anger obscured by a haze of fear.

I was still trembling when I got back home, and after pulling the keys out of the ignition, I simply sat in the car, staring ahead blankly.

_What was I going to do with myself? Would I live my entire life like this? When would I heal?_

And what was I going to tell all of the other kids at school? That Mike holding me brought on a sudden gruesome flashback of when I was raped three years ago? I don't think so. I have never told anyone my secret. I have promised myself I never will.

I don't even understand why I won't tell, why I'll never tell. I just want to push it out of sight, hide it away; like I am trying to hide away from the world…

And Charlie. What would I tell Charlie about ditching school in the middle of the day, as well as my soap-opera star worthy exit?

I chewed my lip nervously, frantically trying to think up a plausible lie. That really sucked, because number one I'm horrible at lying, and number two I couldn't seem to get my brain to function.

Maybe, I was feeling sick, and decided I needed to go home. _Yeah, that would work if I hadn't stormed away while screaming at Mike not to touch me…_

I swallowed hard, as memories rose unbidden before my eyes. Scary, painful memories that I have tried to ignore for the past three years.

I was a pathetic person, and I knew it. I was too scared to face the world, to get over something that happened years ago. But I could never shake the horrible feeling something awful was just waiting to happen again, as soon as I believed that it wouldn't.

_Okay, maybe my arm got hurt or something, and he was touching it so it was painful, and then I just wanted to go home…._

That sounded pathetic, even in my head. But that was the cover story. At the moment, I didn't really care whether Charlie believed it or not.

I got out of the car and went into my room, picking out a random book and slipping Debussy into my CD player. I knew that I would regret not thinking up a better excuse later, but at the moment, I didn't particularly care.

I didn't go to sleep. Because I knew that I would have dreams, nightmares. Instead, I read Pride and Prejudice for a few hours, trying to relax but failing magnificently.

I started dinner after a while, wishing that cooking took more mental attention. But it didn't, and I found my mind wandering.

_What would the other kids think of me now?_ I didn't care about that question so much, because now maybe they would leave me alone.

_Why does Edward Cullen hate your guts?_ There was harder question, and I almost wondered why I cared so much. But I knew that it was probably okay. As long as I mostly stayed away from him, I would be fine. The people you had to worry about where the people who smiled, and seemed perfectly nice.

_Because most people who are truly bad put on a façade. They don't want the world to know who they really are, so they adapt to the world's image. People who blatantly showed that they hated you weren't usually a problem past giving you unpleasant glares._

Like Steven. Nice kid, mostly respectful. People love him. _Façade._

Or Phil. A perfect gentleman when it came to work, never giving his employers any cause to complain. _Façade._

I shuddered and pushed those thoughts aside. Being in Forks was inexplicably bringing back things had had forced myself not to think about in years. But being in Forks was miles better than being in Phoenix.

So, I had a few bad memories, no big deal. At least I wasn't still _living_ in those memories, those nightmares.

I put the food in the oven, and headed back up the stairs, very tempted to bang my head against a wall. But I knew from experience that doing that wouldn't actually make me feel any better.

I was half dozing when I heard Charlie's police cruiser pull into the driveway. I got up, and groggily rubbed my eyes, more than a little out of it.

"Bells?" I heard Charlie call as he closed the door.

"I'm here," I yelled back, walking down the hallway.

That was when I slipped for the second time that day. But this time it wasn't a three foot drop to the cement. This time is was a full fledged blunder off the top step on a flight of stairs.

The world tilted, and I closed my eyes. A few seconds later I heard a loud "thump!". I kept my eyes tightly shut, hearing an odd moaning noise. It took me a second to realize that I was the one who was making it.

"Bells!!!" I heard Charlie call frantically. I opened my eyes to see his face, close, much to close to my own. His eyes were worried, and his mouth was turned down into a frown.

"Hmmm," I managed to moan dazedly, fighting to bring Charlie's face back into focus.

"I'm fine," I finally managed to say in response to Charlie's anxious gaze. I tried to pull myself up onto my elbow, and collapsed with a surprised yelp of pain. _That hurt._

"What is it Bells?" Charlie immediately asked. I put my arm in front of my face, and stared with surprise as the bruises covering it. My wrist was bent into a position that it anatomically wasn't intended to be bent in, and my head hurt as if I had fallen on it. _Which I probably did._

"I should get you to the hospital Bells, your wrist looks like you might have broken it."

I tried to protest, because I hated hospitals almost more than any other place on earth, but Charlie started lifting me to my feet, and asking me if I could walk. In nodded and cradled my wrist to my chest, grimacing as I jostled it.

It was uncomfortable car ride, Charlie glancing at me agitatedly every few minutes.

I wasn't used to someone worrying about me. Certainly not a man. The last man in a position like Charlie was never took me to the hospital, he _gave_ me a reason to go to the hospital. It felt, _strange_, almost. Knowing that he cared. Knowing that he was concerned that I was hurt.

I was so busy thinking along these lines I hadn't realized when we arrived at the hospital. I grimaced at the antisepticky smelling interior, regretting that I hadn't protested. Because in truth, doctors scared me. That might sound completely childish to some, but I have always associated doctors with a beating by Phil, involving either me or Renee. And a lot of doctors were men. And going to the doctor's involved them _touching_ you. I hated that.

Eventually we went into a room and I sat down on a cushioned table, toying with the frays on my jeans nervously with my non-injured hand. Just _being _here made my skin crawl.

I heard voices outside the room, and I quickly straightened, looking at the door. It swung open, and I had to consciously stop my mouth from hanging open.

It was a doctor, but he was golden-haired and handsome, and almost too-young looking to be a medical school graduate. He smiled at me and Charlie warmly, and glanced at the clipboard he was holding.

"Isabella Swan?" He asked in a beautiful voice, and I merely nodded, not saying anything or trying to tell him to call me Bella. "I am Dr. Cullen." I looked at him in shock for a moment. _Cullen._ Surely he couldn't be _their_ father. "Will you please describe what happened?"

I was grateful that Charlie immediately began to talk, saving myself from giving him the explanation.

"Hmm," Dr. Cullen mused, stepping forward. "May I?" He asked looking pointedly at my arm. I tightly clenched the fingers on my uninjured hand. I hated it when people touched me. Especially males. Slowly I extended my arm, staring at the ground.

I braced myself, but was surprised as I felt his fingers brush gently over my wrist. They were ice cold, as if he had just been rinsing them in freezing water.

I turned my head away, hating the feeling of his fingers lightly probing my wrist. It didn't hurt. I just hated it. And I hated the fact that I was scared to have someone, a _doctor_ at that, even _touch_ me.

"Yes, I do not believe it is broken, merely sprained. You will need to have x-rays taken to be certain though." He withdrew his hand from mine, and I turned back, mentally sighing with relief.

Charlie walked out of the room, and I began do follow him, but Dr. Cullen suddenly started talking.

"Isabella, please come back anytime if you ever need something." I looked at him in surprise. He was regarding me intensely, a strange expression on his face. Was it concern? And was it just me, or was there a double meaning behind his words? He hadn't said come back if your arm is hurting, or if you injure yourself again. Just like he knew I might be alone, that I might need help.

I stared into his eyes, they were a beautiful golden butterscotch color, with suspicion. Was I only being paranoid, thinking he knew something? But how could he? I hadn't told the people I was closest to anything. He couldn't possibly have figured something out within the ten minutes that he had met me.

I returned his peculiar gaze for a second. I finally nodded mutely, and quickly left the room, questions raging through my head.

_What exactly did he know?_

And perhaps more importantly:

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**The story begins to speed up from here, I promise. Please reveiw and tell me what you think, if you saw mistakes, typos, or whatever other thing you feel inclined to bring to my attention. (Wow, I said "please") (Why do I keep saying "wow"?) (rhetorical question, do not answer that.)**


	5. Chapter 5: Hiding Something

_**I am going to insanely murder myself or someone else because part of my chapter keeps getting cut off and I hate it because it doesn't make sense and then a bunch of people ask me what I meant and I can't even do anything about it because it's fine when I put it on Document Manager but it loads onto the story funny and then some people just think I am an evil person for giving out really strange cliffhangers and I'm not meaning to even if I am an evil person. (**_Pauses for breath**) Okay. The last few lines of my last two chapters have been cut off for some reason. In the last chapter, it ended at: Or, perhaps more importantly: And then just freaking **_**stopped.**_** Well, I decided this morning the last few lines of that chapter that were originally there are just kind of stupid, but they were not vital to the story in any way, so don't kill me for not telling you what they are.**

**If anyone sees a line at the end of one of my chapters that does not make sense, please tell me so I know and I can explain. I have been trying to figure out why what is happening is happening and how to fix it, but have had no luck so far.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, that would mean I owned Edward, and if I owned Edward, I wouldn't be sharing him with anyone. But I don't. (Sobs hysterically) I am having a way overdose of emotions today; you might have been able to tell by my rant from above. Anyway:**

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Edward's POV: 

The more I knew about Bella Swan, the more I realized I did not know. And even as I wanted to find out everything about her, I knew that I was a sick monster and that it was wrong for me to be doing what I am doing. I am far too selfish though.

It was utterly annoying not to be able to read her thoughts, particularly at a time like this. I would have given almost anything to know what she was thinking during her little episode at school.

Bella was a complete puzzle, a bafflement. I did not understand her, or her strange actions. _Why did she react to Mike like that when he caught her? Why is she always so nervous? Was she always like this, or did something cause her to be this way?_

I wanted to know, I wanted to help her. Part of myself that told me I was a monster, no one to help someone as beautiful as Bella. But I ignored that part. And what scared me was how easy it was to do that.

* * *

Bella's POV:

I told myself to be ready for everyone's stares. And I thought I was, but when I arrived at school, I immediately understood that I wasn't. The only thing that kept me from once again ditching was the fact that doing that would make everyone stare even worse.

I grimaced as pain lanced through my wrist. It wasn't broken, but that didn't mean it wasn't painful, and I had wrapped it tightly in a bandage before school.

I mentally groaned as I saw Mike walking towards me, staring at me (what a surprise) with an odd expression on his cute face. I couldn't be annoyed with him, he had caught me yesterday: he had been trying to help. And I had thrown that back in his face.

I started talking before he could ask me, just to save myself the trouble. "I'm uh- sorry about what happened yesterday. I hurt my arm when you caught me, and you holding it was hurting more. Um, thanks for catching me though. I, uh- appreciate it." For how long I had rehearsed that speech last night, it came out disappointingly pitiful and unbelievable.

Mike apparently, was one to believe unbelievable things though, and immediately lapped up my lie. "Oh gosh Bella, I didn't mean to hurt you. Are you okay?" I forced a cheerful smile onto my face and held up my injured wrist, showing him I was fine.

He started to say something else, but I quickly cut him off, wanting to get away from him. "Um, the bell is about to ring, I'll be late for first period." Not waiting for him to reply, I quickly turned and walked to my first class, mentally relaxing as I realized Mike hadn't followed me. I almost felt guilty about what I did, but I couldn't seem to help myself. I didn't want to be alone with him.

My first periods passed slowly, but I wished they hadn't because I was dreading lunch. All those people. All in one place. Anyone who had not actually seen my episode yesterday would know about it by now. All of _Forks_ likely knew about it. _Stupid small towns._

It was almost a good thing that I had hurt myself though, because it explained my ranting and it also distracted Charlie from asking me why I ditched school.

I didn't want to think about the hospital, and Dr. Cullen. He knew something, and I was chilled at the thought. Of course, he may not _really_ have been able discern anything, he may only have had suspicions, but I was worried whether he would tell anyone.

_What did he know?_

_And perhaps more importantly:_

_How did he find out?_

Even as I was worried about that, I couldn't help but be curious about him and his family. He was far too young to have teenage children; he hardly looked old enough to be a doctor. But something about the fact of how he and his children all were so different, yet all so alike, all so perfect, made me nervous.

If I was anxious about lunch, it was nothing compared to how I felt when I was walking to biology; fighting of the sensation that I was going to be sick while Mike talked in the background.

I sighed slightly in relief when I walked into the warm classroom. He wasn't there yet. I sat down and carefully arranged my supplies and notes, keeping everything safely on my side of the table.

I shook my dark hair over my shoulder, obscuring my face. My hands under the table trembled nervously. I had a hard enough time interacting with people who seemed to like me. How would I handle sitting here, beside a person who made an infamous serial killer look like a benign school teacher? Maybe that was an exaggeration. But at the moment, I didn't care to correct myself.

I heard him walk to the table and sit down, but I carefully stared at my notes and focused on stopping myself from getting up and leaving the room, very, very quickly.

"Hello." His voice was beautifully musical, and it took me a moment to process the fact that he was talking to me, in a friendly, _I wouldn't kill you_, mannerism.

I turned slightly to look at him, and paused for a moment. His eyes were different today, a beautiful golden color. "Oh, um- hi." I clenched my uninjured hand into a fist, nervously wondering what he would say next.

"How do you like Forks?" He pressed, his tone curious.

"Well, its okay, I suppose. It's a lot different than Phoenix." My own mouth almost dropped in surprise. _Me_, the girl who had no social life whatsoever and couldn't hold a coherent conversation with anyone, was talking to a beautiful godlike boy, who until a few minutes ago I believed was out for my blood.

"I'm sure. May I enquire as to why you moved?" He asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

_Oh. That_. Another painful memory. Another thing to frighten me, in a world that seemed bound and determined to scare me to death. I paused as horrible images, memories flashed though my head, but I managed to get control of myself.

"Well," I started, talking shakily and quietly now. "Renee, my mother, she well- she died." I finished softly, looking away from his beautiful eyes that were suddenly full of sympathy.

"I'm sorry." And he actually sounded like he meant it. "I shouldn't have asked."

"No-that's okay. You're not the first person to ask me something like that." I stopped myself suddenly, surprised to realize that I might have continued talking.

There was an uncomfortable silence for a few moments, and I vaguely processed the fact that class was starting.

"Losing a loved one is always hard. My parents died when I was eight. I've been living with Carlisle and Esme ever since." I was surprised that he had told me that. He didn't seem the type to freely give out personal information.

_Carlisle must me Dr. Cullen's first name. Well, that explains how he can be so young. _

"Oh. Are all of your siblings adopted?" I ventured timidly, still surprised at myself how easy I found it to talk to this beautiful stranger.

"Yes. Rosalie and Jasper are twins, Alice and Emmett and I came from the same family." Edward's gaze was abruptly distant, as if he was thinking about something from a very long time ago. I was still processing the fact that I was actually talking with someone, and we weren't just talking about the weather.

"So, are you going to stay in Forks for very long, you don't have any family in Phoenix?"

I suddenly felt chilled, thinking of Phil. "A step-father. But he's…" I abruptly cut myself off. I didn't want to tell him that, I didn't want to have myself even _think_ about that. I made myself continue, "Charlie is my only blood-relative left. Both of my parents came from small families, I don't have any aunts or uncles, and my grandparents are dead."

Edward looked at me, a peculiar blend of emotions in his eyes. "You don't like your step-father, do you?" I almost gasped out loud_. How had he concluded that much? How could I have let him? Why did all the Cullens have to be so perceptive?_

I realized Edward was waiting for an answer. I opened my mouth to say "_No Phil is fine…"_ but nothing came out. I pressed my lips in a tight line, suddenly feeling a strong urge to cry. "No, I don't." I finally replied in a small voice, looking away and hoping that he hadn't seen my distress.

I furtively brushed the hot tears away, cursing myself for not being able to control my emotions. Abruptly, I was afraid to talk to him. _Why was I talking to him anyhow? Hadn't I learned my lesson that silence it best?_

"I'm… sorry I asked," I heard him say behind the curtain of my hair. And he actually sounded like he meant it.

I nodded and sat in silence, and realized after a while that class was almost over.

I started packing up my things, not looking at him.

"I really am sorry." I heard him say softly. I turned to look at him. _Why did he care if he had hurt my feelings? No one really has before._

"I know," I said just as quietly, and forced a slight smile. He didn't look convinced, but he smiled back, and I was momentarily dazed.

_Why did he even care about me? I thought he wanted to rip me into little pieces and then burn the shreds._

As I slowly drove home, I glanced at the silver Volvo in the parking lot and saw him scrutinizing me intensely. I suddenly felt scared. _Why had he taken an interest in me? Me of all people? And if I allow myself to know him, will he find out about my secret? _I couldn't let him do that. Then he would hate me, or think I was messed up. Even if he didn't, it might change the way he treated me, and he would surely tell someone…

_Why was he watching me?_

Thinking about it late that night, staring at my dark ceiling, I realized that I wasn't the only one in this town that was hiding something.

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_**Jusqu'à plus tard**_

_**Seul Lune**_


	6. Chapter 6: To the Hospital

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed!**

**Okay, I made this chapter really long. I am going to be out of town June 9-20****th****, so I won't be able to update in a while. I hope you enjoy this chapter though, it's my personal favorite so far.**

**Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. Twilight.**

Bella's POV:

Night was pure torture, I couldn't seem to sleep. The only saving grace was the fact that it happened to be Saturday, and I didn't actually have anything to do in the morning. Charlie was gone by the time I forced myself to get up and eat breakfast, still trying to see through a hazy cloud resulting from way too little sleep.

Unfortunately, I was alone, which meant plenty of silent time to think. Of the years, I have been caught in a painful limbo. I don't want to be around people, but be alone made me reflect on things I did not want to think about.

There was something…different about Edward Cullen and his family. Something strange, almost inhuman. And even understanding that, I realized for some inexplicable reason I felt more comfortable around them than I did anyone else. Something was definitely, non-subjectively wrong with me.

Sighing, I allowed myself to stare off into space. I was jolted out of my reverie by the harsh ringing of the phone.

I eyed it dubiously. _Who could be calling? It wasn't Charlie, and no one calls for me…_ Reluctantly I picked up the phone, answering it as normally as I could manage.

"Umm, hello?"

"Oh, is this Bella?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry, Bella, its Angela," I heard her say. I remembered the quiet girl from the lunch room. I had liked her.

"I just had a question about homework, about the Shakespearean essay, actually."

"Okay, what is it?" I asked relieved. I found it easier to talk with people as long as I didn't actually see them.

She asked me her question, and I answered her, she thanked me politely and said she'd see me at school. After she had hung up, I stared at the phone for a long time.

I had just had a perfectly normal conversation with a girl who acted like she wanted to be my friend, who actually seemed to be human. Maybe I was snapping out of it a little bit. Maybe, things would be different here…

I smiled, the first genuine smile I had used in a long time. Things weren't so bad…

The rest of the day was quiet, and I was amazed that even one little phone call could put me in such a euphoric mood.

_I got a phone call. I got a phone call…_

After a while I forced myself to stop thinking about it. I was going from depressingly melancholy to hyperactive within the space of a few hours. Maybe I was bipolar or something.

And then one of my worst nightmares came true.

* * *

It was late evening by the time Charlie came back from his fishing trip. I was still in a good mood, and opened the door for him before he could use the key.

Then I stopped dead.

Charlie wasn't alone.

Standing next to him, smiling expansively, was _Phil._

"Hi Bells," Charlie said, looking pleased. "Your step-father called me just as I was leaving, saying he was flying in. Wanted to see you, make sure you were all right. He wanted it to be a surprise too." I looked at him aghast.

He not only had Charlie let a horrible child-abuser into our _house_, he had gone and _picked him up from the airport. _Of course, he didn't know the truth about Phil…

I was so close to hyperventilating, to dead out fainting. I was scared, petrified. _This was horrible, so horrible, I couldn't handle it…_

Then it occurred to me that Phil wouldn't dare lay a hand on me while Charlie was here. As long as Charlie was here, I was safe…

I forced myself to smile, even though I felt like breaking down and crying. _This couldn't be happening!_

That was one of the longest nights of my life. Sitting there, having dinner, across from a cruel monster. Smiling at him, pretending I was pleased. It made me sick.

But what Charlie said made me even more terrified.

"I figure I'll go fishing tomorrow, let you and Phil catch up, have some time together."

I stared at him in horror and shock. _No!_ I wanted to scream. _No, don't leave. Please don't, please…_

I was going to be sick, I knew it. Charlie stared at me in concern.

"You all right Bells? You look kind of pale. And you haven't eaten a thing…"

I forced myself to talk, to lie. "Umm, actually, I'm not feeling quite so well. I think I'll just umm- go upstairs now." Fortunately, my fear made my little speech sound convincing.

I had to force myself not to dash up the stairs and slam the door, not to just bolt out of the house and start driving somewhere… Anywhere.

I shut the door softly and locked it behind me. Quietly, I pushed the desk up against it, barricading the door.

_What was I going to do? I couldn't face Phil alone. A whole day, with him, with no one around…_

My breathing kicked up into hyperventilation, and I lay back on the bed, trying unsuccessfully to calm myself.

I had no where to go, no one to run to. I was alone.

I couldn't' sleep at all that night, almost letting fear completely drown me.

A few hours before dawn, I finally told myself to get control. I couldn't just lay here in the dark, waiting for what would come to me. I had to do something.

The easiest solution would just be to disappear for the day. But how would I explain it to Charlie, keep from arousing suspicion? Phil could just call Charlie and tell him I had disappeared… More importantly, where would I go?

"_Isabella, please come back anytime if you ever need something." _

Dr. Cullen's words came back to me abruptly.

Going to the hospital would arouse suspicion, least of from Dr. Cullen himself. But it was that or stay in the house, just waiting for Phil to do something to me…

Smiling grimly, I decided it was time to take a trip to the emergency room.

* * *

The sun was just rising when I got out of bed, changing into clean clothes and quietly removing the desk from in front of my door. Quickly, I scribbled a note to Charlie on a piece of paper.

_Dad,_

_I'm gone for the day at Port Angeles. I now I said I'd spend time with Phil, but I'm sure we can catch up later. I have a lot of shopping to do. _

_Don't worry, I'll see you tonight._

_Bella_

I waited impatiently for Charlie to leave, praying that Phil wasn't already awake. Finally, Charlie pulled out of the driveway, driving down the road towards La Push.

Calming my breathing, I snatched to note and slowly walked down the hallway, going for silence rather than speed. I couldn't afford to trip.

I edged my way down the stairs, silently begging the floorboards not to squeak.

_I was almost there. _

Slowly, I went into the kitchen, carefully placing my note on the table. A loud noise behind me almost caused me to have a heart attack.

I whipped around, expecting to see Phil standing there, leering at me.

And I did see Phil. Fortunately, he was asleep on the couch.

Holding my breath, I walked to the front door, slipping on my shoes. I opened the door and spent a good three minutes closing it painfully slowly, so as not to wake Phil.

Finally. I was outside.

I frowned as I contemplated my truck. I was loud, far too loud, I was certain it would wake Phil up.

_But what would he be able to do?_ I reasoned with myself_. He didn't bring a car himself, even if he did, he has no idea where I'm going to… _

Finally, I hopped into the truck, swiftly turning on the car. I winced at the thunderous volume, but forced myself not to pause. I pulled out as fast as I safely could, and started speeding down the semi-dark road as fast as my worn out truck would go.

Hardly anyone was at the hospital as I pulled into the parking lot. I felt a wave of relief as I recognized Carlisle's nice car parked outside.

I quickly turned off the truck, and simply sat there for a moment. _Was I sure I wanted to do this?_ Dr. Cullen would want a reason why I had showed up at the hospital, unaccompanied, at six o'clock in the morning, uninjured and not sick.

_I could just drive away, spend the day alone, and come back later. No one would know any different…_

But for some reason, I rejected that idea.

Chewing on my lip, I walked across the parking lot and entered the hospital. No one was at the front desk at the moment, and I sat down on one of the chairs in the waiting room.

I was starting to panic again, just sitting there. I almost got up and left three times, once I was halfway to the door before I returned to my seat.

I had made up my mind to leave (again), when I heard footsteps approaching on the tiled floor. I looked down quickly, clenching my hands on the sides of the chair.

"Bella! What brings you here? Are you unwell?" I looked up to see Carlisle standing in front of me, his expression concerned.

"No. I-" I stopped, looking up at his concerned face and then away. Suddenly my plan seemed stupid, and I wanted nothing more than to leave.

"I was wondering if I could just, um- stay here for today?" The words left my mouth in a rush, and I looked away from him, certain he would bombard me with questions, or simply refuse.

I realized how I must look to him. Sitting alone in a hospital waiting chair, in wrinkled clothes, my face pale, deep bruises under my eyes.

I chanced a glance at him. He looked even more concerned than before, but he quickly composed his expression. I winced slightly as he opened his mouth to talk, certain that he would ask me what this was about.

But he didn't.

"Of course Bella. You may stay in my office, if you wish."

I looked at him in surprise. No refusal. No questions. Just calm acceptance.

Mutely, I nodded. He smiled reassuringly at me, and turned, walking down the hallway. I followed him, and he soon stopped before a door, and fished out a ring of keys from his pocket, smoothly unlocking the door.

Inside was small, but comfortable. There was a desk and a chair. One wall was taken up by filing cabinets, the other by a bookcase.

"Please, make yourself at home Bella. Pick out a book, I don't mind. I'll be back to check on you later." I looked at him, and he smiled at me, but his eyes were worried, and almost sympathetic.

For a second time I wondered just what he knew, and how he knew it.

I managed a weak smile and he nodded, exiting the room and softly closing the door behind him.

I stared at the bookcase for a moment, and picked out a book, slumping into the chair,

That had gone better than I would have possibly hoped. He didn't say no. He didn't ask questions. He was… _accepting_. Understanding.

I was surprised at how fast the time passed. In his office, I felt safe. Calm. I heard activity outside, but I ignored it.

I hadn't realized I had dozed off when I heard yelling outside the door.

"Where is Bella?" The voice yelled. I sank to the floor, huddling in a corner. _Phil_.

"And who are you, to want to find her?" I recognized Dr. Cullen's voice at once.

"I'm her step-father. Dammit! She's here, and I know it!"

_He's going to tell where I am. Why wouldn't he? Oh, no. Please no…_

"Carlisle." A third smooth voice said sharply. It was a man's. Oh, no. I knew that musical tone. It was _Edward_.

I heard Edward say something to Carlisle, too fast and low for me to make out the words.

"Where is she, I asked!" I heard Phil shout again.

"You are apparently under a misapprehension, sir. She is not here." It was Carlisle, but I had never heard his voice sound so cold.

"She's here, dammit! I saw her damn car out front!"

"We have already told you she is not here. I am a doctor. I am not in the business of harboring runaway teens, for whatever reason."

"Liar!" Phil spat. _I could just imagine how he would look right now. Eyes practically bulging out of his head, mouth curved downwards into and angry sneer…_

Someone banged their hand against the door in frustration, it was Phil, I was sure…

I was scared, so sacred. Having flashbacks of him beating my mother, beating me…

My hands were trembling, and my breath came in short, uneven gasps. I curled myself more tightly into the corner, pulling my knees up to my chest.

"Sir, this is a hospital. If you cannot contain yourself, I will have to ask you to leave. Actually, I must ask you to leave anyhow. This area is strictly off-limits to non staff members."

"You idiot; caring after some girl. A pile of shit, that's what she is!"

Was it just me, or did I here a soft growl? I was so menacing it gave me goose bumps. And I knew it wasn't Phil who was doing it…

"Sir, I will ask the police to remove you if you do not exit this area, and stop harassing people, in one minute." His voice was colder than I have ever heard anyone's be. It was a miracle that Phil hadn't been frozen solid into an ice statue.

Phil banged angrily on the door again, and I heard him turn and walk away, muttering profanities under his breath.

Then there was silence.

The door slowly cracked open, and I could see both Carlisle and Edward staring at me, there faces angry yet concerned.

They both paused in the doorway as they saw me. Curled into a corner on the ground, trembling violently.

I didn't care if anyone would see, I didn't care if they didn't care.

I buried my face in my knees, and started crying.

Sobbing.

I felt cold hands gently touch my shoulder, and I didn't shy away from them.

I just cried, as if my tears could wash away all of my pain, all of my sorrows.

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**This was my favorite chapter so far, which might sound kind of strange, seeing how it involves an angry, child abusing monster returning and throwing a fit in the middle of a hospital. But still. Please REVIEW! I worked super hard on this chapter because I knew I wouldn't be able to update for a while, I'll be on a cruise in the Caribbean. Anyways,**

**Je serai sous les tropiques !**

**Vous voir plus tard,**

_**Seul Lune**_


	7. Chapter 7: Admissions

**I'm back! (Obviously) And a whole day sooner than I said I would be! Actually, I got back the 18****th****, but I didn't get a chance to post another chapter then.**

**So I come back, happy from vacation, to check my statistics and realize **_**62**_** people reviewed for ONE chapter! I love you guys so much! I'm so happy! (Like you couldn't already tell!) Thank you SO much!**

**I like this chapter fairly well, I put some foreshadowing in it, but it's kind of subtle and I don't know if everyone will notice it. But anyways, read and ENJOY!!!**

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Bella's POV:

Crying.

Crying on the floor, in a hospital.

Crying on the floor, in a hospital, while two people I hardly knew tried to calm me.

Next, the sky would be falling.

After a few minutes, my sobs subsided. I couldn't believe how good weeping had made me feel. How light. Almost _clean. _A few minutes later, I summoned up the courage to look up from the safety of my knees. Both Carlisle and Edward were gazing at me, concern and sympathy written all over their flawless features.

"Are you all right, Bella?" Carlisle looked at me, his warm eyes filled with anxiety.

_No. Not even close. Not even close to close._ "Yes. I'm fine." I dropped my gaze to the floor. There was a moment's silence. "Thank you." I added, whispering.

There was silence for another moment. But it wasn't a strained uncomfortable quiet. It was just…_peaceful._

"Bella, you don't have to answer, but I would like to ask. What's wrong?"

I kept staring at the ground, thoughts racing through my mind. _Should I tell them? Should I trust them? If I did tell them, could I ask them to keep quiet about it? _

I glanced at Carlisle's earnestly concerned face. He _cared_. This time, I didn't even ask myself why he cared. All I was concerned about was that he was concerned.

_I could tell them._

_Or I could go back home and face Phil. Live in silent unhappiness again. Avoid these people who actually wanted to help me. Be miserable. _

Why was this a hard decision, once I actually looked at my options?

_As long as I didn't tell them about everything, about Steven. They would hate me then. They would think I was dirty…But I could tell them about Phil._

I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes.

"My mother, Renee, met Phil about three years ago. He seemed like a nice guy, he had a good job; lots of people liked him. Renee fell in love with him, and they got married. A few days after the wedding was the first time." My mouth twisted into a grimace, and my tone sounded distinctly bitter. "He came home, upset about something from work. Renee tried to comfort him. He decided the best comfort he could get was by hitting her."

"I was in the same room. I saw him beating her. I yelled for him to stop. He didn't. So I tried to get him to stop. Then he turned on me." I kept my eyes tightly closed, not wanting to see their expressions.

"After a few other times, I talked to Renee. I told her we could go to the police, report him. He would never be able to touch us again. But somehow or another, she still loved him. She begged me not to go to the police, not to tell anyone. So I didn't. Mostly, I avoided the house. I didn't want to be there when Phil was, and I couldn't handle facing Renee. I felt sorry for her, that she couldn't see past her first impression of Phil. But I also felt angry. Because she was so obsessed with what she _thought _Phil was, she let him hurt her and her own daughter."

"After a while, she mostly stopped going out in public, because she couldn't hide the bruises well enough. She stopped talking to people, everyone. Even me." My voice was sad, and I struggled to control my conflicting emotions.

"And then, she died. She went to go shopping, and she never came back. The police found her body a few days later. She had been robbed, then beaten to death on her way home. Kind of convenient, really. The way she died disguised the way she lived. All the bruises on her body, everyone assumed the robbers did it. They never thought to question whether something else was going on. After all, why should they?"

"Of course I wasn't happy that she died. But her dying let me be free to tell the police what Phil actually was. But….I didn't." I was surprised at myself how much I was admitting, how much I was giving away. After all this time of hiding my secrets, after all this time of flinching away from shadows, I was actually talking to someone. It felt incredible.

"Why didn't you tell anyone, Bella?" The voice came from beside me. I realized that Edward was still gently holding me.

I was going to lie: _I don't know_. It would be so easy. But after telling them so much, it felt like I shouldn't hide every other thing.

"Phil…was also an admirer of insults. He told Renee and me horrible things. He told us we _were_ horrible things. After a while…. I guess I just started believing him."

There was absolute silence in the room for a few moments. I still hadn't opened my eyes, and I had no idea what their reaction to my admission was. Were they shocked, sympathetic? Or did they just think I was screwed up?

"You shouldn't believe him. You shouldn't believe anything he says." Edward finally said softly. Surprised, I opened my eyes and turned my head around to stare at him. His eyes were colored like Carlisle's today, and they looked completely _sincere_. Caring. I found myself falling into their earnest butterscotch depth, almost completely unaware of the world around me.

"Is there anything else you'd like to tell us?" Carlisle asked suddenly, breaking through my reverie. I glanced back at him.

_How did he always know something about me? How did he sense when something was still wrong?_

_Should I tell them?_

_No._

I dropped my gaze from his, unable to lie while looking straight into his concerned eyes.

"No, there isn't."

I could sense his gaze still on my face, scrutinizing me. He wasn't convinced, I knew.

Finally, he started talking again. "Okay. May I suggest we get up off of the floor?" I smiled slightly at his casual attempt to lighten the atmosphere, appreciating the effort. I felt Edward's cool hands slide from my shoulder, and Carlisle stood up, offering me his hand.

I paused for a second, and then took it, rising to my feet. His hand was just as chilled as it had been when he was examining my wrist. I blinked in surprise, but quickly masked my emotions. If they could listen while I made a heart wrenching admission about how I was beaten by my step-father and had hidden that fact for years, I didn't have to ask him why his hands always felt like he had dipped them in ice water.

"I will inform Phil that I am considering pressing charges against him and informing the police of what he did today, unless he leaves Forks and does not return." Carlisle smiled, his tone slightly more businesslike. "That should be enough incentive to get him to leave."

I looked at him for a moment, stunned at his speech. Then I smiled at him gratefully, feeling like I could cry with happiness.

"In the meantime, you might want to remain here. If you give Edward your keys, he'll drive your car someplace to hide it for the time being, just in case Phil returns with Charlie or someone else."

I glanced at Edward, my eyebrows raised. He smiled devastatingly at me, and for a moment I had to focus on breathing.

I fished in my jeans pocket and pulled out my keys, handing them to him. "Okay. But be careful with it. I've seen you driving in _your_ car like your life depended on how fast you were going, but my truck doesn't go past sixty-five. Just a warning."

I could not believe that I had just made that speech. _Me_.

But he and Carlisle both chuckled, and Edward grinned at me, slightly smugly.

"Don't worry, Bella. I'll take care of your _car_." I narrowed my eyes at him, certain he was implying that my truck didn't qualify as a_ car_, and that he couldn't do much damage to it if he tried.

He stared at my expression for a few moments before sniggering again. "Fine, I'll take care of your car, and I won't even make fun of it anymore. Satisfied?"

I smiled at him, glad I had won that dispute. "Very."

We both turned to look at Carlisle laughing again, observing our conversation amusedly. "Okay, let's go. We'll be back in an hour or so Bella."

They both smiled reassuringly, and turned to leave. Edward was about to open the door when I stopped them quickly.

"Carlisle?"

They both turned around to look at me.

"Can you not tell anyone? Please?"

They both stared at me. Neither looked particularly surprised. Carlisle's face looked faintly sad and sympathetic for a moment, before he schooled his expression. Both Edward and Carlisle stared at me for a moment. Edward glanced at Carlisle and Carlisle shifted his gaze to his son. It was completely silent, but a strange paranoia swept through me, making me feel as if Carlisle and Edward where somehow silently communicating.

Carlisle looked back at me, his face and tone neutral.

"Very well Bella. We will not tell anyone." I was surprised. I _never _believed for even an _instant _that they would agree to stay silent about this. But they did.

They both disappeared out the door, and I stayed standing in the middle of Carlisle's office, listening to their retreating footsteps slowly fade away.

* * *

**How did you like it, did you notice the foreshadowing? You didn't? So sad. I can't really say I'm surprised though, I was feeling kind of enigmatic when I wrote this, so I basically said to myself: "Let's put in subtle foreshadowing and then bug people about whether they noticed it or not!" Anyways, I hoped you liked it, please tell me if you did or did not. Or if you think I'm crazy. Or if you liked it **_**and**_** you think I'm crazy! Or if you saw the foreshadowing! Or if you think I should update soon! Or if you like watching cats try to chase birds through a pane of glass!**

**J'espère que vous m'aimez, parce que je sais que je vous aime !**

**De toute façon-**

**Jusque-là**

_**Seul Lune**_


	8. Chapter 8: What I Know

**This is a really long chapter, I hope you're happy! It's the last two chapters from Edward's POV, but I think it's important to the way the story will later turn out. I'll continue with the plot line on my next update.**

**Also, some of you are complaining want to know what the French at the end of each chapter says, so I'll give you a very simple solution other than taking a French class for 3 years.**

**#1. Go onto the internet and then to Google.**

**#2. Google: Free French to English translator.**

**#3. Go to a site and just copy and paste what I wrote to that translation page.**

**#4. Click "translate" and POOF! You'll know what it says!**

* * *

Edward's POV:

Sunday morning I found myself idly fingering the keys of my piano, lost in thought and not bothering to play anything.

I had hidden my fascination with Bella from the rest of my family, being quite careful of my emotions around Jasper. I was not certain any of them would understand my unfathomable fascination with her. Even _I_ wasn't sure why I cared so much, why I was continually replaying my conversation with her in my mind.

She was captivating, even talking about something mundane as her family situation. I was already interested in her, and after our conversation I felt that I was learning more about her, that whatever she was hiding so carefully from the world was just within my grasp, if only I could find the right way to reach out and grab it.

She was most certainly a puzzle. I picked up thoughts from Jasper's mind and knew that he was sensing strange emotions from her. The day vile Mike Newton caught her before she fell and she stormed away had been a great source of gossip to the rest of the student body. But I remember feeling Jasper's mind; he was sensing an intoxicating fear so strong it almost made me fall over, and I was just feeling the rebounded echo it through his mind. I could scarcely imagine what it must have felt like to him. After we had arrived home from school, he had to stay secluded for a while, not being able to handle our emotions on top of Bella's. Her whirlwind of feelings had given him a headache. Most of us hadn't even been aware that vampires _could _get headaches.

What was it that had triggered such a violent wave of emotions? What was it that caused her to live in constant fear?

Something about our conversation in that class had bothered me. Something about the way there was fear lurking in the back of her deep brown eyes when she mentioned her past. She was depressed about her mother's death, I knew, but there was something more to it than that. The way that she had opened her mouth to lie about her stepfather, and then halted; admitting that she didn't like him, had stirred up some vague sixth sense in the back of my consciousness.

She didn't just dislike him, I had concluded. She _hated_ him. That in itself was not so spectacular. It wasn't uncommon for people to dislike others who came into their life and took the place of someone they loved. It was quite typical for someone to detest or even hate a step-relative. But she didn't just hate him. She was _afraid _of him.

_Why?_

And then there was the situation when Carlisle helped her at the hospital. I had caught his memories of the event. Bella's silence, her vague unwillingness to let him touch her, even just to examine whether she had broken a bone or not. Carlisle had sensed something was wrong. He knew, even just in the short time he had actually came in contact with her, that she was hiding something painful.

"_Isabella, please come back anytime if you ever need something."_

She had been surprised when Carlisle, out of concern and compassion, had made that statement. Her face clearly showed her shock. And also, a slight twinge of unease.

Was she scared that he had made that offer because he knew something that she had so desperately been trying conceal?

_Perhaps. _

Reluctantly, I forced myself to rise from the piano. Listening almost absent mindedly, I realized that only Jasper, Alice, and Esme were still in the house. Carlisle was likely at the hospital, and I had no inclination to know where Emmett and Rosalie were. It was very quiet. Calm.

But for some reason, I was on edge. Alert. As if I was waiting for something to happen.

Frowning, I walked up the stairs, passing Alice's room where she and Esme were discussing something I probably didn't want to be involved in. I would have passed by her room had I not heard Alice's sudden intake of breath.

I quickly entered her room. Alice's eyes glazed over and I quickly searched for whatever vision she was having, mentally bracing myself for the torrent of other images that often accompanied her visions.

_A man was standing in front of the hospital, his eyes flickering at if he was searching for something. _

Even seeing him through a vision put my teeth on edge. There was just something about him…

_His mouth turned up into an unpleasant sneer as he apparently found what he was attempting to find._

The vision suddenly swung angles, as if I was standing in the hospital and staring at him.

_He walked swiftly to the doors, shoving them open violently; apparently in a murderous rage about something. He turned quickly to look back at whatever he had seen in the parking lot, smiling repulsively again. _

The vision swung around once more, making me feel faintly nauseas; to show the object that he had been looking at.

_It was an old red car, a truck, worn but sturdy._

I felt my insides turn to ice. That was Bella's car.

The vision abruptly ended, and I looked up to see Alice frowning in confusion.

I quickly opened my mouth before she could say anything. "I have to go."

"What? What is it? Where are you going?" Esme cut in, alarmed.

"I'll be back soon." I didn't bother to answer her inquiries; because I realized that I didn't exactly know the answer myself. I did know, however, that I needed to get to the hospital. _Now._

I found myself in the cool white hallways of the hospital just a few minutes later, frantically searching for a scent.

_Why am I even here? I don't know what's going on. But I need to be…_

Finally, I picked up Bella's sweetly floral scent. It took not a small amount of effort to run at human pace, frantically asking myself questions I didn't know the answers to.

"And who are you, to want to find her?" I sped up my pace. That was Carlisle.

"I'm her step-father. Dammit! She's here, and I know it!" I felt anger building in my chest.

A step-father she apparently hated was looking for Bella. And it was blatantly apparent that it wasn't to give her an early birthday present.

I quickly rounded the corner. Carlisle and Phil were standing just outside Carlisle's office, both eyeing the other warily.

I quickly interrupted, needing to tell him more of what was occurring. "Carlisle."

He immediately turned at the sound of my voice, faintly surprised. I cleared the remaining distance between us, speaking to softly and rapidly for a human to hear.

"Is Bella here?"

"Yes. She came in this morning and asked if she could stay here today."

"She's hiding from him." I nodded towards Phil. "She's scared of him."

I saw comprehension appear in his eyes and he quickly nodded.

"Where is she, I asked!" Phil was yelling, fuming at out conversation he couldn't understand.

Carlisle turned back towards Phil, his face expressionless but his tone cold. "You are apparently under a misapprehension, sir. She is not here."

"She's here dammit! I saw her damn car out front!"

"We have already told you she is not here. I am a doctor. I am not in the business of harboring runaway teens, for whatever reason."

I resisted the urge to smirk with difficulty_. Now there is a lie. Carlisle not harboring runaway teens. He'd done it three or four times before now, though not quite under these circumstances…_

"Liar!" Phil banged on the door in frustration, practically frothing at the mouth.

"Sir, this is a hospital. If you cannot contain yourself, I will have to ask you to leave. Actually, I must ask you to leave anyhow. This area if strictly off-limits to non staff members."

"You idiot; caring after some girl. A pile of shit, that's what she is!"

I felt a cold fury rise within me. How _dare_ he come in here, call Carlisle a liar (even if he was not exactly being truthful) and then say _Bella_ was a pile of _shit. _I wanted to attack him, rip him apart for insulting her like that. He was so very close to dying. It would be so easy. I would enjoy it. There were so many ways you could kill a person. Some were swift, others slow. I liked the slow ones in his case better, but I would have to make it swift because we were in a public place. I knew I could do it. I wouldn't even have to try…

A low growl came from my mouth before I could stop it. I quickly clamped my jaws shut, forcing myself not to think of killing him, of ripping him to shreds.

Even Carlisle's calm expression had turned into a cold mask. I had rarely seen him this angry.

"Sir, I will ask the police to remove you if you do not exit this area, and stop harassing people, in one minute."

Phil's face was twisted in fury and frustration, and he vented some of his rage by slamming his fist into the door again. It picked up horrible thoughts from his mind. I ground my teeth together, trying not to hear his horrendous thought process.

He finally turned on his heel, striding down the hallway and muttering profanities I could hear as perfectly as if he was shouting them in my ear. I closed my eyes for a second, willing myself not to follow him. Not to attack.

A moment later I opened my eyes and glanced at Carlisle. His back was turned however, and he was opening the door to his office. I quickly stepped beside him as he swung the door open.

The sight inside made me feel an immediate rush of sadness and anger.

Bella was curled up in the far corner of the room. Her face was even paler than it's natural color, her clothes wrinkled and her glossy hair in disarray. There were deep circles under her eyes, and she was trembling violently. Her eyes were so full of blind terror and despair that they seemed to almost glaze over for a moment. As if she was so caught in the horrifying torrent of her own emotions that she was _living_ them. That she couldn't even see the world around her.

She stared at us for a moment, stray wisps of her beautiful hair covering her ivory skin. I felt myself falling into the depths of her tortured brown eyes, and felt another strong pang of sadness and anger. She looked so scared, so fragile, as if she would shatter into a million pieces at any moment.

I wanted to kill Phil even more now. Just for causing her to look like this. I wanted to kill anyone who would _ever_ cause her to look like this.

Then she buried her head into her curled up knees and started crying.

My heart twisted. I didn't want to see her cry. I didn't want to see her unhappy or hurt.

I walked towards her and sat down, gently touching her shaking shoulder with my icy hand.  
Carlisle came and knelt down in front of her, his face melancholy and concerned.

A few minutes passed. I simply held her, hoping that in some way I was comforting her. After a moment, her sobs subsided, and she reluctantly raised her head to look at us, her expression wary.

"Are you all right Bella?" She turned to look at Carlisle.

"Yes. I'm fine." She dropped her gaze to the floor. It was a bad lie. I stared at her for a moment, and she hesitantly opened her mouth. "Thank you." Her voice was the softest of whispers; if I wasn't a vampire I'm not certain I would have heard it.

"Bella, you don't have to answer, but I would like to ask. What's wrong?" She kept her gaze averted to the ground, seemingly thinking. I could feel her shoulder was tense underneath my hand. She glanced quickly at Carlisle's concerned face, conflicting emotions in her eyes.

Fear. Sadness. Distrust.

But then, there was a flicker of acceptance.

She closed her eyes and started telling us what she had been hiding.

Hearing it made me alternately insanely angry and extremely sad. How could anyone do that to someone like Bella? She had gone through so much. She was so tortured already, and she was still so young.

And then she began talking about her mother.

"After a while, she mostly stopped going out in public, because she couldn't hide the bruises well enough. She stopped talking to people, everyone. Even me." Bella's voice was sad, her face contorted in emotional pain.

"And then, she died. She went to go shopping, and she never came back. The police found her body a few days later. She had been robbed, then beaten to death on her way home. Kind of convenient, really. The way she died disguised the way she lived. All the bruises on her body, everyone assumed the robbers did it. They never thought to questions whether something else was going on. After all, why should they?" Her tone was depressed and bitter, holding so much pain, so much sorrow. Far too much for being only seventeen years old.

She continued, her voice now hesitant, as if she wasn't certain she wanted to tell us what she was going to say. "Of course I wasn't happy that she died. But her dying let me be free to tell the police what Phil actually was. But…I didn't."

I could tell she had stopped herself from continuing, almost as if she was afraid of our reaction.

"Why didn't you tell anyone, Bella?" I asked her gently.

She paused for a moment, her mouth pressed into a tight line. "Phil…was also an admirer of insults. He told Renee and me horrible things. He told us we _were_ horrible things. After a while… I guess I just started believing him." Her voice was full of self hate, as if it was her fault that Phil was a monster. She hadn't protected herself because she didn't think she deserved it. Because she began to feel she was worthless.

I felt rage boiling inside me again. Phil was an absolute monster. Not only did he hurt her, he also made her believe that she was insignificant, useless. He had completely terrorized her, both physically and mentally. He had lied. And she had believed him.

I felt an extreme wave of compassion for her. I wanted to make her see that she was wrong. That she deserved for people to care. That _I _cared.

"You shouldn't believe him. You shouldn't believe anything he says." I finally whispered gently. Her head snapped up and she turned to look at me. Her eyes were filled with surprise and confusion. As if she couldn't comprehend that I was trying to help her. As if she didn't expect me to _want_ to comfort her.

"Is there anything else you'd like to tell us?" Her attention shifted back to Carlisle, but not before I saw a hint of panic in her eyes.

_She's still hiding something. And Carlisle knows it too._

She looked down, studying the floor intensely. "No, there isn't."

She wasn't going to tell us, I could sense that. I frowned in irritation that I couldn't simply read her mind.

Carlisle didn't press her, I knew he wouldn't. "Okay. May I suggest we get up off of the floor?" She smiled slightly as we rose to our feet, and took the hand Carlisle offered her. Something passed through her expression, but she quickly masked it.

"I will inform Phil that I am considering pressing charges against him and informing the police of what he did toady, unless he leaves Forks and does not return." Carlisle smiled, his tone more businesslike. "That should be enough incentive to get him to leave." A smile broke out across her face, immediately making her appear more alive.

"In the meantime, you might want to remain here. If you give Edward your keys, he'll drive your car someplace to hide it for the time being, just in case Phil returns with Charlie or someone else."

Bella glanced at me, her eyebrows raised and expression skeptical. I couldn't help but smile back, wondering what she was thinking. She plunged her hand into her pocket, pulling it out and handing the keys to me.

"Okay. But be careful with it. I've seen you driving in _your_ car like your life depended on how fast you were going, but my truck doesn't go past sixty-five. Just a warning." I chuckled at her speech. She had managed to vaguely thank me and also insult me almost within one sentence.

"Don't worry, Bella. I'll take care of your _car_." I put a slight emphasis on the word, teasingly provoking her. She narrowed her eyes, picking up my subtle comment. I stared at her for a few moments, and then sniggered at her expression. She looked cute when she was mad.

"Fine, I'll take care of your car, and I won't even make fun of it anymore. Satisfied?"

She smiled. "Very."

Carlisle started laughing again, and I turned towards him. "Okay, let's go. We'll be back in an hour or so Bella."

I smiled and reached to open the door, stopping immediately as I heard her tentative voice again.

"Carlisle? Can you not tell anyone? Please?" She looked nervous.

I stared at her for a moment, then glanced at Carlisle. He looked at me, communicating with his thoughts.

_I believe she is scared of other's reactions towards her if they find out. She hasn't come to terms with what has happened herself. Though really, we should tell someone…_

I frowned slightly, subtly shaking my head. He looked at me for a moment.

_I will agree._

"Very well. Bella. We will not tell anyone." She looked surprised, as if she didn't really expect us to consent.

I quickly walked out the door, heading down the hallways towards the parking lot. I followed Bella's advice and didn't drive over sixty-five, but I was extremely annoyed with moving at such a slow speed.

I finally pulled the truck off to the side of the road, not far from our house.

Bella still wasn't telling us something. And it was something that she was also afraid of. I wished she would have told us, and wondered what it was that was so bad that she refused to tell us about it, after describing Phil _beating_ her.

I was till extremely angry at Phil, but full of sorrow for Bella. Phil had left his influence on Bella, had damaged her. That scarring was still open, still hurting her. I vowed to myself that I would help her heal.

And it finally occurred to me, thinking about Bella and Phil and Bella's secret, why I cared so much.

Even in the short time I had known her, I intensely wanted her happiness, loved her smile, her conversation. I wanted to make her grin, make her laugh. I wanted to see her smile at me, joke, and be carefree. I wanted to do absolutely anything in my power to help her. I wanted to protect her, wanted to care for her, wanted her to care for me.

I knew that was wrong. I was a monster just as much as Phil was. Perhaps not in the same way, but I drank_ blood _for goodness sakes. But I wanted to be with Bella, more than anything in the world.

Maybe I was using the excuse of wanting to help her heal as a way to be near her. I knew I shouldn't, but I also knew I would.

I also knew one other thing.

I was in love will Bella Swan.

* * *

**That was the longest chapter I have EVER written!**

**I really wanted to write the last two chapters from Edward's point of view, so I did. I just felt his thoughts and feelings are so important to this story that you should realize what he is going through with Bella. This chapter also has foreshadowing, and it's a whole lot more obvious. I'd even go as far as to call you an idiot if you didn't notice it. **

**I hope you liked it, I promise I'll proceed with the plot in the next chapter! I promise I'll update soon! I'll also promise that I'll stop rambling now!**

**J'espère que vous êtes amusé, je suis !**

**La mise à jour prochaine sera bientôt.**

**Les souris avec les ailes sont stupéfiantes !**

**Bien sûr jusque-là-**

_**Seul Lune**_


	9. Chapter 9: Dream that is Reality

* * *

Bella's POV:

I sat down on my bed a couple hours later, my head spinning and still in a light haze about what had happened in such a short amount of time. Phil came. I told part of my secret. Carlisle threatened Phil. Phil left. Carlisle created a cover story.

In less than 24 hours, I sensed a shift in my existence. As though the folds of a blanket were pulled back. And somehow, with some vague, unidentifiable sixth sense, I knew that my life would never be the same again.

I lay back onto my bed, physically and mentally exhausted, not bothering to change into my pajamas. I closed my eyes, and despite the fact that I was drop-dead tired, I knew sleep would not come easily.

My mind wandered back to my conversation with them. I had confessed more than I once believed I ever would, but still hadn't told the entire story. I couldn't bring myself to enlighten the people who had saved me that they had spent their time rescuing someone who was…dirty. Unclean.

_Anyways, it's not like I'm the only one keeping a secret. _

Because the Cullen family had a secret. There was something _different_ about them, if only in a seemingly subtle way. Something I saw characteristics of, but I couldn't quite pinpoint. The answer was elusive, like trying to catch smoke, but so close within my reach I should be able to touch it.

I had never felt inclined to look into other people lives, other people's secrets. I had enough problems in my own life to worry about. Not anymore.

I took long deep breaths, sweeping idle thoughts away from my mind, forcing my tensed muscles to relax.

The drive back home from the hospital had seemed strange. Carlisle surveyed me with a troubled expression, while Edward spared me glances every so often, a peculiar expression on his flawless face. Both had asked me if I was alright, and neither had seemed surprised when I immediately replied that I was. As if they were expecting me to say exactly what I had.

As if they could read my mind.

I shuddered, grinding my head back into my lumpy pillow.

It was unsettling how nervous I was by that ridiculous thought.

But I had already accepted that there was something different about them, how did I know there differences ended with just what I had seen? They could turn into bloodthirsty wolves at night, spending the dark hours of the morning baying at the moon for all I knew.

And I would likely never truly know.

I concentrated on the steady sound of my own breathing, allowing my mind to drift.

Answers. Such an elusive idea.

I was vaguely aware of myself slipping into myself as I drifted to sleep, still contemplating the mysterious and indefinable Cullens.

_Someone laughed. It was a low chuckle of amusement, deep, obviously emanating from a male, though I couldn't see its source. Something about it was sinister._

_I whipped my head around, alarmed, trying to penetrate the encroaching night to find the sound's disembodied owner._

_Only blackness. Blackness so deep it seemed to be slowly gathering around me, sucking the air out of my lungs, pulling the life out of my body._

_I started running, though I didn't feel anything beneath me. _

_I felt myself moving, felt my breathing increase as I scurried along through the darkness._

_But was I even moving at all?_

_All I could see was black. I felt nothing._

_Maybe I wasn't running, maybe I only__** thought**__ I was running._

_If I wasn't running, what was I doing?_

_I skidded to an abrupt halt, stretching my fingers out, hoping to feel the hardness, the security of a wall, an object. Slowly, I leaned down, feeling the ground beneath me._

_There was nothing beneath me._

_I stopped breathing, stopped looking._

_I was trapped. Trapped by a shroud of gloom._

_Someone laughed again. _

_I froze, frantically scanning the darkness again. I knew I wouldn't find anything. And I didn't._

_Something brushed past me. A scream caught in my throat._

_I felt a hand touching mine, a hand brushing down my spine, making my hair stand on end._

_And I still stood, absolutely frozen._

"_Where are you?" I yelled into the darkness, groping for the hands that where touching me. Nothing. My voice didn't even echo back to me like I had expected. It just seemed dull, and faded into the thick void as if the shade had swallowed it. "Who are you?"_

_Laughter. Then a voice._

"_Bella? Bella, dear, I've been looking for you… It wasn't nice of you to hide from me. Surely you knew I would find you eventually?" _

_I swear my heart stopped._

_I knew that voice._

"_**Steven**__."_

_This time, when the laugh came, it wasn't a soft snickering. It was loud, full of devilish mirth._

_I stiffened as I felt a warm breath touching the back of my neck._

"_I missed you Bella."_

_I screamed, futilely swiping the darkness behind my._

_My hands met nothing but dead air._

"_Still trying to fight me? Still? Why do you bother? You can't win. You never will."_

_I could hear my own heart pounding, and I gasped weakly for breath. I felt hands brush down my sides, skimming over my waist._

"_Go away! Don't touch me!"_

"_Don't touch me, don't touch me." I heard him mimic. _

_I screamed again._

_Then, a new voice._

"_Bella? Bella, are you okay?" Smooth, sweet, like music._

"_Edward." I breathed in relief. Edward would help me. He would save me._

"_Bella?" Abruptly, I was able to see him. He looked even more unearthly beautiful than usual, his pale skin seemed to actually __**glow**_

_A low chuckle sounded in my ear again. I whipped my head around, and found I could see Steven, but not completely. Only a vague outline._

"_Go away Steven, you can't hurt me anymore."_

"_Why?" He sniggered. "Because __**he's**__ here? Do you honestly think he'll help you? After he knows you are so damn __**clean**__ as he thinks you are? After he knows that you fought me, but after a while, you knew you were too weak? After he knows that after a while, you stopped fighting? I don't think so…"_

"_Bella?"_

_I turned to face Edward again, my previous feeling of relief slightly marred by doubt. But no. He would help me. I knew he would._

"_Bella, what's going on? Who is __**he**__?"_

"_He's... He's no one Edward."_

"_I'm no one. Bella dear, you're hurting my feelings. You say I'm no one. What about you?"_

"_I'm not!"_

"_What's going on Bella?" I met Edward's beautiful golden eyes, scrutinizing me curiously. Then, his gaze flicked over my shoulder to Steven. "Why are you with him?"_

"_I'm not with him!"_

"_Oh, but yes she is. In fact she's been with me all along. She's actually__** been**__ with me."_

_Edward looked confused for a moment, and then abruptly, his expression turned into a cool mask._

"_I see." He finally said, glaring at me. His eyes were black now._

"_No Edward! I didn't mean it! He was too strong, I couldn't fight him! Please, Edward, please…" I was begging now, reaching out my hand towards him. _

_Edward's hard mask didn't even waver._

"_You obviously didn't fight hard enough, did you? And now you're…__**dirty**__." His perfect mouth turned down in distain, his pitch eyes condemning me. _

"_No, Edward. I didn't mean it. __**Please**__."_

_He stared at me, his expression hard. "Bye, Bella!" He finally spat venomously, turning to leave. _

"_No, Edward! Please don't leave me here! Please! I didn't want it to happen, I hated him. Please, don't leave me here! Don't go…" He smiled at me. But it wasn't a pleasant smile. "No Edward. No…" _

_I felt warm tears running down my face as I watched him disappear into the fatalistic darkness, without a word. Without even glancing back._

_Ice trickled through my veins. My guardian angel had abandoned me. I was truly, completely forsaken._

"_What did I tell you? He doesn't like you. He doesn't care. No one does…" _

_I turned to search for Steven's silhouette, and found nothing._

_Then his hands touched me, pulling me downwards._

"_No!" I screamed, thrashing ineffectively. "No! Edward, please, help me! Please!"_

_There was no reply._

_Laughing again. Sinister, amused laughing._

_He pulled me downwards, deeper into a darker black. Farther into the despairing abyss._

"_Oh, I missed you Bella." This time his breath seemed frozen, and I still couldn't even see him. "You'll have to pay for all the time we were separated. We have a lot of catching up to do, you and I…."_

_Darkness. Horrible, looming, crushing darkness. I had no air left; there was nothing to breath down here, no place to run…_

_With my last breath I screamed, one last thing. One last plea before the darkness to me forever._

"_NO!"_

I sat up in my bed, sweat and tears pouring down my face, my hair mussed, my dirty clothes still on.

_Just a dream. Just a dream._

Just a dream that seemed to hold the finality of truth…

I took a deep breath, looking at my dark room.

I froze.

I wasn't alone.

A dark silhouette was outlined by the dim moonlight spilling in from my open window.

_What? I didn't leave my window open…_

What had happened came to me in a rush. Someone had sneaked in through my window. Someone had been watching me…

My breathing picked up, and I pressed myself into the wall, shying away from the three dimensional shadow.

My scream seemed to by stuck in my throat. I couldn't breathe.

The shape paused for a moment, then slowly crept towards me, noiselessly.

I inhaled sharply.

A shape in the darkness. Coming towards me.

I couldn't even hear it breathing.

It seemed like a nightmare.

Maybe it was…

I clenched my hands, feeling my fingernails press painfully against my palms, confirming what I had vaguely known all along.

This was no dream…

* * *

**Dona smuain?**

**á**

**Fuathasach anns?**

**Dara ciamar**

**Bella's á a' amhluadh**

**Ruig ma tà**

_**Seul Lune**_

**Just a hint, by the way: That is definitely NOT French. If you haven't noticed. I got slightly bored with it. So I switched to another language. Any guesses on which one? My guess, personally, is that you won't know. Anyhow, please tell me what you thought, I really appreciate it. You can also tell me if you know what language this is, but forgive me if I express my doubts. Anyways, the next update will certainly be sooner than this one was. **

**Again:**

**Ruig ma tà**

_**Seul Lune**_


	10. Chapter 10: Undeserving and Despair

**I told you I would update more quickly! See, I'm not a filthy rotten liar.**

**Also, about the language thing, I just have to say it was hilarious! Some people came up with some, ummm, let's just say interesting guesses. But more people were correct than I thought there would be. Here's the count:**

**Portuguese- 3. German- 1. Italian- 2. Russian- 1. **

**Also, one person also gave me a personal message because they had already reviewed the chapter, saying the language was **_**Canadian.**_** I won't say any names but, cough cough, someone really needs some help. **_**Canadian?(**_**sniggers**

**But, SIX of you wonderful people were right, the language was Gaelic! It was Scottish Gaelic though, not Irish Gaelic. **

**Kudos for you!**

* * *

Bella's POV:

_The shape paused for a moment, then slowly crept towards me, noiselessly._

_I inhaled sharply._

_A shape in the darkness. Coming towards me._

_I couldn't even hear it breathing._

_It seemed like a nightmare._

_Maybe it was…_

_I clenched my hands, feeling my fingernails press painfully against my palms, confirming what I had vaguely known all along._

_This was no dream…_

I struggled further back towards the wall, trying in vain to put more space between myself and the intruder.

Who was it?

Why was he, or she, here?

I inhaled sharply, opening my mouth to scream.

The shadow seemed to move with blinding speed, before I knew what had happened, I felt an iron hand clamped over my mouth, blocking my last hope for help. I struggled wildly, thrashing against the shape, entangling myself in my sheets.

Swinging my arm hysterically, I managed to catch my assailant directly in the stomach.

He didn't even flinch.

"Bella! Bella! Calm down, it's just me, Edward!" I immediately stopped fighting as I recognized his velvet voice, earnestly trying to quiet me. He slowly removed his hand from my mouth, and I glared at his shadowed face.

"It's the middle of the night, Edward!" My voice sounded strange. "Wait! What are you doing in my _room_?"

I glared at him, wanting answers for his inexplicable breaking and entering. He shifted uncomfortably, apparently not having an answer. I wiggled myself out of my entangled sheets, switching on the lamp near by bed.

I blinked rapidly as bright light suddenly filled the room. Closing my eyes, I waited impatiently for them to adjust to the glow. Finally, I looked up at Edward, annoyed and slightly scared.

_What is he doing here?_

His beautiful face was worried, illuminated by the sudden light.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

I rolled my eyes at his obnoxious statement. "Edward! What do you mean _well what_? It's the middle of the night! You're in my bedroom! There is no _what_ about this situation!" I didn't admit it to him, but the only reason I was so annoyed was probably because he had scared me. Secretly, I felt inexplicably glad that he was with me.

Abruptly, another thought occurred to me. "How long have you been here?"

"Not long."

I glared at him. His eyes were too wide, too earnest to possibly be telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help him God.

I simply stared at him in stony silence, silently conveying my blatant disbelief. His face looked more insecure than I have ever seen it. Even when we were in the hospital and I was confessing, even though he had looked worried then, he was still calm. Collected. This was probably the first time I've ever seen him unsettled, fumbling for words.

"Okay. I've been here a while."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"No more _well whats_ Edward! _Why are you in my room in the middle of the night_?" I was practically yelling now, angry at his innocent façade. Did he honestly think I was gullible enough to fall for that?

"Shhh. Charlie is here you know."

I looked expectantly at him, feeling annoyed, scared, and confused at the same time.

When my silence continued, Edward finally sighed, apparently unconsciously coming to a decision.

"I was just staying with you. I was worried, after what happened today."

"I've been sleeping alone for the past seventeen years Edward. I'm perfectly fine. Why would tonight be any different?" Wow. That was a half good lie.

For some reason, Edward's perfect lips quirked up slightly, as if he was enjoying some private joke. Angry, I began my Spanish Inquisition once again. "Do you feel no urge to sleep _yourself _or something?"

Again, Edward's face was lit up by a crooked smile that almost took my breath away. But I was coherent enough to be annoyed that he was quite obviously enjoying more than one joke at my expense.

Huffing, I sat inelegantly back down on my bed, glaring up at his perfect face. Almost hesitantly, he moved to the other side of the room, seating himself in my old rocking chair. It squeaked as he sat, and we both winced, straining to make sure Charlie continued to sleep.

"I really was just worried about you. I wanted to make sure you were alright."

"So you broke into my house, came into my room at night and watched me _sleep _because you wanted to make sure I was _alright_?" He didn't answer, avoiding my eyes. "Edward! You can't just not answer me! Why are you here? Even if you were worried, couldn't you just check from outside? And why did you stay once you knew I was fine? And why aren't you asleep yourself?"

"I'm not tired, I slept earlier today. Like I said before, I wanted to make sure you're alright."

"There's more to it than that Edward, and I know it. You helped me today, and I'm really grateful, but we hardly know each other and the next thing I know I wake up and find a strange person in my room in the middle of the night!"

"That's why you're mad, isn't it? I scared you?" I stared into his eyes, surprised by his correct assumption. He looked back at me, his eyes pleading. "I'm sorry I scared you Bella. I didn't think you would wake up. I didn't mean to frighten you."

I shifted my gaze to the tangled sheets, a blush mantling my cheeks. Suddenly, Edward was beside me, his cold hand on my shoulder. "You shouldn't be embarrassed to be afraid Bella. And you shouldn't be embarrassed about yourself. I know we hardly know each other, and you might not even think we're friends, but I would like to be. Very much."

Startled, I looked into his honey eyes, seeing concern, but also a hint of something else. Was it guilt? Doubt?

I smiled at him, suddenly feeling the strong urge to cry. He wanted to be my friend. He _liked_ me. I looked down to hide my revealing face, when I finally spoke, my voice had a slight edge of a tremor in it. "I'd like to be friends too, Edward. But next time you want to see me, just don't do it during the middle of the night after breaking into my house." I put a weak joke into my speech, hoping to alleviate the tense atmosphere. It worked. He laughed softly, pulling his hand from my shoulder.

I looked back up at him, frowning as another question came to me.

"What is it?"

I looked at him in puzzlement. "How _did _you break in Edward? It's kind of a long jump from the tree to my window. _And_ it was locked."

"It wasn't locked." I looked at him, skeptical. I had been _certain _I locked it. "And the jump isn't that far. At least, not for someone who can walk across a flat surface without tripping. I wouldn't recommend it for you."

I scowled at him, annoyed at his casually teasing reference to my balance issues. "Don't be mad Bella. I'm just stating a fact." I rolled my eyes, standing up in the process.

"What time is it?"

He glanced quickly at his watch, and back up to me. "It's two."

"_In the morning_?"

"No, Bella, in the afternoon."

I rolled my eyes again, but grinned. I had to admit, even to myself, that my question had been quite far into the realm of stupidity. He chuckled at my odd expression, standing up himself.

"I suppose I should leave… We do have school tomorrow, after all."

I groaned as I thought about it, completely unwilling to return to the realm of high school hell. He sniggered at my reaction as I turned off the light and yanked my door open. Tiptoeing down the hallway, I listened for Charlie's telltale snores, relaxing slightly as we finally reached the front door.

Opening it, I looked at Edward, smiling. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Then, time seemed to almost stop.

He was smiling as well, such a beautiful, devastating smile. His eyes were so dazzling, his pale face seemed to be illuminated. I stared at him, and he suddenly seemed to become aware of that fact.

His expression unexpectedly turned nervous, as if he was having some inner turmoil, debating with himself. Apparently, one side won, because he slowly started leaning towards me.

I couldn't breathe as his cool hand gently pulled a stray strand of hair out of my face, my eyes were fixated on his own butterscotch ones. Carefully he leaned forward, pausing when his god-like face was just inches from my own. Finally he gently pressed his icy lips against mine, his cold hand falling down to my shoulder.

It was amazing.

His perfect lips were chilly, but soft against my own, unmoving. His gentle but firm hand was placed on my shoulder, carefully holding me.

I didn't move, didn't try to deepen the kiss. I was surprised that he was doing this, and absolutely amazed that he had chosen me to do it with. He was so perfect, so beautiful. Strong, but caring, gentlemanly almost in a turn of the century way. I was pretty, but there was no way I deserved an angel like him.

He held me, softly kissing me in front of my open door, at two o'clock in the morning.

It was strange, almost.

But it was bliss.

_Asking him what he was doing._

_His arms on me._

_Asking him again._

_Yelling for him to stop._

_Yelling for help. _

_Someone, anyone???_

_Please, stop._

_His arms, pinning me against the rough concrete wall._

_My arms and head, bruised from impact._

_Struggling._

_I am too weak._

_His strong arms wrapped around me, not allowing me to escape._

_Pain._

_His smile. _

_Leering._

_Smug._

_My panic, cold terror._

_His strength._

_My weakness._

_Someone, anyone help please???_

_My echoes, coming back to me._

_I am cold I am weak._

_I am trapped._

_I am alone……_

I didn't deserve Edward. I didn't deserve to even pretend I deserved him.

I didn't feel scared of him in the same way I felt scared of other boys who had tried to be close to me. I realized that I almost _loved _him. For all I barely knew him.

But, he didn't know the truth. He didn't know that I was tainted, unclean, impure. He had no idea what had happened to me.

I was an awful person.

He had told me that I deserved protection. But I couldn't bring myself to believe him.

He may hate me once I told him. Because I would have to tell him. He didn't deserve to not know. He didn't deserve not know what had happened to me, that I wasn't such a wonderful person as he believed.

I didn't deserve him.

And he certainly deserved more than me.

And I came to this complete conclusion, all in the time period of our soft kiss. Our soft kiss that I would give anything to repeat.

Tears sprang into my eyes and I pulled away from him. His face wasn't surprised, but his eyes clearly showed hurt.

"I'm sorry Bella. I shouldn't have done that. It was very improper of me." I just stared at him, silent tears falling down my cheeks.

I loved him. I wanted him. But I didn't deserve him. And he would hate me once he knew, surely.

"I knew I didn't deserve you…" His voice was such a faint mutter that I'm certain he didn't mean for me to hear it. His face was so sad, so agonized, that my heart twisted.

Why couldn't I let myself love him? Why couldn't I let us be together?

I thought about forgetting about my past, thought about just starting new.

But a familiar wave of self hate, of self disgust swept through me. I was dirty. And I hated myself. If I didn't love _myself_, how could anyone ever even bring themselves to love me?

I choked back wild sobs as more tears started falling down my face.

"No Edward. I'm the one that doesn't deserve you. I- I just don't. You… you shouldn't like me."

"Isabella." I looked at him, surprised. I think that was the first time I had really ever heard him say my full name like that. "How can you possibly not deserve me? I'm the one that shouldn't belong to anyone. You deserve someone, Bella. Not me. How can you even_ think_ you're not good enough?" His voice sounded almost angry. "You haven't been here for that long, but I _know _you Bella. You deserve almost anything."

His face was so sincere, so earnest. And even yet, as I heard those wonderful words, I knew they were a lie. I lie I couldn't bring myself to believe.

"No, Edward. You- you don't know me as well as you think you do. You shouldn't like me." My voice was strangled, and I tried to hold back another wave of tears. Looking at Edward, his beautiful face was sad, tortured, but also confused. I gave him one last sorrowful glance. His eyes bored into my own, pleading.

I unsuccessfully choked back another sob, and quickly closed the door, directly in his face.

I had just shut my angel, the best thing that had ever happened to me, out of my life.

_No._

I waited in complete silence, listening for the sound of an engine pulling away. After a few minutes when I heard nothing, I yanked open the door, almost expecting Edward to still be standing there, his beautiful face silhouetted against the darkness.

He was gone.

Stepping outside, I looked around. There was no car, no Edward, no sign that he had ever even been here at all.

I felt warm tears slide down my face. I leaned against the rough siding of the house, letting myself sink to the ground.

He was gone.

And he would probably never come back.

He would hate me now. He would hate that I had rejected him, then slammed the door in his face. He had helped me so much, cared so much, and I had turned him away.

But he would despise me once he knew the truth about me anyhow.

Why was life so cruel? So terribly, coldly cruel?

The porch was cold beneath me, and I leaned my head against the wall. Desolation filled me, pulling me into the darkness that I had strived so hard to avoid.

I knew I had to turn him away, for his own sake. So he didn't hate me even more when he learned how I was. What had happened to me. I just didn't know that turning him away would be so hard. I hadn't realized how much it would tear me apart, how much it would kill me.

Finally, giving into the misery that filled me, I let my sobs out. I let myself cry, let myself hate the world and all it's coldness. I looked out into the night, into the darkness.

The sky was cloudy, obscured by a hazy fog.

No moon.

I sunk into my misery, my self hate. I cried again, for the second time this day. But this time, it wasn't out of shock or relief. It was caused by pure, unadulterated pain. Desperation.

I just cried. Cried, hoping that in some way, somehow, my bitter tears would lessen the torture, the misery, the utter desolation that filled my world like an endless ocean; threatening to drag me down into its black, icy depths.

* * *

**I think that was the most depressing chapter so far, do you agree?**

**Some of you also told me that you were having trouble reviewing for the chapter, it was saying that you had already reviewed. That happened because I erased my Author's Note that used to be chapter six and loaded my new chapter, and something got messed up. Anyways, I think it should be back to normal now.**

**I'll give you a prize if anyone knows this language. I'm more confident that people won't, this time.**

**Å Trykking ned eller hva ?**

**Likevel jeg håper du nøt det !**

**Til da,**

_**Seul Lune**_


	11. Chapter 11: I Will Fight

**There are a lot of either really strange or really smart people reading this right now, because even more of you got the right answer on this language than the last one! Yes, it was Norwegian. But honestly, how do so many random people just **_**happen **_**to know that? But I will find a language that NO ONE will guess, and then I WILL be able to say that you didn't get it!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!**

**(Insane slightly disturbing rant over)**

**Anyways, I also realized I have forgotten to put a disclaimer on the last few chapters, so here it is: I do not own Twilight or any of the associated characters in that book. No copyright violation is intended. Please don't sue me, lawyers who are even stranger than I am!!!!**

* * *

Edward's POV: 

I couldn't begin to fathom Bella's thought process._ She_ believed that she didn't deserve _me_. It was completely absurd, as if that sentiment should not be the other way around.

I had watched her sleep, grappling with my inner turmoil. I knew I should not try to be with her, I knew I put her in danger, that I at any moment, I could so very easily wipe the life out of her beautifully fragile body. But I knew that I didn't want to avoid her, didn't want to distance myself. Completely the opposite.

I tried to understand my own feelings. I did not believe it was possible to feel so strongly about anyone, particularly someone I have known for such a short amount of time. I had never known if I believed in love at first sight, despite Rosalie and Emmett's story. I had never been able to grasp the fact that they had seen each other and just _known _they belonged to one another. Not until Bella.

I still didn't understand how I could love her so quickly, despite the fact that I didn't even know that much about her. Despite the fact that she was keeping still another secret from me. This was the first time in my existence I had ever had to face a problem such as this one. Before Bella, I had known exactly who I was and what my place on this earth was. Now, I am not so certain.

I watched her quiet dream slowly turn into a nightmare. I saw her fighting against something I could not see, I heard her scream. Then she had said my name. I realized she was dreaming about me. My happiness had been short lived. Because her dream very obviously wasn't pleasant.

I had to consciously hold myself back from waking her. I wanted to end her invisible torment; I didn't want her to struggle with herself. But simultaneously, I had to wonder what she dreamed about. What scared her so deeply?

Was it Phil? Even as I had thought his name, I growled. It was a good thing he was not in the same state anymore. If he had been, he would be dead by now.

But some innate sense told me that was not it. Told me there was something else. Something was torturing Bella, my Bella as I had already began to think, to the point where she would be screaming in the middle of the night because of it.

And then she had woken up. I had tried to disappear before she saw me, but I was so immersed in my own conflicting thoughts I was too late. Our conversation had been awkward, to say the least. But she hadn't minded that I was in her room. Just knowing that was worth being caught.

Then, I had kissed her.

I knew I shouldn't, I knew it was wrong. I told myself that this could so very easily lead to something tragic, that I could lose control any minute, especially with her so close, but I had kissed her anyhow.

I could still recall the feel of her warm, gentle lips against mine, the hot skin of her shoulder beneath my hand.

I have never known anything like it. And for just an instant, I allowed myself to be caught in that beautiful instant, that moment where I think I was happier, more alive than I have been in ninety years.

And then she pulled away. She was crying, and I was appalled at myself. I tried to explain, to apologize. Her expression was so sad, so tortured, I wondered if she didn't hate me. Because she should.

But she had told me something I had never expected her to say. She had said _she_ wasn't good enough, that she was the one that didn't deserve me. She told me that I didn't know her, and I instantly realized she was referring to her secret. Her secret that so obviously tortured her, that so obviously seemed to be tearing her apart.

She slammed the door in my face, and I had stood there for a while, attempting to let her outrageous words sink in.

But I realized it then. She didn't want me.

I was heartbroken.

I left. I started to run. Run away from her house, from her.

But I stopped. I turned around. I returned.

She was sitting on the porch, crying. So alone, so sad, so unearthly beautiful that my dead heart seemed to twist.

I was the only one who was heartbroken.

So now I was here, laying in my room, brooding.

A gentle knock sounded at my door, but I didn't avert my troubled gaze from the ceiling.

"Come in, Alice." I knew it was her without looking.

I heard her soft footsteps as she entered the room, felt her sit down beside me on the couch.

"Edward. I'm sorry." She had Seen. I should have known. I also should have known that she would have realized how I felt, even more than Jasper. "But Edward, it isn't you. Something's just wrong."

_It's not you, it's me…_

I sat up, finally looking my sister in the face. She was the only one out of the family who had truly understood how I felt about what happened. The others had felt sorry for Bella, had been surprised, but they didn't have the same depth of emotion involved in the situation. And they didn't know that I did.

Alice eyes locked with mine, giving me a gaze of complete understanding. She knew. Even if no one else did.

"It's going to be alright, Edward." But she hadn't Seen that. She was just telling me it, just trying to comfort me.

I forced a weak smile at her, appreciating her effort. "Okay, Alice."

"We're going to go on a hunting trip for the next few days. You should come. It might help." She stared at me with concerned eyes for a few more seconds, then swept out of the room without a word.

Maybe I would go. I didn't particularly want to leave Bella, but I needed to clear my head.

_It's going to be alright. _

_It's going to be alright._

_**Bella's**__ going to be alright._

_And if she isn't_, I promised myself, _I'll do anything to make sure she will be. _

Because I would save my angel, no matter the cost.

* * *

Bella's POV: 

I skipped school on Monday, like the coward I was. I couldn't face him yet. I asked myself how long it would take me to face him, but I didn't have an answer. It seemed I never had an answer.

I told Charlie that I was sick, I didn't even have to pretend I didn't feel well. A mix of getting very little sleep and then crying my eyes out on the porch outside had made me look like I'd been to hell and back without me even my trying.

And maybe I had been to hell and back. If this feeling, this sensation of complete engulfing, utter despair wasn't hell, then I didn't know what was.

All day, I thought about Edward, about what I had said, what I had done.

It was torture.

And all day, I dreaded the thought of returning to school, facing _him_.

I wondered idly if he had told his siblings. He might have. But at the moment, I couldn't bring myself to care. For years, my most overriding concern had been to keep my secret. And now, I found I didn't hardly _care_ if anyone knew. Not anymore.

When morning came the next day, I wasn't sure whether I was glad my last nightmarish day was over, or whether I was scared. I shouldn't be. I shouldn't _have _to be. But I was.

The term, butterflies in your stomach, gave itself a whole new meaning as I drove to school in the rain, trying to avoid swerving off of the road. I was early, as normal, but I just sat in my truck, numbly staring as the parking lot slowly filled with people.

The silver Volvo never came.

I sighed in relief, grateful beyond words that I wouldn't have to face him now, today. And at the same time I felt depressed that he wasn't here, close to me.

I really needed to get my emotions under control.

School was long as usual, particularly Biology. I couldn't help but glance at the vacated seat to my left every few seconds, wondering where Edward and his family were.

I drove back home slowly, the rain had picked up, and unhurriedly walked to the house, certain I would break my neck at any moment. The house was quiet and empty as usual, and I dropped my school things in the entryway, tugging off my muddy boots.

I was balanced on one foot, trying to get my shoe off, when the phone abruptly rang. I jumped in surprise and immediately tumbled to the ground, landing in a clumsy heap on the floor. Quickly standing up, I ran to the kitchen, yanking the phone off the hook.

"Hello?" I asked breathlessly.

"Miss Swan?" The voice on the other end was bored, but in a formal on-the-job sort of way.

"Yes?"

"We recently found a piece of luggage belonging to you at the airport, unclaimed. We are holding in our customer service area, you may come pick it up between 11 a.m. and 7 p.m."

"What?" But the operator had already hung up.

_I'm not missing anything, am I? I would have noticed if I left a bag behind by now. I'm sure I didn't lose anything…_

_But how many Isabella Swans who just happened to leave their bag in a small Washington airport can there honestly be?_

Frowning, scribbled a note to Charlie, deciding to go to the airport to at least check. It was only an hour drive, after all, and I didn't have that much homework.

I quickly went back out to my truck, pulling out of the driveway, carefully aware of the hazardous driving conditions.

Even with my antique truck and my poor driving ability, I managed to arrive at the airport before seven o'clock. The parking lot was practically deserted, and the normally bustling hallways had almost no people.

_But then, most people aren't flying somewhere from a remote Washington airport in the middle of the week._

There was no line at the customer service counter, and I was able to walk directly up to the middle aged woman behind the counter.

"Excuse me? I'm Isabella Swan. I was told you have a missing bag that belongs to me?"

The woman hardly even glanced up to look at me. She quickly pulled out a piece of paper, scanning down the list.

"_Isabella _Swan? Oh, this bag is registered to an _Ella _Swan. Apparently there's been a mistake. I am terribly sorry for the confusion." It was probably in her job description to say she was terribly sorry for any kind of mistake the airport made, because she blatantly didn't look remotely regretful.

Annoyed, but not surprised, I turned away from the counter, heading back to the parking lot and grumbling about people who couldn't read to myself.

I didn't realize I wasn't particularly looking where I was going until I was out in the dark deserted lot again, and I ran directly into another person.

The asphalt rushed up to meet me as I tumbled sideways to the ground, feeling my breath being knocked away. I sat up dazedly, gingerly touching the side of my face and wincing in pain and disgust as I felt warm sticky blood on my fingers.

I clamped my mouth tightly shut, willing myself not to vomit, trying not to see or smell the sickening scent of my own blood.

"Bella?"

My head snapped up in surprise as a vaguely familiar voice asked my name.

My stomach dropped.

Three guesses who it was.

_Steven._

And this definitely, absolutely 110 positively wasn't a dream.

I didn't say anything, but I knew that my eyes were wide with fear. I shrunk back on the dirty pavement, trying to get away from his horribly familiar face.

Vaguely, I asked myself how much bad luck a person could possibly have. What were the chances that I just happened to run into the person I most feared in an airport, where I wouldn't normally have been in anyhow?

I couldn't breath. It was as if someone had grabbed me around the neck and was squeezing. I gasped for air and tried to scoot away from him, scraping my hands across the rough ground.

"Bella? What a surprise to see you here. I always wondered where you ended up."

I clumsily sprang to my feet, backing away from him.

My mind was in overdrive, frantically trying to think what to do.

Grasping at the desperate idea I could just run from him, I spun on my heel, dashing back towards the airport terminal, where there where more people, witnesses.

I couldn't hardly see through the relentless icy downpour, and I had to focus all of my concentration on not falling. I heard the sound of feet smacking against the wet ground behind me, and I knew with utter certainty that he was following me.

Gasping for breath, I felt my foot catch on something and went tumbling to the cold ground for the second time that day. Clumsily, I scrambled to get up, but I felt hands grab my feet from behind, dragging me to the side of the building, in the direction of a shadowed recess.

My stomach scraped against the asphalt, and I cried out in pain as it sliced my skin. Struggling wildly, I tried in vain to get up, to run away. The hands released my ankles, only to grip my shoulders, forcing my up against the wall, spinning me to face my assailant.

"Bella, Bella. Isn't this just like old times? You and me, alone together?" Cold sweat broke out on my forehead as he talked, his face inches from my own. I could smell is breath. It was cinnamon, as if he had been chewing on gum.

I struggled wildly against his oppressing hands, giving all my diminished stamina to fight him.

But just as before, he was stronger. And he always would be stronger.

But this time, I would fight the entire time. This time, I would not stop struggling because of the pain and the fear.

Thrashing, I managed to slap him in the face, drawing blood. His hand lashed out and collided with my nose, and I heard a sickening crouching sound.

My already shady surroundings seemed to darken and swirl before my eyes as I felt warm blood seep out of my nose. Steven's gleefully twisted face seemed to swim before my eyes. I vaguely registered the pain on my face and stomach, vaguely felt the cold wind and icy rain pounding against my half limp body.

What I felt in sharp awareness was my fear so strong it was almost palpable. Somewhere, I summoned up some extra reserve of strength and lashed out again, still futilely fighting.

I had promised myself that even though I was cold, I was in pain, I would not stop fighting like I had last time. I would not submit until I had no choice whatsoever.

I felt cold droplets of rain on the skin of my chest, and I registered vaguely that I was still pinned against the rough wall, half clothed. Viciously, I kicked my leg with all of my strength at Steven. His dark silhouette doubled over in pain, uttering a low curse.

Something hard struck the side of my face, and the darkness seemed to draw closer. I saw the ominous clouds in the stormy sky, spilling their contents to the earth. As if they were crying themselves.

And then there was nothing.

* * *

**Suspenseful. Violent. Depressing. Mildly disturbing. Don't you love my writing? I'm hoping to update soon, but I'm not certain I'll be able to, because I have some things I need to get done before my mother kills me then resurrects me and makes me do them anyhow. **

**But, I still should be able to update within the next two days. In the meantime, try to figure out this language you too-smart-for-your-own-good-crazy-people-who-actually-like-my-writing. **

**(And how do I know all of these languages? That's for me to know and you to never find out.)**

**Ha you're olvasó ez , amit anyagi eszközök ÉN didn't bolond ember ön. újra ÉN igazán szükség -hoz talál némely halott régi nyelv csak tehát ÉN tud mond ÉN tett.**

**Megáll lét tehát szúró. Ez bosszantó.**

**Amíg ÉN bánt ön újra –**

_**Seul Lune**_


	12. Chapter 12: To Die For

**I'm so sorry about the delay. I said one or two days. I lied. (Sob) You can even call me a filthy rotten liar if you like. But I plead mitigating circumstances. First I had to do chores for my mom, then she found out we were having family over, so I had to clean even more. Oh the agony! It burns!**

**The language was Hungarian. For all of you who didn't know. For those who did: THIS MEANS WAR!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Okay, I'll shut up now.**

**I do not own Twilight, any of the characters, America, the Empire State Building, Blarney Castle, Coca Cola, or earthworms. **

**(Clears throat importantly) Here's the story!**

* * *

Edward's POV: 

The trees around me were a greenish blur as I drove down the road, frantically praying for time to freeze, only allowing me to continue my progress to my destination. The gray road kept a constant, forbidding presence; trees flickered by at an alarming rate. But I hardly spared consideration for my driving. My thoughts were focused on purely one thing. Bella.

We had gone on the hunting trip as planned. It was a disaster from the beginning. The whole point was so I could clear my head, try to sort things out. To relax. It, naturally, had the opposite effect.

I spent my entire time agonizing over Bella. _Would she be alright? What caused her strange reaction? What did she feel about me? _And most concerning of all:_ Was she safe?_

Thoughts about the girl who had managed to change my existence within the space of a few days swirled in my head, not allowing me to think of anything else. I was jumpy and distracted the entire time. It drove Emmett crazy, which would have been amusing in any other circumstance. But, as it was…

I could still remember Alice's vision in precise detail, every last, terrifying piece of it.

_Bella was running, her hair falling down her back in a wet mess of tangles. A man caught up with her, shoving her to the ground, then dragged her into a secluded alcove. She screamed and kicked, her face panic-stricken. The man held her arms with bruising force, and she kicked him wildly. He struck her, his face twisted in a savage grin of pleasure, of triumph. He ripped at her clothing, and she struggled wildly, frantically fighting against someone she could not beat…_

So now I was here, driving to the Airport where Alice had told me this was occurring, going 150 plus on a seventy-five miles per hour road. But I had hardly spared the speed limit a thought. I was silently praying, begging whatever higher power there was that I could get there faster, that I would be able to save my angel….

Even now, I was murderously angry. _How dare he attack her! How dare he…_ I couldn't even bring myself to finish the thought.

I had already devised exactly what I would do to him. I would make him suffer. Make him scream and writhe in pain. He would regret what he had done, or tried to do, for the rest of his miserable life. However short that would imminently be.

Because I would kill him. After he had suffered, after he was sorry, I would rip his pathetic throat out. Maybe I would lose myself to the scent of his blood. I hadn't drunken human blood in a very long time. Maybe I would be able to resist, but I found that I doubted it. But I wouldn't mind sucking him dry for his crimes. I wouldn't even feel guilty…

Part of myself was faintly surprised at my murderous, violent thoughts. Part of me was asking what had happened to my calm, rationale side. But I ignored that part.

It seemed like an eternity since I had stopped in the middle of the forest, seeing Alice's vision. And it seemed it would be an eternity more before I got to the airport, desperately praying that the vision had not occurred, that I would be able to save Bella…

My Volvo finally slid into the deserted airport parking lot, at a speed that would get me arrested for driving under the influence if caught. I pulled the keys out of the ignition and jumped out of the car, almost before it had stopped moving. There were some rather impressive skid marks covering the asphalt from my dramatic entry, but I hardly spared them a thought.

It was raining heavily, but I ignored the icy wetness, intent upon finding their scent, saving Bella. I ran across the lot at an inhuman speed, my mind in overdrive. If my heart had still been beating, it would probably be racing so quickly that I would have had a heart attack.

I caught a strong whiff of a putrid, unfamiliar scent, mixed in with the sweet, delicate one of my angel. Racing in the direction of the dark alley behind the building, I frantically prayed I wasn't to late…

I skidded to a stop at the entrance of the alleyway, despairing at the sight that met me there.

He was there, a few bruises over his face; straightening his clothing out, appearing horribly triumphant.

I wanted to kill him in the most excruciatingly painful way possible.

And there was Bella. Her prone form laying on the dirty ground, her beautiful eyes only half open. Her clothes were in shreds revealing multiple bruises and scrapes, her drenched hair obscuring her face and part of her body. She struggled weakly to sit up, gasping in pain.

I inhaled sharply at the sight of her horrendous injuries. His and Bella's eyes immediately snapped to mine, looking surprised and fearful.

I was too late…

But I could still make him pay. And he would pay, dearly…

Bella's face was surprised, and hopeful. But then I noticed another thing.

Warm blood seeped out her nose and mouth. Blood stains seeped through her shredded blouse. I backed away from her hastily, my eyes darkening immediately.

Her blood smelled unbelievably appetizing, mouthwatering. Sweet, but not overly so, faintly scented like freesia. I was an inch from losing control, from ending the life of the person I had come here to save.

Holding my breath, I forced myself to do one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.

I backed away from my angel.

Her face showed the pain of comprehension as she saw me retreating away from her, an expression of what I'm certain was disgust on my face. It broke my heart. And it made me even angrier.

I hated myself for leaving her when she needed me most, for abandoning her. Especially to_ him_. But if I didn't leave, I would lose control. And then I would _never _forgivemyself

I turned around, running back to my car, trying to clear my head; dreading what he could do to her. I hated myself for being so weak, despised myself.

Gasping, I yanked open the door of my car, almost pulling it off the hinges, frantically grabbing my cell phone. I dialed the number frantically, grinding my teeth as it rang.

Ringggg.

_I wanted to go back, to help my Bella…_

Ringggg.

_I wanted to rip him to shreds, to hold Bella, to comfort her…._

Ringggg.

_But I would kill her if I went back…_

Ringggg.

_I am a monster…._

"Edward? We followed you as soon as we heard." Carlisle's voice never sounded so worried. "We are about ten minutes away, five, if we go faster… Is Bella alright?"

"No! She's not alright. He got there already, and he's still there. But I can't protect her Carlisle. She's bleeding, I don't think I could control myself. So _he's_ still there with her, and I can't do a damn thing about it!"

Carlisle muttered something that sounded suspiciously like a profanity. "Stay there, don't go near her, even if her assaulter is still there. It's more important that she survives than that you protect her from something that already occurred. We're coming."

The phone went dead.

"Hurry." I whispered into it, knowing he wouldn't hear.

Roaring in fury, I smashed my hand into the window of my beloved car, trying to vent my anger and frustration.

The person who had hurt my angel so badly, and Bella, were less than one hundred yards away. And I couldn't do anything about it.

Despair and self hate rolled over me, and I slammed my fist on the trunk, denting the beautiful silver metal.

_Please, please hurry._

I was praying again.

I only hoped that God would listen to my prayers more than he had ten minutes ago.

* * *

Bella's POV: 

I vaguely registered pain as I opened my eyes halfway. I felt warm, sticky blood dripping down my face, along with icy droplets of rain. The sharp, rusty smell made my stomach churn; and I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from throwing up.

My face felt like someone had run over it with a bulldozer, my stomach was scraped raw from being dragged over the cement.

I gasped raggedly for breath, feeling as if my chest had caved in.

I felt like hell.

But far worse, was the feeling of complete disgust. I felt dirty, sick at myself.

I thought I was healing, I was putting my world back together again.

But it had been fragile. Like thin glass, or spun sugar.

And it had shattered so easily.

And I would be left the pick up the pieces. Again. And try to fit them back into place. But they wouldn't quite fit back together correctly, seamlessly.

They never did.

And each time when I went to piece back the mess that was my life, I got weaker.

I wondered if I had the strength to do it again, this time.

I stirred and attempted to sit up, inhaling sharply with the pain. It felt like my ribs had been shattered.

Steven was a dark shadow, looming over me, tugging back on his clothes. I froze with fear at the sight.

A sudden gasp to my side brought my attention immediately to the entrance of the alcove.

Edward.

He came.

He looked shocked, horrified, and angry. I allowed myself to hope, to relax. My angel was here.

But abruptly, he backed away, his expression twisting in disgust. His eyes seemed to darken into a deep onyx, and I flinched.

He hated me now.

Just like I knew he would.

Then he turned, and ran.

I felt warm tears gather, stinging my eyes, and cascading down my battered cheeks.

Despair, betrayal, misery seemed to cloud my vision.

_He left me…_

Steven knelt before me, chuckling slightly, his face distorted into a sneer.

And I felt a sudden wave of intense hate.

I had been so sad, for so long. I had let this person destroy my life. This person had killed me, at least on the inside.

And this time, I wouldn't crawl into a shell and let my misery completely overtake me.

A sudden surge of strength filled me. I let my hand wander to the side, feeling for something, anything, to defend myself with.

I felt my hand close over a sharp piece of scrap metal. The edges dug into my palm, drawing blood, but I was far past caring.

All I could see was Steven's face, his triumph. All I could think about was my anger, my desperation.

My breath hissed out between my clenched teeth. I felt my desperation solidify into an almost palpable presence of hate.

In one swift movement, I lashed out at Steven with all of my bottled hatred. The metal slashed through his exposed skin with disgustingly surprising ease.

Hot blood spurted into my face, drowning my world in red.

I heard Steven give a gurgled scream, and he collapsed half on top of me, and I pushed him off.

I gasped.

I long, deep line of red was imbedded into his throat, dripping blood.

I hadn't meant to aim for his throat.

That was when I realized he wasn't breathing.

I looked at the piece of metal in my hand in horror. Its wickedly sharp edge was covered in slick blood, slowly being washed away by the relentless downpour.

His blood dripped onto the ground, mixing with the rain. Red coated his face and shirt, and my own hands were covered with it.

Now, with all this blood, I didn't even feel the urge to be sick.

Because I had caused it. I had attacked him.

_I had killed him._

* * *

**Oooh. Twisted. Sorry about the detail, I guess it was kind of graphic. But I just felt it added realism to the scene. **

**Okay, smart alecks. This is the new language for this chapter:**

**Ty gul ny gothvos**

**Po ty desmygy fenten**

**Po ty bos connek**

**Fetha ty!**

**Haha. Try to figure **_**that **_**one out. You're good. But I'm better. And I **_**will**_** win in the end. I'm hoping to update soon, but things are chaotic at the moment, I'm certain you know the feeling.**

_**Seul Lune**_


	13. Chapter 13: Killer's Self Sentence

**Told you I'd try to update soon! Well, I'm in a good mood, but also a bad mood, because like five of you figured out the language. Some of you said Czech, and if you did, you were wrong. It was Cornish. But, modern-day Czech was partially derived from Cornwall, so I guess that's what caused the confusion.**

**You may have won the battle, people who figured out it was Cornish, but you haven't won the war. **_**Watch your back!!!!!**_

**I own a dog and a cat, but I don't own Twilight. My dog and my cat don't own Twilight either.**

* * *

Bella's POV: 

I could hardly remember how I had gotten here, standing by the ocean. I remember seeing Steve's dead body, blood pouring out from his slit jugular, adding a faint rosy tint to the puddles of rain. I could remember scrambling up, not thinking of anything more than the fact that I wanted to get away. I remember dropping the sharp metal that had helped me kill someone, and hearing it fall to the ground with a clatter.

And I could remember backing away from the corpse, the dead body I could hardly associate with the living person who once was Steven. I had run through the parking lot, through the still relentlessly poring rain. I almost walked into the wrong parking lot, forgetting I had left my car on the north side, not the east.

My car smelled so familiar. Peppermint, leather, tobacco. I remember smelling it for the first time, just a few weeks ago. That seemed like eternity past, a completely different lifetime.

I drove away on the back exit road, not having any clear idea where I was going. I think I drove for a while, westward, but I couldn't quite recall. All I knew is I didn't know where I was going, but I had to get away from where I was.

So now I was here, standing by the icy, tumultuous ocean; staring at its shady depths without truly seeing them.

It seemed as if my entire life had changed in an instant.

I had felt dirty, unclean after Steven had raped me again. I didn't know how I would face the world again, with even more filth to my life.

But now, standing here, contemplating my life, I felt no shame. No guilt. I didn't feel dirty, unworthy. I didn't feel the urge to run, to hide. Life had thrown a lot at me so far. And now life had succeeded in changing me.

I wasn't ashamed. I knew that if I met someone even now, I could look them in the eye and have no sense of guilt for not being as good as they seemed to be. I would have no remorse for what had happened to me. For the first time in three years, I wasn't afraid.

_And all it took was murdering someone to figure that out. _

In some sense, I felt strange, knowing that what I had seemed to live by for years suddenly seemed so irrelevant. I had based my life, my reactions, on my misfortune. I knew, somehow, I wouldn't any longer.

But was that a good thing? Now that I reflected back on my last few years, I felt that I had acted just short of pathetic. Running and hiding wouldn't solve any of my problems. I just hadn't realized that before.

Even in my previous state of caution, though, I had still had enough insight to the world to appreciate the rare beauty of it. Even though I had been scared, I still could look at the view, still appreciate the fleeting splendor.

Maybe it was something as simple as gazing at the wildly barren landscape of Phoenix, but I had felt joy at the sight. Now, as I stared numbly into the chilling waters, the wonderful view of the ocean, I felt nothing. Just as cold as the writhing water below me.

I wouldn't be afraid, or scared, or ashamed. I wouldn't feel the need to run and hide from my problems, my past. But was it worth it when it seemed I could no longer feel anything else?

Was it better, before I had killed someone? Living in deep shadows, but getting glimpses of radiant sunlight? Or was how I seemed to be now the superior option? Not dwelling in such darkness, but never seeing the loveliness of the light either.

I inhaled deeply, feeling the sharp salty wind sting my nose and eyes, rainwater dripping down my tangled hair. It felt like I was at the edge of the world.

I knew I would have to go back, eventually. I knew I would have to face Charlie, and homicide investigations. But I was confident I would be pardoned on charges of self defense. It would certainly cause a stir in the humdrum life of the town. The police chief's daughter getting raped then killing her assaulter.

But I couldn't bring myself to care.

It didn't matter to me, anymore, that people would be looking at me, staring. That I would be the very center of attention for a period of time. It didn't bother me that I would be treated differently, particularly at school. Even the thought would have terrified me an hour ago.

_Is it possible that I have changed so much in one short hour? Am I just in some kind of shock that will eventually wear off? Or will the rest of my life be like this?_

_Edward._

The name occurred to me after a while. My refusal of him, his absence. I had been so worried about it. It seemed I still should be. What would he think once he realized the girl who had turned him down was a killer?

I still cared about him. I still wanted to be with him. Before, all that was stopping me was my wall of shame and guilt. That wall seemed to have been bulldozed over as soon as I slit Steven's throat.

I could still remember the shock, the revulsion in his expression. His dark eyes had been stark against the paleness of his face, only highlighting his emotions further. When he backed away, I had felt heartbrokenly sad. And a little betrayed. It had seemed then, that the one last ray of light had fled my life entirely.

_But now?_

In a detached sort of way, I continued to want to have him care about me. But that emotion seemed buried beneath a barrier of numb practicality.

Is this what happened to all people when they killed someone? Did they become numb, isolated? Did what once seemed so vital in their life appear insignificant? And did this last forever? Would I go through my life, no longer fearing, but no longer living?

This new emotion was drastically different than how I had felt before, but hauntingly similar. I felt like I could throw myself in front of a moving train and have no fear. I felt like I could face Phil, like I could take on the world. I could handle the future, I knew.

But I still didn't live like anyone else. I still didn't look at the world in the same way so many other people did. I was still different.

I glanced down at my pale hands, still coated in blood. Murderer's hands.

I felt the sharp pain of my face and stomach, registered that I was still injured and bleeding. I'd had worse. Maybe.

I would have to go back, have to face the world. I wasn't scared of it. Even in the least. But I didn't relish the idea of returning, and living my life in the state I was in.

_Isn't this better, though? You aren't scared. You aren't ashamed. All the things that had been stopping you before._

_I'm not scared or ashamed, but I'm not anything else either. Not happy, not sad. Devoid. _

Devoid. Perhaps that described me. Devoid of the emotions that seemed to make us living. What was I then? A zombie? A zombie that also happened to be unafraid of her life and what the future would bring?

I looked at the ocean. Maybe I would have found the striking sight beautiful once. But not anymore.

_Maybe I'm just a bitter cynic. _

I looked at my surroundings thoughtfully, almost through new eyes. The shades of the trees didn't seem to be hiding any sinister presences, the darkness of the sky didn't seem to reflect my mood.

It was almost unnerving how much I had managed to change in such a short amount of time.

I could face the future, and anything the world chose to throw at me, but could I face myself?

I walked along the beach line, just out of reach of the icy waves, idly staring at the rocky sand. A flash of light caught my eye, and I leaned down, frowning as I searched for the source.

I hardly winced as I cut my hand on the sharp piece of glass I pulled out of the sand. Holding it in my palm, I stared at it with vague curiosity.

It was dirty and caked with sand, but appeared to be a slightly tinted green color. One of the edges was pointed and wickedly sharp, covered with a few drops of blood it had drawn from my hand.

An idea slowly occurred to me as I looked at the seemingly inconsequential piece of discarded trash.

I didn't want to return to the world, even if I could now face it. So much had happened I felt like a different person. Not the pathetic, trembling girl who jumped at her own shadows. But a girl who was unafraid, who could face anything. That girl may have been fearless, but she was also cold, in a way that could not be described. In a way that seemed to reach her very soul.

_I don't want to live like this. _

I realized that with startling clarity.

If only there was some way to start over new, to seem to have a new life in general. I would take that in an instant, without even thinking of the consequences. But did I want to take this new stranger that seemed to be myself?

_Not particularly. _

Was I prepared to actually take violent action on that fact?

_Definitely._

Smiling, if what my vague grimace was could be called a smile, I sat on the rocky ground.

Holding out my arm, I inspected it for a moment, it was covered in a motley collection of bruises and scrapes, but patches of my translucent skin could clearly be seen.

_Now, how would I do this?_

Taking a deep breath, I quickly slashed the inside of my wrist and elbow lengthwise, making the cut deep.

Dizzily, I did the same to my other arm, ensuring the slashes were on the vein.

Lying down, I looked at the sky. Rain was still falling, though it had eased up slightly. I could taste the fresh drops of ozone on my lips.

It wouldn't take long. I had already lost quite a bit of blood.

I felt myself growing weaker and weaker, the world around me seemed to dim perceptively.

Sighing softly, I closed my eyes, practically feeling my life draining out of my body along with my blood.

It was dark, and I was weak. But that was all right. Because I didn't want to move anyhow.

I was floating, peaceful. Far above the world, far away from my body that could still vaguely feel the ground beneath me, and the sharp pain of my injuries.

Sighing contentedly again, I let the friendly darkness gently lift me away.

* * *

**It was a kind of unexpected character twist, I know, but I was getting bored of Bella being scared and pathetic; relying on Edward and everyone else to save her.**

**So will Bella, die, will the Cullens come and change her, or will they arrive in time to get her to a hospital? Good questions. I'll tell you when I know the answer.**

**In the meantime, figure this one out: **

**Теб_е _ос_о_би д_і_йсно бут_и_ зд_а_тним до за цей**

**Ал_е _відр_а_зу я роб_и_ти анітрiшки сх_о_жий ви**

**д_о_ти, пізн_і_ше-**

_**Seul Lune**_


	14. Chapter 14: Soul of an Angel

**Ukrainian. It was Ukrainian. And somehow or another, six of you figured that out. (Ukraine is by Russia, by the way, so that's why some of you thought it was Russian) Well, just to punish you for trying to beat me, I wrote a chapter. But the punishment is how the chapter ends. To bad for you. Dun, dun dunnnnnnnnn………………..**

**Twilight is not mine. I do not own natural occurrences, such as twilight, dawn, dusk, eclipses, any or all phases of the moon including all waxing and waning crescents and gibbous. Neither to I own comets, meteors, or the Kuiper Belt past Neptune. Or Pluto, or Eires, or Cyrus. (I was going to make a joke about Uranus but I decided I have to stop acting like a fourth grader sometime or another)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Edward's POV: 

I heard sounds around me, a few distant footsteps, a roaring of an engine, but most predominantly the harsh pounding of the relentless rain. My thoughts were focused solely on Bella and Carlisle's arrival. Nothing else mattered at the moment.

I felt as if I could have wept in relief when I heard the gentle hum of Carlisle's car. The Mercedes came to a halt just by me, and Carlisle immediately jumped out, his expression laced with worry. Behind him appeared Alice and Emmett, Alice looking anxious and Emmett slightly confused.

"Where is she?" Carlisle's voice was strained.

"I'll show you." I stopped myself from breathing, and began to run, hearing my family's footsteps behind me. About fifty yards away from the alley, I stopped, trying not to breathe in the intoxicating scent of spilled blood.

"In the alley," I pointed towards the dark recess. Carlisle merely nodded turning, and disappearing in the icy downpour.

"It will be alright, Edward." I turned to glance at Alice's concerned face, not in the least reassured. When the clairvoyant was worried, then you should be worried. Sparing a look at Emmett, he still looked mildly puzzled, but also was smiling slightly.

"Who is this guy, anyhow? Because, it doesn't sound like he's a very nice person. Maybe I'll teach him some manners." He flexed his hands suggestively, smirking.

I smiled, a feral edge to my expression. "Oh, no. If he walks out of that alley alive, I get him first."

Alice suddenly inhaled sharply, her eyes glazed. Immediately, I reached out to see her vision.

_A bruised and bloody woman walked slowly down a beach, her dark hair plastered to her back. _

She turned, and I found that it was Bella, her expression distant.

_Her eyes seemed to be consumed with an unfamiliar emotion, her expression surprisingly serene. Leaning down, she picked up a sharp piece of green tinted glass, examining it dispassionately. She sat down, adjusting her grip on the glass. Taking a deep breath, in one sharp movement she dragged the glass across her fragile skin, slicing into a vein. A rush of blood poured out from the wound, and she smiled slightly. _

Gasping in alarm, I ran towards the alleyway, dreading what I would find. Alice and Emmett were close on my heels, Emmett more confused than before.

Skidding to a halt, I looked at the sight before me.

The man who had raped her lay back on the rough ground, his eyes not fully closed, his expression slightly surprised. There was a deep gash running across his throat, still slowly trickling blood.

I felt no thirst as the scent of his corpse washed over me. The blood was already cooling, adapting an unpleasant odor.

Carlisle stood in the middle of the carnage, holding a sharp piece of metal covered with blood.

"She killed him."

"I know. She's somewhere now, on a beach. She's going to commit suicide." My voice was frantic. Carlisle looked appalled, and he immediately started running towards the car.

"Where to, Alice? And how long?" I looked back at my sister once we were in the Mercedes, hoping she knew where it was.

"It will happen it about five to ten minutes. We might be able to get there in time." Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. "This isn't good." Her eyes snapped open, her expression anxious. "The beach she's on, it's part of the reservation."

I ground my teeth together angrily. At the moment, I didn't give a damn about the treaty.

"We can't not go because she happens to be on the mutts' land. She's _dying_!" My voice was angry and desperate.

"I know." Carlisle started the car, speeding down the road towards the beach. Minutes passed. Occasionally, Alice would mutter a direction to Carlisle, her voice muted.

Each second seemed to be going far to fast, each moment was strained. It was a race against time. And time was doing its best to win.

At last the car screeched to a halt on the roadside. I yanked open the door, almost pulling it off its hinges, and frantically searched for her scent.

The intoxicating smell of her blood hit me in a surging wave, almost knocking me over. She was bleeding, and heavily. I didn't even know if I could go near her.

Racing of in the direction of the scent, I scanned the beach frantically for any sign of life. Seeing footprints, I followed their trail, pleading with time to slow down.

Bella was about twenty yards away, lying on the ground in a lifeless position. Even from this distance, I could see her face was a waxy pale, her lips tinted blue from the cold. Her hair spread out behind her, her expression serene.

Blood trickled from the slashes in her arm, slowing considerably.

_No. I'm too late. I'm always too late._

Emmett and Alice skidded to a stop beside me, sand flying in their wake. Carlisle rushed past, kneeling down beside Bella's crumpled form.

Alice's face was guilty and tormented; Emmett's expression was shocked and anxious. Neither of them even knew Bella, not really. They cared because I cared.

"No. No, no, no, no, no. Why Bella?" My voice came out as an agonized whisper, seeming surprisingly loud through the torrents of rain. I felt Alice's small hand slip onto my shaking shoulder, trying to comfort me.

_Time had won._

* * *

**Finn. **

**The End.**

**SO SAD SO SAD SO SAD SO SAD SO SAD**

**SO SAD SO SAD SO SAD SO SAD SO SAD**

**SO SAD SO SAD SO SAD SO SAD SO SAD **

**SO SAD SO SAD SO SAD SO SAD SO SAD**

**SO SAD SO SAD SO SAD SO SAD SO SAD **

**Just kidding, guys. I'm evil aren't I?**

* * *

Carlisle straightened up, quickly heading back towards us. 

"She's not dead." I gasped in relief, surprised beyond belief. Carlisle continued, "Yet."

"What do you mean yet?"

"Edward, you went to medical school. She committed suicide; she's almost dead from blood loss. There is only one option left. And that decision has to be made quickly. She has a matter of minutes."

"No," I whispered, tormented by the thought I had to choose Bella's fate. It didn't seem right, changing her. She shouldn't be a monster, soulless. How could I have that on my conscience for the rest of my existence?

And yet…

I loved her. I loved her with more intensity than I had thought myself capable of. I wanted nothing more than to spend eternity with her. With my angel.

"She committed suicide, Carlisle. She didn't want to live, to face the world. Who are we to bring her back to it, changed?"

"Edward!" I turned to see Alice's eyes blazing. "Esme committed suicide too! And she's happy now, she's glad beyond belief that she has a second chance. Don't you even _consider_ going noble on Bella and letting her die because that's what she chose. Esme chose that too, but now she chooses to love. I am _not_ going to let you be depressed for the rest of your existence because you let the girl you loved die because of your high morals!"

I looked at Alice, slightly surprised at her angry outburst. Her usually playful eyes seemed to burn with a strange intensity, her expression was fierce.

Emmett looked worried to, but gave me a look that clearly conveyed, _God Edward, you're such a moron! Just change the girl already!_

"Edward, she has less than minutes left. You need to decide, and you need to decide now!"

Shaking my head, I looked at the ground, my mind reeling.

All my morals, all my beliefs, and all my selfish wants and desires were fighting with each other. I had never believed in changing people, I had always felt that they lost there soul.

_How could I take the soul of an angel?_

* * *

**Cliffhanger! Another one, that is. Don't you love me? (This is the punishment) **

**I don't have that much to say in this author's note, other than that I will definitely update soon. I just couldn't resist cutting it off there. Sorry. (Actually, I'm not sorry, but it just sounds better if I apologize.)**

**The language of the chapter is: **

**Consecant ouy!**

**amidrer si vey voltî nonnrece sovrin **

**divni croere, beaté **

**ene abidance**

_**Seul Lune**_


	15. Chapter 15: Death and Taxes

**I'm so, so, SO sorry about not updating when I said I would soon. My mom's been at me to finish my summer English Honors assignment and has threatened me with everything from my Dad and death. If I don't get my assignment finished in a few days, I'm not allowed on the computer. (Sobs) My mother was in rare form the past few days. **

**Besides that, I got shanghaied into helping run a Volleyball camp for ten-twelve year olds and have been busy with that. But hey, it counts as community service.**

**The language was Walloon. From Wallonia. It is a Romance language affected by it's proximity to France. **_**Walloon**_** though? It took me a while to **_**believe**_** there was such a thing. Of course, that didn't stop some of you irritatingly persistent people from getting it right.**

_**GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.**_

**Oh, well. Here's the chapter.**

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Bella's POV: 

I couldn't describe how I felt. There was darkness. But it wasn't darkness, because it was just… nothing. It was nothingness. Nothingness that beckoned to me. Nothingness that I had no strength to fight, even if I had wanted to. But it was different than the sweet, releasing darkness that I had first slipped into. It didn't bring the same sense of relief, of release. It didn't hold the same gentle comfort that I had found in the shadows that I had first slipped into. It was just…nothing.

I couldn't feel anything. Like I was disconnected with my body. Did I even have a body? It seemed like it had been ages, years, an eternity since I had slit my veins. It seemed like I had been to the edge of the world and back.

Vaguely I knew it couldn't have been more than a few minutes. But then I started wondering why I was still thinking about things like that if I was dead. Did you just not think about anything once you were gone? Could you? Did your spirit just fade into nothingness, so slowly and subtly you would never be aware of it? Until it was too late. But then, you wouldn't be anything either. So you wouldn't care.

Would you?

If you even had a spirit at all. Maybe all the sense of you just was extinguished as soon as your heart stopped beating. Maybe that was the true end.

I had never given a whole lot of thought what happened to you after death. I suppose I had never had a reason to think about it. Even in the depths of my worst depression, I had never felt the urge to take my own life. But I had. And so suddenly.

I hadn't thought it out. Hadn't planned anything. I hadn't said my goodbyes or written a last note. I hadn't treated everyone extra nice, because I knew I would never be there to treat them like anything ever again.

But then, maybe that was how people did it. The people who _truly_ wanted to kill themselves, who_ truly_ and undeniably wanted a release, didn't seem to really do those things. They didn't think about it, didn't plan anything. It just happened. Simply as if they had slipped off to sleep.

If sleep was what you could call this.

I saw no bright light. No fanfare of angels or shouts and screams of the damned. I didn't see my life replayed before my eyes or the ending of a long tunnel. People had always said "don't walk into the light". But how could I? There _wasn't _any light.

There was just nothing.

Indescribable, but shadowing nothingness.

But what was nothing, really? Was it a thought, and ideal? Did it even exist?

_Do all people see what I am seeing, or not seeing, when they die? _

Maybe everyone died the same way. They felt sweet blackness, then nothingness. I didn't know what else though, because I wasn't even sure I _was_ dead.

Or maybe everyone died in a different way. Maybe some people saw the bright lights at the end of the tunnel. Maybe some people saw their life replayed before their eyes.

But I didn't.

I felt an oddly disconnected pain. Which was strange, because I didn't remember having a body to feel pain from.

I didn't remember the sensation of breathing. Was I breathing now? I thought that I must be, because I wasn't dead. But maybe I was dead and I didn't know it. Maybe this was death. Would this just be the rest of what I knew for eternity?

How could you tell if you were dead, anyhow?

Pain.

It was an odd, nagging sensation. I tried to break it off, because it was just another bridge between me and the world. And I had wanted to leave the world.

Hadn't I?

I could hardly even recall making that decision.

More pain.

It was growing stronger now. But I couldn't tell where it was coming from, because I couldn't quite feel my body right. It felt as if I had left it. But if I left it, then I wouldn't be feeling any pain at all.

Now it was agony. Sharp agony that seemed to be dragging me back to the world. I felt air enter my mouth as I inhaled sharply. Air? What? I thought I had been dead. What had happened to the nothingness?

It was darkness again. Was it because my eyes were closed? Or perhaps my eyes really were open, and I didn't know it.

It was a fire. A fire slowly crawling through my body. A poison that gradually seeped through my veins, flowing through my partially abandoned body like magma. As the fire slowly spread, I could slowly feel my body again. The body I thought I had left.

_This isn't right…_

I could feel the sensation of air on my face, of my sharp intake of breath. I could slowly begin to feel my arms, my legs. I even began to hear again.

I thought I had been so far away from the world. But I had been brought back.

How?

All my philosophies and thought were ripped away by a wave of agony.

Fire. So hot. It burns, so very, very bad.

Why am I feeling anything? I thought I was dead.

Lava.

Magma.

Churning, ravenous fire that devoured me whole.

I could hear ragged pants and moans, and another, soothing voice.

Wailing. A high pitch screaming.

It hurt so badly.

Was I the one who was screaming in the first place?

Were my eyes still closed?

I think so. Everything was still black.

Maybe I was dead after all.

Maybe I was being punished….

But there was no space in my aching head to think. The knife ripping through me, flaying my flesh and seeping into my body wouldn't allow any thought.

Wouldn't allow anything but pain.

Needles. Knives. Flames. Pins. Brands. Whips. Daggers. Thorns.

The fire. The awful, horrible fire.

This was so very far away from the floating feeling I had before. I could feel now. I could feel everything touching me, every sensation.

But it was agony.

Agony in the darkness.

Screaming. Crying. Sobs.

Someone was pleading. Pleading and begging for it to stop.

I opened my eyes. I had almost forgotten how.

There was white above me. Not like a light, the bright light I was supposed to walk into.

Just white. Stark as if it had replaced the nothingness.

I screamed. This time, I was aware I was the one yelling, pleading.

Something cold was holding my hand. Something comforting, gentle yet firm.

I turned my head, but somehow, it was hard to see. To make out the details.

It was just a face. The face of an angel.

Then I was brought back to darkness.

Darkness slashed by flames.

The pain got worse. Each moment I begged and pleaded with whatever unseen power was doing this to me. Each moment I thought it surely could not get any worse. Any more agonizing. And each moment I was proven wrong.

My skull was shattering, so were my arms, then legs. The lava that had flowed through my veins was now entirely filling me up. Consuming me in such pain I couldn't think coherently. Such agony I thought that I would just explode.

Such torture I thought I surely must die from it.

_How much pain does it take to die? _

After a while, I stopped screaming. It hurt too much to scream. It hurt too much to do anything.

I would still whimper though, once in a while. Still beg for the pain to go away, for the punishment to be over.

I think I asked what I had done to deserve this. And I heard a soft, soothing sound, like someone was trying to comfort me. But I was too far gone. Nothing could comfort me.

I thought I could not have described the nothingness. But _nothing _could ever come close to describing this.

I was barely aware that the pain was slowly abating.

Gradually, the ache that had filled me seeped out of me.

How long had it been? In some ways it seemed like just a moment. But it other ways, it seemed like an eternity.

My muscles slowly relaxed. The poison slowly fled my body, as slowly and almost as painfully as it had entered. I had no sense of where I was. Who I was with, how long it had been.

I wasn't even entirely sure whether I was dead or alive.

It took me a while to realize that the agony was gone. I felt different, somehow. More aware. But my eyes were closed, and for the moment, I didn't want to open them.

Slowly, I realized that I could hear the sound of another person's breathing. It was windy, outside. And raining. If I even was inside. But I must be. Because I could feel no wetness.

I hadn't realized I was holding my breath. Exhaling, I then inhaled, relishing the fresh scent of the air.

Breathing. There was another person breathing.

Slowly, I opened my eyes.

I was staring at the whiteness again. But this time, it wasn't blurry. It was sharp, precise. As if someone had expanded the image on a computer.

I turned my head. Towards the sound of the breathing.

His face was happy, sad, regretful, worried. All at the same time. All so easily shown in his lovely topaz eyes.

For the moment, I didn't care where I was or how I had gotten here.

All I cared about was him.

"Bella." He exhaled, his breath intoxicatingly sweet.

I looked at him for a moment, taking in every detail on his perfect face.

"Edward."

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**Okay. So you waited days for my update then it comes out and it is just a set up chapter. Descriptive, essential, but not the most action. **

**Next chapter will be better. And it **_**will**_** come out sooner.**

**I don't have a language for you this time; though I will next chapter. This time I have a highly random **_**VOTE**_** that some of you will think is strange and possibly stupid. But, I wanted to know anyhow….**

**Voting Topic: Okay, so my Aunt is having a baby girl, and she's arguing with her husband about the name. She dragged me into it, because usually I support her just because I love her like that, but this time I wasn't sure. I mean, it's a **_**name.**_

**But, whatever.**

**So, here are the names I want you to vote on. Just tell me in your review which one you like better, because I'm curious.**

**1. Michaela. (Pronounced Ma-kay-lah)**

**2. Alyse. (Pronounced Ah-leese or Uh-leese) (leese sounding the same as lease)**

**So tell me wonderful people, and the next chapter will be here soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **

**_Seul Lune_**


	16. Chapter 16: Complications

Bella's POV:

I was confused. Very, very confused. What happened to the pain? The nothingness?

I glanced around the room. It was painted a calming shade of blue, the furniture was dark with a reddish varnish, and it had huge windows overlooking a large lawn. I realized I was lying on a bed; it was soft, with filmy blue and white sheets. Frowning slightly, I strained to remember how I had gotten here, why I wasn't dead.

Unless I was…

"Am I dead?" My voice sounded different, but I didn't pay attention to it, focusing only on Edward and his beautifully comforting face. I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard another voice behind me.

"Yep! You are dead, Bella. I mean, kind of. You technically_ are_ dead, because your heart stopped, but you aren't _dead_ dead."

I turned around, startled by the voice almost as much as by the speech it made. A small, pixie-like girl was sitting on the other side of the bed, her legs curled gracefully under her. I recognized her as Alice, Edward's sister, but I couldn't remember ever actually speaking to her.

Beside her was Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

"Could you confuse her more, Alice?" Edward's voice behind me was exasperated, but had an edge to it hinting at an emotion I was unaware of. Alice smiled, not in the least bit annoyed at Edward's blunt speech.

"I could," Alice's laugh was like bell chimes. "But I won't."

This whole dialogue was making me even more aware of the fact that I didn't know where I was, I didn't know how I had got there, and I didn't know whether I was dead or not. According to Alice, I was _technically dead_, but I've never heard death described like that before.

"What do you mean, I'm technically dead? I'm either dead or alive." I cut through their conversation. "Right?"

"Bella, we need to explain some things, and you may find it hard to believe me; but please just listen." Carlisle's voice was soothing. I frowned and swung my legs over the edge of the bed, feeling uncomfortable lying down. I vaguely registered the fact that I was wearing unfamiliar clothes, but I was more concerned about Carlisle's explanation.

"We came to the airport, and found Steven's body." I flinched, looking down. "We then went to the beach, where you committed suicide. You had lost blood previously, and it was too late to take you to the hospital. You would have died before we were even halfway there. So we were left only one choice. We changed you. Into what we are."

"What are you?"

"Vampires."

I stared at him uncomprehendingly. I had gone from disturbed juvenile, to _really_ disturbed juvenile, to seventeen year old murderer, to supposedly dead within the space of a week. I felt no disbelief of him. I just didn't have it in me at the moment. Vaguely, I registered the fact that I had known they were keeping a secret; and that this was obviously the answer.

No disbelief. No shock. Just numb incomprehension.

"You're vampires. And now, I'm one too." They were statements, but also questions. "There goes the family secret."

Alice and Carlisle stared at me in shock. Edward circled around, his face also surprised.

"You believe us?"

"Oh, you expected me not to. I'm kind of past the point of disbelief, at the moment. Give me an hour or so to get over it, then I'll think you're raving lunatics." I couldn't help but smile at the sound of Alice's laugh. Even Carlisle was smiling, but Edward just looked troubled.

"You believe us, and you don't mind?" Edward's brow furrowed. "There are things about this…existence that aren't so pleasant. Your life can never be the same again. Nothing can be the same again."

"If I wanted it to be the same again, I wouldn't have committed suicide." My tone was flat. Everyone in the room stilled, scrutinizing me. "And what are the unpleasant parts?"

"For one, you'll live forever. And you won't age." Edward answered me, staring at me with his butterscotch eyes

I looked at him in askance. "You call that _unpleasant_?"

Alice laughed again, smiling happily. "Edward does. Of course, Edward finds lots of things unpleasant." Edward glared at her, narrowing his eyes; but his sister loftily ignored him.

"We have to move place to place every few years. We can never stay too long, and we can't risk familiarity with anyone." Edward looked determined to find something to make me feel bad about being s vampire. For some reason.

I studied him, trying to figure out his motives. "I don't really mind. I never associated with anyone anyhow."

"And we drink blood." Edward interrupted me almost before I could finish my statement. I stared at him, feeling empty. I shouldn't be surprised. I mean, _vampires drink blood._ That's just how it is.

Memories flashed through my mind. _Blood, dripping over a body, falling to the ground. My hands coated in the red, holding a piece of metal that faintly gleamed._ But the images were fuzzy, hazy, as if I couldn't recall them right.

The silence began to grow uncomfortable, as I stared at nothing for a while. "Bella, we don't drink human blood, if that's what you're worried about. We drink animal blood. That's why our eyes are like they are." Alice's voice was comforting, but she sounded faintly sad, as if she was regretful.

I glanced at both hers and Edward's eyes, both golden. Looking up, I winced as I saw Carlisle's irises a vivid scarlet. "I had to drink your blood in order to change you. They will change back in time." His voice was reassuring.

"I can live with that. I wasn't a vegetarian or anything before." My voice was calm, but slightly less confident. Blood just bothered me. I turned to Alice, "What do you mean I'm technically dead?" How many timed had I asked that?

"Your heart is not beating, therefore, you aren't alive. But clearly, you can talk and feel like a living human. You don't have a life anymore, exactly. You have an existence. You remember the pain?" I nodded, wondering how I could forget. "Everyone transforming into a vampire experiences that. It was the venom flowing through your body. In the end, it stopped your heart."

I frowned. The incomprehension was beginning to wear off, leaving plenty of room for worried emotions and thoughts.

"Where am I? How long have I been here?" I paused, new thoughts occurring to me. "What about Charlie? He doesn't know where I am, he'll be really worried…" My voice dwindled off at the serious and sad expressions on everyone's faces.

"As Edward told you Bella, your life, or existence, is never going to be the same again. We drink from animals, but it isn't our natural food source. Newborn vampires such as yourself have little to no control." I stared at him, trying to grasp what he meant by control. "If a human walked anywhere near you right now, you would be able to smell their blood. And you would not be able to resist. You would kill that person, and have no control to stop yourself." Carlisle's voice was heavy.

"It takes years for a vampire to get control enough to be around humans at all. And some humans will smell different, more appetizing. That's what happened to me with you." I vaguely remembered Edward glaring at me, staying as far away as possible.

"I remember. Sort of."

"You will begin to lose your human memories, too." Edward's expression looked depressed, guilty.

But I wasn't concerned about that. "But, if I can't control myself around humans, then Charlie…" My voice dwindled off into nothing.

Alice had looked away, so had Edward. Carlisle studied me sadly. "You won't be able to se him again for a very long time. And you will not have aged, as you should have. You may never be able to see him again at all."

I felt strange. Charlie had cared about me, had wanted me to be happy.

But now I had something I had never had with him, not really. I had a second chance. I felt ashamed as I thought about that, so easily discarding him. I felt melancholy, and disgusted with myself. But I could hardly bring myself to remember him very clearly.

"I knew I shouldn't have done it." I turned at Edward's voice. He was holding his hand to his face, obscuring his expression from my view. "I should never have let Carlisle change you. It was wrong. You committed suicide, then we drag you back. And like _this,_ too."

I stared at him for a moment. He was guilty? And what did he mean by saying "like _this _too?"

"You shouldn't feel guilty. Because I'm not. I get a second chance. And that's worth a lot more than some… complications." Edward removed his hand, staring at me. Alice laughed, rising gracefully from the chair.

"Told you so, Edward!" I smiled, turning towards me. "I'll see you in a while, Bella. I need to go tell everyone you're awake." She disappeared from the room, not glancing back.

"I'm not certain you wish to hear this now, after everything that's happened. But we have a few more complications than you are aware of." Carlisle's voice was somber. "As far as almost everyone is concerned, you have been missing for three and a half days, and no one knows where you are. Usually, we would have faked your death. But we wanted to ask you, about Charlie. We thought he would be devastated if he learned you had died, but you can't just go back. So you can make a choice. We can fake your death, or you can send him a message saying you have moved away. Whichever one you feel would cause him less pain."

_And he would be in pain. He had lost so much, and now he has lost his daughter. _

"Also, we have a treaty with the werewolves on the reservation." I choked at the word. How many mythical beasts could there honestly _be _out there? "That treaty is broken, severely actually. We went on to their land when we went to find you; which we are strictly not allowed to do. And we changed you, which violated the treaty as well. But, to make things worse, we changed you _on _the reservation. The treaty is broken, meaning the werewolves could attack if they wished to. We are not certain what will happen yet, but we have to move, and very soon. You must make your decision quickly.' Carlisle smiled, trying to lessen the strain. "Things will be all right." His voice was reassuring, calming.

"I'll leave you now. You have a lot to think about, and I'm sure you'd like to clean up."

I watched him as he left, and heard Edward standing up beside me. Looking back at him, I realized he was scrutinizing me intensely.

"You shouldn't feel guilty." My voice came out of nowhere. Edward smiled, but it was only a half smile; as if he was half unsure whether he believed me or not. "_Don't_ feel guilty."

This time, Edward smiled genuinely, seeming to brighten the room. "I'll do my best." I laughed at his tone, trying not to think about Carlisle's announcement. "The rest of the family will want to meet you, and unless you want Alice to come up and dress you because she thinks you're taking too long, I would hurry. There are clothes in the closet, by the way. She already went shopping" He rolled his eyes.

"She wouldn't do that, would she?" He just stared at me, amused. "She would?" Edward smirked. "Then get out! I don't want your sister coming up and helping me dress, thanks anyways."

"Okay, okay. I'm leaving." I felt my heart sink a little. What had I been expecting him to say? _No, I refuse to leave?_ A sudden feeling of uncertainty swept through me. I had almost forgotten my refusal of him, hurting him. Did he still care?

I looked at his smiling face, hoping desperately that he did.

Edward started walking out of the room, leaving me to my thoughts. He paused at the doorway, his back still turned away from me.

"You're different than you were before." His tone was calm, neutral, giving off nothing of his actually feelings.

Was it a good thing I'd changed? Did he still like me now that I had?

There was silence for a moment before I answered; my tone was almost just as serene, just as composed. "Yes. People change."

My words hung in the air for a moment. Edward turned towards me, his eyes enigmatic. "Yes, I suppose they do."

Without another word, he disappeared out the room, gently closing the door behind him.

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**Sorry, no funny notes, no language, no anything. I'm leaving for the evening, my mom's breathing down my neck for me to get off. Language next chapter, also voting results. Nothing else to say. Next chapter up soon. Hope you enjoyed this one. Bye. **


	17. Chapter 17: Plans and Meetings

**You should just listen to the last few days I've had, it's almost comical. First, my dear sister lost her cat, so I spent half the day looking for him, making lost pet flyers because she **_**insisted **_**I had to. Then, five hours later, we found the cat shut in a closet.**

**Later, my mom had me go out and **_**pick cherries**_**. Then, she had me hand pit them. You will never know they joy of **_**pitting**_** cherries until you experience it. Then, yesterday, I went to a Renaissance festival where I spent the day working a refreshments stand being called **_**wench.**_** Have **_**you **_**ever been called a **_**wench**_** by a stranger? Another one of those things you just have to experience to understand.**

**Then, for all of you whom it may concern, one of my stories got mysteriously deleted. It was there, then it was gone. **_**Poof**_**. So now, I have to go see if my backup files survived my computer crash, or if the story is permanently lost.**

**(Takes a deep breath) Okay, I'm done with my rant. On to the late in coming chapter. **

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Bella's POV:

It was amazing, the difference from being a vampire and a human. Surrealistic, almost. I could simply sit in the room I had transformed in, and listen. It was soothing, almost; hearing the rest of the Cullens going about their daily lives. And somehow, I felt separated from them.

Meeting the rest of the family had gone as well, under the circumstances I suppose. Esme seemed truly thrilled that I was joining their family, though took it more calmly than Alice. Jasper and Emmett were okay, though I hardly knew them. Rosalie stayed quiet through the entire meeting, but I could sense a simmering anger underneath her forcedly calm demeanor. All of them, except perhaps Emmett, seemed surprised at how well I was accepting the fact I was now part of the ranks of the living dead.

They had explained all the technicals about vampirism. No crying, no sleeping, special powers, etcetera. It seemed almost humorous how real vampires differed from the ones found in the classic novels and legends.

Now I was alone again, trying to figure out the situation.

My mind kept wandering away from the problems at hand, it was virtually impossible to focus. It seemed strange I wasn't more perturbed by the situation. But I seemed to have stepped into a relative state of calm, accepting what I was because I couldn't change it.

_Charlie._

My mind would stumble across him occasionally in the long hours I simply sat, staring into the distance. It was odd, almost disturbing, how little I could remember of him. I could see his face, his crinkly smile; I could remember how much he cared about me and I him. But every memory seemed vague and clouded, as if it was veiled. It was almost incomprehensible that I could hardly remember my own father.

It would kill him if he thought I had died. I was virtually all he had left in a world that had not been kind to him. He would have to live with the knowledge that he was alone, and there was no chance he could ever see me again. It seemed like it would be better to make him believe I had just left.

But by the time I had mastered control enough so that I wouldn't murder him, I wouldn't be able to visit. I would not have aged, would not have really changed at all. I would never get to have a conversation with him, never get hug him. But he would at least know that I still lived. That he wasn't completely alone…..

_But he will have thought I abandoned him._

I realized this after a while. I couldn't visit him, couldn't contact him past maybe sending letters. He would question why I never came to see him, would start to believe I didn't care, that I had abandoned him. And that would likely be far more painful than him believing I had died.

_He would know that he was alone, but at least he wouldn't think he as alone because his daughter left him._

My decision came to me then. I would have to die.

Sighing, I laid back on the comfortable bed, pondering my past and future. My life had changed so quickly, so radically that it almost made my head spin. It seemed almost ludicrous that just a week and a half ago, I was trying to work up the courage to go to school. Now I was an undead, bloodsucking immortal who was going to fake her own death.

And then there were the werewolves. At this very moment, Carlisle was at the hospital, handing in his resignation. He had felt it was best that we relocate for a while. A long while. I didn't know where we were going, or even if it would be on the same continent, but at the moment I just felt devoid of curiosity. None of the others were worried about where we were moving to, or when we'd be back. They had done this so many times, it was simply routine.

It seemed strange to believe that both vampires and werewolves existed in this world that had seemed utterly empty of the mysterious or paranormal. Even stranger was thinking about the fact that vampires had a treaty with the werewolves. _Had _being the key word.

I felt guilty. If I hadn't committed suicide, they would never had entered La Push territory or bitten me. The treaty would still be standing, and they would not have to be moving. Maybe that was why Rosalie didn't seem to like me.

I immediately sat up when I heard my door swing open. Not in the least bit surprised to see Alice standing silhouetted against the doorway, I smiled. She was already my friend, already accepting me as a sister.

"How are you?" Her voice was casual, and I realized she must have had a vision about how I was; seeing as she appeared completely unconcerned.

"As if you don't already know." I stood up, stretching my stiff muscles. "How are we going to fake my death?"

Her face showed no astonishment at my choice, only a hint of understanding. "We've done this before, Bella. It isn't a big deal. Your circumstances are a little bit different though." Her voice was reassuring. "The authorities have found Steven's body, and your blood at the scene. They are assuming that you killed him, but believe it was in self defense, based on the forensics. They found your truck also, and you have a missing persons report."

"Usually, we might have faked a car crash; because it's common and then there's no questions about the body. But your car was found, and by the beach; so it's not an option. I was thinking that we would pretend you drowned."

I stared at her, my mouth slightly agape. "They would have to find my body, Alice." I reminded her. She just stared at me, a slight curl to her lips. "I would have to pretend I was dead." Her lips twitched again. "_Why_ do you find this _funny_?"

"It's just, your going to pretend you're dead. It's kind of funny, isn't it?" I kept staring at her. _Funny_ was _not_ the word I would have used. "I don't have any alternatives. You drowning would make sense, and Carlisle could do the autopsy. All you would have to do is lay still until you get to the hospital; then Carlisle can smuggle you out."

"What about the funeral, and a coffin?"

Alice's face sobered slightly. "Carlisle can recommend a closed casket funeral." I grimaced. I didn't particularly want Charlie to be told it should be a closed casket funeral, he would make his own assumptions that my body was so decomposed it would be ghastly.

"This is kind of, I don't know Alice, weird. And I can't act."

"One of the family members can be the one to find you. We'll call the paramedics, they'll show up and take your pulse. Seeing as you don't have one, you will be declared dead on the spot, and they'll take you to the morgue. All you have to do is lie still and not move." She looked amused again. _What_ was with her sense of humor? "We'll have to make this quick, Bella; we're leaving as soon as we can and Carlisle needs to be the one to do the autopsy. Anyways, I've Seen it. It will be fine."

"This gives a whole new meaning to playing dead." Alice's laugh echoed through the room at my comment, and she seized my wrist, dragging me out the door.

"It isn't the most conventional plan I've come up with, but it's quick. There's just a few details to sort out. As soon as the funeral is set and confirmed, we'll be leaving." My stomach seemed to lurch at her casual talk of my own funeral. I felt a surge of guilt for how Charlie would feel, getting the news that his only daughter had drowned. Alice caught my expression and looked at me comfortingly. "It's hard Bella. But it's necessary." I nodded mutely, not trusting myself to speak.

We entered the living room, and Alice told me to sit, saying she'd be back in a moment. Watching her retreating back as she swept around the corner, I felt guilt overcome me again.

A light knock brought my attention to the present, and I glanced up to see Esme entering the room, smiling.

"It's nice to see you up Bella. What have you been doing?" Her gentle voice was kind, soothing.

But it wasn't enough to completely calm me. "Arranging fatality plans."

Esme's face fell slightly, and she looked like she would have been crying, if she could have. "It's hard, Bella, I know. Leaving what you have known, who you have known. Feeling guilty, thinking about whether people will be sad, whether they will come to the funeral."

I squirmed slightly, vaguely uncomfortable that she was able to see through my emotions so easily. "I just feel bad. About committing suicide. It's caused so much trouble, it might have just been better if I had never come to Forks."

It was silent for a moment, Esme surveying me through her warm eyes. "I committed suicide too, Bella." I stared at her in shock. I already thought of her as the kindest, the gentlest vampire I had met so far. It seemed incomprehensible that this loving woman could have ever wished to take her own life.

"Yes," She said, reading my expression. "It was a long time ago. Life seemed to have turned against me; it took all the joys with it. I had a baby, and he was the only thing I loved; the only reason I kept living. When he died, I felt I had nothing. The world was just cold, and I didn't want to face it, didn't want to live in it anymore. So I decided to kill myself. Carlisle found me, he remembered me from years before and saved me. I was sad and guilty then, but I haven't once regretted what I did. Because, I was given a second chance; with a man I loved. I'd died for that second chance." She was quiet for a moment, her beautiful face poignant. "I wouldn't take it back, either. I only just really met you Bella, but I feel connected to you; if only because we came into this existence by the same kind of act. It will be hard, but I can only hope you will find the happiness I have."

I stared at her for a moment, feeling the full impact of her words. "Thank you," I whispered finally, grateful that she had understood. Abruptly, she leaned over and pulled me into a hug, her eyes gentle and sympathetic.

A second later, Alice came bounding into the room; her pixie-ish face looking suspiciously smug. "We saved your old clothes, Bella; you'll have to wear them. And also, I can go over to your house and pick up a few small things, as long as they won't be missed. Is there anything you want?"

I thought about it for a moment, _Was their anything I wanted to bring from my old life?_ "Yes, there's a photo album, in my closet. It had pictures of me and my family. I'd like it if you could get that." Alice smiled, dropping the tattered clothes next to me.

"We'll plan on finding you this evening, everything's set up." The power of her visions struck me, I realized she had known exactly what my answer would be and already had everything set up.

I opened my mouth to reply, but stopped short as I heard the front door swing open and Carlisle's voice echo through the house.

"We need to have a meeting, _now_." I glanced at Alice's surprised expression and rushed into the entryway.

Carlisle stood in the middle, his blond hair tousled, a troubled expression on his face. Emmett and Jasper abruptly appeared in the room, their clothing ripped from their half finished wrestling match. Rosalie walked down the stairs, her golden hair breezing behind her, and Edward appeared behind her, his flawless face troubled.

_Of course, with his power, he probably already knows what it is. _I had to remind myself about Edward's ability to read minds.

"I was contacted by Billy Black. He told me they are calling a meeting, they wish to talk to us. The werewolves have found out we have broken the treaty."

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**Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnnnnnnnn…………….**

**Here is the results of the name vote:**

**Michaela: 26 votes.**

**Alyse: 33 votes.**

**Thank you to all who answered my irrelevant, slightly strange question! **

**And now, for the language of the chapter: **

_**Hei**__**pitkä **__**ajoittaa en käydä vieraissa**_

_**minä**__** toivoa nautiskella sellainen kertomus**_

_**saakka**__** myöhemmin,**_

_**Seul Lune**_

**Also, I found this really cool psychology book that gives you these tests and questions, and I thought it was really interesting. So I'm going to ask you a question, give me your answer, and I'll tell you what the symbolism of that answer is next chapter.**

**Question: Imagine you are in a completely white room. It has no windows or doors, only walls, a ceiling, and a floor. (**_**Do not write to me and ask how you got into the room, that isn't the point**_**). There is no one in the room besides you, the room is not small, but it is not large. The walls, ceiling and floor are white. What are three feelings or descriptions that you have about this room?**

**Review and tell me your answers for the language and the psych question!!!!**

_**Until then, **_

_**Seul Lune. **_


	18. Chapter 18: Play Dead

**Bella's POV:**

"They know?" Alice's voice wasn't surprised, but held a faint edge of, almost, _annoyance_.

"Yes. And they have called a meeting. No violence, they wish to talk."

Emmett snorted, rolling his eyes. "No violence? Do you honestly believe that?"

Carlisle's voice was delicate. "It would be in their best interest to keep physical confrontation at a minimum. We outnumber them, and many of the pack are young werewolves with little experience. I do not believe they would risk an open battle."

"I can't See werewolves, so we won't know what they're planning." Alice's usually lilting voice was somber.

"When will the meeting be?" Esme was calm, showing none of the anxiety she was surely feeling.

"Two days' time. I have explained the situation with Bella," Carlisle spared me a quick glance, "and they agree it would be less complicated if she had already pretended to die."

Hearing the words coming out of his mouth, I felt strange. I _really was_ going to go fake my death, completely leave my past behind. But there was no other choice.

"Then the plans for tonight are still on?" Along with Jasper's voice came a sudden wave of calm.

Alice nodded, her dark hair ruffled. "Yes, and it should go fine. I haven't seen any complications." She paused, looking back at me. "You will have to change back into your old clothes; we'll go to a part of the beach that isn't on the Reservation territory. Jasper will be the one who will "find" you, and he'll call the ambulance; but _tragically_ they will be too late." I smiled slightly, glad at her capability to make a joke at a time like this one. "He'll be able to smooth over the emotions of the people who find you, which is why he's the one going. The salt water will blur the scents, and with Jasper their making sure you're calm and if you don't breathe, you should be able to resist the smell of the human blood. They'll bring you to the morgue, where Carlisle will perform the autopsy. They already have coffins there, he'll put weight in the one you are supposedly in, then smuggle you out of the hospital."

I nodded mutely, feeling I couldn't give a good response to her speech. "When are we leaving Forks?"

"As soon as the conference with the werewolves is over." Carlisle's voice was assertive. "Everyone needs to be ready. And, if anyone asks, we're moving to Los Angeles." I smiled, that was one of the last places we would go.

I retreated back to my room, pondering my thoughts. In a few hours, I was going to fake my own death. In a few days, I and my new family were going to have a meeting with werewolves, and after that we were skipping town.

Lying down on the bed, I stared at the ceiling, my mind reeling.

_How is it that so much has changed so quickly?_

Edward's voice came back to me. "_You're different than you were before."_

_How is it that __**I've**__ changed so quickly? _

I didn't know how long I was lying there before I heard Alice calling me, her voice no louder than as if I was in the same room as her. Sighing, I rose from the bed, following her summons down the hall to the room we were in before.

She was sitting cross legged on a couch, her eyes overly bright. "It's time to go; you'll need to change first, though." She tossed me my worn clothes, and I retreated to my room to put them on.

Glancing at them, I couldn't help but be swamped with memories. The last time I had worn these; I committed murder, and then committed suicide. The last time I had worn these, I had been a human.

It was almost physically painful, pulling them on. Walking back into the entryway of the house where the rest of the family was gathered, except Carlisle who was already at the hospital, I knew I would have been absolutely bawling if I could have.

The car ride to the beach with Jasper was slightly uncomfortable at first. I really didn't know him at all, or know what he thought of me. He seemed pleasant enough, and Alice obviously more than liked him, but I didn't really know him.

"Stop feeling guilty, Bella. And nervous. It's giving me a headache." His voice was soft, smooth; and a sudden wave of serenity enveloped me. I chanced a look at him to see he was smiling at me, and I grinned in reply.

"Sorry, Jasper." I said apologetically, momentarily forgetting his power.

"You still feel guilty, Bella." He scrutinized my face, hardly even paying attention to the road we were speeding down much too fast. "You shouldn't. Yes, you have brought some…. complications with you, but that is nothing compared to the overall outcome."

I stared at him for a moment, confused. He sighed, turning back towards the road. "Edward. He loves you, Bella. He's been alone for a very, very long time. It's nice to see him being… cheerful. Not masochistic, at the very least." I smiled slightly, realizing it was well within Edward's nature to torture himself. "He really does care about you, Bella. I know." He smiled and lightly tapped his head.

I diverted my gaze, thinking. I hadn't been sure about Edward liking me. We had that strange conversation, when I had just woken up. I had changed, but I didn't know whether he liked that change or not….

"Bella! Stop worrying. Everything is going to go fine, Alice has Seen it. As long as you can lay still and not move for a while, everyone will think your dead. You have the coloring of someone who has drowned." He chuckled slightly, sending more waves of calm out. "And Edward really does care. You don't realize what he was like before he met you. Stop worrying; Alice will not appreciate it if you give me a migraine."

I laughed. "Can vampires even _get_ migraines?" Jasper just shrugged, smiling as well. It was hard not to like him, not to feel at ease around him. As long as he wanted you too, that is.

"We're here." The car rolled to a stop, halting neatly in a parking place just off the beach. No other cars were there, likely because of the chilliness of the evening.

I jumped out of the car, gazing at the ocean. The last time I had gone to the ocean, I had committed suicide and ended up as one of the living dead. This time, I was going to _be_ dead.

"Beaches really aren't my thing." I sighed, staring at the sunset.

Jasper chuckled behind me, immediately picking up on my humor. "Twilight." I stared at him oddly, trying to make out the hidden meaning beneath his abrupt statement. He caught my look and smiled again. "Ask Edward sometime." Still puzzled, I began walking towards the waterline.

"Hold on, Bella. I have to carry you; we can't have the police seeing two pairs of footprints." I stared at him doubtfully. He smiled easily, shaking his head. "It's okay Bella, I'm already happily taken. Besides, Alice is the one that approved this plan."

"Fine," I sighed, slightly embarrassed. "But you can tell Alice later I go under protest."

He laughed, "Your protest is noted. Now, let's go."

Swiftly, he picked me up, as if I weighed no more than a small child; and he began walking. "Jasper, could you walk any smoother? I'm supposed to have died from drowning, not being rattled to death." He muttered something indistinct under his breath that sounded suspiciously like "_women_", but kept walking.

After a few moments, he let me off on a rock overlooking the ocean. I stared at the churning waters uneasily, the full impact of what I was doing momentarily making me pause.

"Bella, I came so I could manipulate the emotions of the police and paramedics, not you. Play dead already." Giving him a disgruntled look, I cut off my breathing and allowed myself to plunge into the icy water.

Letting myself be tossed around, I eventually felt my "corpse" being washed up into very muddy sand. Resisting the urge to wipe the grime out of my face, I opened my eyes.

Jasper's semi dark silhouette was approaching me. Pausing, brought his cell phone out, quickly dialing 911.

"Hello?" His voice sounded panicked. "I'm at the beach," he quickly gave which beach it was, telling the 911 operator that he had found my tragically cold and motionless form grounded a few minutes ago. After a few more moments, he hung up, smiling slightly.

"And now the fun begins. The ambulance should be here soon, they'll be too late, of course, and then you'll be transported to the morgue. Just lie still, don't move, keep your eyes closed…."

"Wow, Jasper. I honestly didn't know that most _dead people_ don't _move_…" But I cut off my statement abruptly as I heard the obnoxious sound of sirens.

"Our hearing is amplified; it will still be a few more moments before they're here." After a moment, he winked, turning towards the flashing red lights. "Time to play dead, Bella."

Closing my eyes and arranging my features as if I was merely sleeping, I felt a sudden wave of calm envelope me; and I silently thanked the fact I had an empathic vampire with me.

In a few moments I heard the pounding of feet approaching, and anxious voices talking rapidly. After a moment, I felt warm hands seize me and turn me gently over. The smell of human blood hit me full force, and it was all I could do not to flinch. The blood of the person smelled very appetizing, rich, aromatic. But it wasn't nearly as hard to resist as I had anticipated. I had a moment to wonder why that was before the sound of panicked voices brought me back to the present.

"She's cold as ice, and she's not breathing either!" More warm hands seized me, feeling for my pulse, a hint of warmth in my skin. Scents swirled around me and I could hear Jasper's admirable acting ability even from by awkward position on the ground.

"I don't hear a pulse!" There was shouting of several voices, more hands touched me. Forcing myself not to move a muscle, I concentrated on not breathing. Something cool pressed against my chest, I realized it must be a stethoscope; and a moment later I heard a pained sigh.

"We're too late. She's dead; probably has been dead for hours, by her body temperature." The voice was male, and unfamiliar. There was a moment of silence before the voice spoke again. "You found her submerged?"

Jasper's voice came from startlingly near. "I was walking, and I saw her. She was- she was just, lying there. St- still. She, she wouldn't move…" Jasper's voice sounded appropriately shocked and desperate.

"She probably drowned. Pity, pity. We've been looking for her for days. Charlie's going to be heartbroken." I almost winced at the mention of my father's name, but Jasper quickly calmed me.

I felt more hands, more scents. They moved me, placing me gently on something hard, throwing a covering over my body.

"She needs to be transported to the morgue. But we might need to tell some people after that, put in an investigation. It's procedure to start that now, actually…" It was a new voice, a female, but it dwindled weakly away as Jasper sent out sadness and impatience to the paramedics and police.

"But, we really don't have time for that, right now. Later, we'll do it. We should just leave now." Resisting the urge to smile, I felt my body being lifted into the ambulance. The roar of the engine and jolting told me we were moving, and the scent of human reminded me I wasn't alone.

Forcing myself not to take another breath of the intoxicating smell, I chanced to open my eyes. A dark material was covering my face, making me grateful I wasn't claustrophobic. After a while, the car rolled to a stop, and I felt myself being lifted again. Closing my eyes, I relaxed the tension out of my muscles.

Hushed voices reached me in a moment, and whoever was carrying me abruptly stopped.

"You found her? Drowned in the ocean? Oh how horrible, she was only seventeen!" It was a female, probably a nurse.

"Yeah," Another male voice replied heavily. "Charlie isn't going to take this well. He's been out of his mind with worry; she was all he had left. And now…." Guilt poured through me, and I bit my lower lip, squeezing my eyes tightly shut. Poor Charlie…

More jostling, and in another moment it was quiet. I felt myself stop, sensed another surface beneath me. The sound of retreating footsteps echoed out of the room. I hesitated, unsure of whether I should move yet or not.

My question was answered for me when the cover was ripped off. Carlisle's face came into view, and I smiled weakly. "It went fine. Of course, Alice already told me it would."

Carlisle smiled, helping me up. The sharp smell of a powerful disinfectant reached my nose, and I wrinkled it distastefully. "It does take some getting used to, doesn't it?" I nodded, hopping off the table.

Carlisle showed me to a door, opening it a crack. Outside was completely dark, and I could barely make out the outline of Carlisle's car. "My car is there, you'll have to go hide in it. In an hour or two, I'll have completed the "autopsy" and report. I'll come out and drive of home. Alice told me that no one would be in the parking lot, so you'll be fine." I looked at his face, and he smiled reassuringly.

Managing a weak grin back, I slipped out the door. I heard it shut lightly behind me, and started quickly walking towards the Mercedes, still trying to get the strong smell of the disinfectant out of my nose.

Midway there, I skidded to a halt. A faint, unpleasant odor reached my nose, and I whipped my head around, searching the enveloping darkness. Starting walking again, I was three fourths of the way to the car when something large hit me with enough force to knock my breath away.

Gasping, I fell onto the ground. Struggling wildly, I thrashed against the warm hands that were holding me down. Why couldn't I escape? I should be much stronger than anyone I happened to meet…

The unpleasant odor from before returned with enough force to make me gag. Struggling still, I felt myself being lifted up and the air rushing past my face as we moved. Disoriented, I kicked wildly, but nothing seemed to affect my assaulter.

In a few moments, the warm hands grabbed me again; and I was swung to the ground. Trying to run, strong hands clamped over my mouth. Thrashing, I almost managed to writhe free, but new figured appeared in the gloom.

"Did you get her?" The voice was male, deep and husky. The appallingly repulsive odor was stronger than ever, making me feel almost light headed.

"Yes." My captor grunted, still holding tightly to my struggling body. Men appeared in the gloom, their tanned features twisted into almost identical grimaces.

The tallest approached me, holding up a light. His face was less than a foot from my own, his bronze skin and dark hair melding into the shadows. The smell made me want to vomit, and my struggles were becoming weaker, more feeble.

The man's face broke into a bitter, feral grin and he began talking again. "Excellent."

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**The language, by the way, was Finnish; I forgot exactly which variation. And I also have to say that some of you managed to **_**fail**_** a psychoanalysis question. Yes, I'm not joking. I asked you how you would feel in the room. Therefore, one of your words should not have been white. Or bright. Yes, the room is white, and white tends to be a bright color. It doesn't matter who made the room, or who painted the room. You are not in there indefinitely, the amount of time has no relevancy whatsoever. And finally, **_**the room does not have padded walls and you are not in a straight jacket.**_

**Some of you, take a moment to reevaluate your answers….**

**---------------------------------------------**

**And now, I'll tell you the symbolism of your emotions.**

_**How you react or feel about that white room, is the emotions in which you view **__**death.**_

**Morbid question? Yes, probably. But some of your answers were, ummmm, **_**interesting.**_

**Now, I have a new psyche question. Loopy, do you call me? Well, you're the ones actually **_**reading**_** what I'm writing. Ha.**

**Question****: If you could have a pet, what three features would you wish that pet to display? You are not giving the name of a specific animal, you are giving a trait. And you can say any trait you would wish for your pet to have; with no terms to conventionality. That means, say absolutely anything you want. You are not taking care of this pet, this pet can have any traits you want, and this has nothing to do with practicality. Do not say you would want it to be calm, or quiet, because a loud pet would annoy you. This has no relevancy to the actual world, and has no strings of "you have to take care of your pet" attached.**

**Example of traits: Intelligent, Mysterious, Happy, Beautiful, Clever, Funny, Rambunctious, etc. **

**Have fun!**

**And, as always,**

_**Seul Lune.**_


	19. Chapter 19: Conditions

**I'm really sorry about not updating, I feel quite guilty about it. But, I've been ill for the last few days, so my mother wouldn't let me do anything besides lay down and **_**recover**_**. I'm better now, but my mom is still annoyed I am typing, absolutely convinced I am spreading deadly germs. **

**Anyhow, I realized that I have completely forgotten to put a language on the last chapter…. Well, there will be one on this update. Also, about my psyche question. Most of you interpreted the question better than the last one. **_**The three traits you said are three characteristics you wish other people to see you as possessing. **_

**Hope you enjoy this (rather long in coming) chapter!**

**-----------------------------------------------------**

Bella's POV:

I lost all concept of time, after a while. Being in a dark, enclosed space seemed to completely isolate me from the world; seemed to freeze the moment. Idly, in my hours of confinement, I wondered whether the Cullens had realized I was missing. Were they searching for me? Had Alice had a vision?

Thoughts swirled in my head, and without the ability to sleep, I was unable to escape one darkness for another. I would sometimes pace restlessly. The room was a square, four steps in either direction. It felt like the walls and floor were concrete, but I couldn't be sure. My sharpened hearing could pick out the precise sound of my footsteps echoing against the confining walls. No noise reached me from outside the room. I had nothing to tell me I wasn't dead, or I wasn't the last person on earth.

I couldn't quite recall how I had gotten here. I simply remembered burning hands holding me roughly, and an overpoweringly unpleasant odor. I hadn't seen my captors, and come to it, I hadn't seen _anyone._

Some moments I thought I might go insane. At the beginning, I was frightened. I didn't know who the people were, why I couldn't fight them, or why they had kidnapped me in the first place. I felt a surge of dread come over me every time I imagined what would happen to me. Soon, though, the stifling anxiousness had declined. I had time to wonder where the Cullens were right now, whether they would find me or not. The dark, completely quiet isolation was beginning to get to me. After a while, I just started talking out loud; doing anything to ward off the encroaching darkness. It gave a whole new meaning to the term _silent as the grave_.

After a while, I just felt restless. The only sign that any significant amount of time was passing was the fact that I slowly became weaker and weaker. As a newborn, I knew I needed to hunt more often; but somehow or another my captors didn't have the decency to drag in a dead animal to feed me.

I was lying down on the cool, rough floor when the first faint traces of another voice besides my own reached me. There were two people, men, and they seemed to be arguing. Straining my ears, I couldn't make out more than the angry tones on both of the voices. They drew nearer, and after a moment stopped. Sitting up as if an electric current had just been shot through my body, I waited tensely for something to happen.

After a moment, I heard the handle of the door turning, and the hinges creaking. Light flooded into the room, and I gasped, closing my eyes. The brightness was physically painful after so much time in blackness. Before I could do anything, the same burning hands roughly grabbed my arm, hauling me to my feet. I had no strength to resist as I felt myself being pulled over someone's shoulder. Tentatively, I cracked my eyes open. I saw the ground start to move as the person holding me began walking. The odor reached my nose, and I felt like I would have thrown up if I could have.

"Ughh, she stinks; Sam, why do_ I_ have to carry her?" The voice was deep, edged with annoyance. Trying to get my bearings, I raised my head, looking around. We were outside, and it was twilight. The bloody hue of the sunset seemed to chill me, as if it were an omen.

I turned my head as I heard another voice talk, just as irritated as the first. "We have already discussed this, Jared." The man who spoke was the one who I had last seen previous to my imprisonment, Sam. "And it isn't like she can escape. She hasn't fed for days, so she doesn't have enough strength."

Jared made a disgusted noise, and I snarled. Sam whipped his head around, his tanned face forcedly smooth. "Speak of the devil, and the devil will awaken." He didn't try to hide his disgust. Jared chuckled, and I narrowed my eyes menacingly.

"What's going on?" My usually smooth voice sounded uncommonly rough from misuse as I asked my question. "Why did you kidnap me?"

"Leaches aren't the sharpest tools in the shed, are they?" Jared taunted.

"At least we don't _belong_ in the shed." I snarled, stung by his casual insult. To my surprise, Jared growled, his body beginning to shake violently, as if he were to have a seizure.

"Jared, stop." Sam's voice was sharp. It took a moment for me to realize we had stopped walking as soon as Jared started trembling. Slowly, Jared relaxed, moving again. "Idiot leech," he muttered, so low I almost couldn't hear, even with my vampire senses.

"You know I can hear you, don't you? I guess you really _do _belong in the shed." I was filled with a reckless energy, sparing no thought for the consequences of my actions. Jared snarled, tightening his hold on me. I couldn't stop a strangled gasp as his arms painfully squeezed my body.

"Jared." Sam's warned again, his dark eyes sharp. Jared reluctantly loosened his grip on me, growling under his breath.

"So, how about answering my first question?"

Sam looked at me for a moment. His face was composed into a cold mask, letting out no emotions. The color of the sunset tinted his face against the semidarkness, giving me an impression I was in an old horror film "We believed the Cullens would be unwilling to take the consequences of their actions. It's all a matter of leverage." I stared at him for a moment. They were werewolves. I could have slapped myself for not figuring it out sooner. And they had taken me to ensure the Cullens did exactly what they wanted them to do.

Abruptly, we came to a stop. I realized that we had entered the forest. Craning my neck, I could make out several dim shapes, probably other werewolves, emerging from the shady trees into a clearing. Jared yanked me roughly to the ground, holding me in front of him in a headlock. I snarled, struggling weakly, knowing the whole time that it wouldn't do any good.

The tall, shrouded shapes of trees surrounded the small clearing, casting long shadows in the dusk. The area was roughly shaped in an oblong oval, wild grass and moss covering the ground and trees.

"You have her?" With difficultly, I glanced at the newcomer who had spoken. He was followed by two others; all three of them appeared to be the youngest in the pack.

"No, Embry. This is just a hallucination of her. We _actually_ released her, after she swore never to drink blood again, and now we think she's out picking daisies." Jared's voice was heavily sarcastic, and his hold on me tightened as he spoke. Annoyance flickered over all three of their faces, and Jared squeezed even harder.

I choked, my air supply suddenly being cut off. One of the youths behind Embry looked at me, his expression torn between pity and disgust. "Hey, watch it." I called to Jared.

Jared eased up his grip, no doubt glaring at the other boy over my head. "Don't tell me what to do, Jacob Black. It's not like she needs to breathe anyways."

_Jacob Black. Black. Where do I know that name from?_

"No really, Sherlock. I amend my statement. You don't belong in the shed, you belong in the outhouse. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is not to breathe?" The three boys looked mildly confused, and Jared snarled in anger. "I know," I exclaimed, making my voice enthusiastic and preppy. "How about we try an experiment? Don't breath, and see what happens!"

Jared was pissed, I could tell. So was another, older boy I hadn't seen before. The three youths however, fought back grins.

Sam's voice cut across the dialogue. "That's enough; the leeches should be here soon."

"I would rather be a leech than a crazed rabid mutt, baying at the moon." My statement caused Jared to begin shaking, as well as the other boy.

"Jared, Paul. Stop." Sam's sharp tone lashed at them warningly. He glanced at me, his face still expressionless. "And you behave."

I stared at him for a moment, unable to stop an almost hysterical laugh from escaping my burning throat. "I'm your _captive_ and you want me to _behave_?" I burst into laughter, a small rational part of my mind asking why I found this so funny.

"Shut up!" Paul was practically foaming at the mouth. In one step he was in front of me, inches away from my face. I stopped chuckling for a moment, staring into his threatening features, before bursting out into laughter again.

_Laugh in the face of danger. Or death. Take your pick._

My mirth was abruptly cut off as Paul's fist collided with my cheek, a blow that would have knocked me the ground, had Jared not been tightly holding my head.

I blinked a few times, vaguely registering pain and footsteps approaching. "We have agreed to come to this meeting to solve our differences without bloodshed, not to see you brutally attack a member of our family." Surprised, I glanced up. The Cullens stepped out of the trees, Carlisle in the lead, all of them wearing similarly enraged expressions. I had never seen Alice's usually laughing eyes so cold, and Edward… Well, Edward looked like he might have had an apoplectic fit if it were still anatomically possible for him to do so. All of their beautiful faces were oddly silhouetted against the approaching gloom.

"Why have you kidnapped a family member, after telling us we would be secure until this meeting occurred?" Carlisle's voice was icy, a certain rage seemed to emanate from him. It didn't help the tense situation that Jasper was just as upset, sending waves of rage and irritation through everyone.

"Jasper." I called sharply, begging him with my eyes to stop. He looked at me, startled, then smiled slightly, breathing deeply. Everyone's faces looked towards me at my sudden interruption.

"Well? Are you planning on answering my question?" Carlisle spoke again, looking at Sam.

"We did not believe that you would agree to our conditions without bloodshed. We took an alternative course of action."

"So that makes it perfectly alright for you to kidnap a seventeen year old girl and then start striking her?" It was Edward who spoke this time, his voice so menacing a few younger members of the pack took a step back.

"She's a leech, not a seventeen year old girl." The Cullens bristled at Paul's sneering statement.

"Well, I am seventeen. And last time I checked, I was most definitely a girl. Becoming a vampire didn't _completely _alter my anatomy." My voice was venomous, and Jared started shaking.

"Jared, stop. Now." Sam's voice was neutral, but there was an edge of anger to it. He turned back to the Cullens, his face mask like. "We have certain conditions. If you fulfill them, we will release her without harm."

"There are eight of us and six of you, and some of you are too young to have much experience. Why don't we just attack you now?" Emmett's tone was bland, but he looked faintly excited.

"Because she'll be dead before you get halfway to us." Jared growled, his hands squeezing my throat. All of the Cullens except for Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie growled; glaring daggers at the werewolves.

"What are these conditions?" Carlisle's tone was reasonable, but I could tell he was barely holding back his anger.

"You will leave Forks, Washington and never return, not even generations from now. You will not, now or in the future, attack any member of this reservation, werewolf or non, for revenge or any other reason."

I stared at him in surprise. Of course the Cullens would agree to that. Why did they need to take me hostage?

Carlisle opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by Sam.

"And one last thing. You will track down, and kill someone for the pack."

Carlisle stiffened with the rest of the family, his ocher eyes narrowing in distaste. "Who?"

"Some _people_, actually." Sam amended. "And those people are vampires."

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**I lost my psyche questions, so in the meantime, you only have a language. (Sighs) I'm sure you'll survive, though.**

**Language of the chapter:**

**Kekahi mokuna 'a'ole 'a'ohe hele mai auane'i**

**'Oukou pono alia a hiki I i laila**

**A hiki I i laila,**

_**Seul Lune**_


	20. Chapter 20: Plotting with Rose's

**I just want to say, I am completely innocent of not getting this up on time. Fanfiction wouldn't let me login for more than a day, and when I finally could; there was some kind of glitch that wouldn't allow me to upload documents. **

**I'd also like to ask everyone if they've been having problems with fanfiction lately, from logging on to the stories not uploading correctly; or is it just me?**

**The language was Hawaiian, by the way. Aloha!**

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Bella's POV:

The entire Cullen family froze, eyeing the werewolves warily.

"And which vampires are the ones you wish us to dispose of?" Carlisle's voice was calm, but he couldn't prevent an edge of apprehension from entering his question.

"They are two males who've been hanging around a ways northward. I believe their names are Felix and Demetri." A heavy silence was followed by Sam's announcement. Fear flickered into the faces of my new family, and Edward growled softly.

I looked at them questioningly. Who were Felix and Demetri, and why was it such a big deal?

"Felix and Demetri are members of the Volturi." Carlisle's statement was met with collective shudders from both werewolves and vampires. "If we kill them, both we and_ you_ will have more problems than we have now."

Sam paused for a moment, no emotion entering his expression. "That's your problem now, isn't it?" He asked, clearly rhetorically. "Both are wearing rings and cloaks. You will bring those back as evidence that they are dead. When you do, we will release her." He jerked his head in my direction. "If you don't, then…." He let the sentence hang ominously. The tension in the air was almost palpable as the two races stared at each other

"Let's go." Sam barked, turning. Jared pulled me roughly, the rest of the pack following. I managed one last glance backwards at my new family. All looked incredibly sober, their expressions highlighted against the waning light. My eyes locked with Edward's for a brief moment, one that seemed both like it lasted an eternity and it ended before it began. His eyes were onyx, his expression frozen into lines of anxiety and anger. His face softened slightly as his gaze met mine, seemingly trying to convey a message to me. He opened his mouth, as if to say something, but no sound ever came out.

Our gaze was broken as Jared dragged me away; blocking the man I loved from my sight through the trees and gloom. I considered calling back to him, but thought better of it.

_I have no idea what's going on. What is the Volturi? Why are the Cullens afraid of two vampires, when there are seven of them? _

I had no strength to fight Jared, even if I had wanted to. At the moment, it seemed like nothing mattered. Like time wasn't passing.

It wasn't long before I found myself being thrown into my cell again. The blackness enveloped me as I sat on the floor, curling my legs around me.

I was powerless.

I buried my head in my knees, closing my eyes and wishing for the release of sleep that I would never have.

All I could do was wait in the darkness, hoping my angel would rescue me.

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Edward's POV:

I had been so worried. Out of my mind, out of all light of reason. My Bella had been captured by _werewolves_. How could I have let this happen to her? How could have I not been there to protect her? Of course, Alice felt almost as bad as I did, blaming herself for not seeing it coming.

It wasn't her fault, it was mine.

And now, the only way to get her back safely, was to murder members of the most powerful and dangerous coven of our kind in existence.

"We can't kill members of the Volturi. We'll have more trouble on our hands than we do now if they find out about it." Alice's voice was quiet, but I could hear the panic raging through her thoughts.

"But how will the Volturi know that _we_ were the ones who killed them? They would just go missing, eventually the Volturi would realize they were dead, but they wouldn't know _we_ were the ones who did it." Emmett reasoned, aching to fight someone.

Esme interrupted his train of thought. "But they have ways of seeing things that we do not know about. They could figure out it was us."

_We can't just go kill Felix and Demetri._

_Is there any other way?_

_Let's just take them down. It's the best plan we have so far._

_I hope they don't hurt Bella._

_This is all my fault. I should have Seen it coming…_

My family's thoughts swirled around my own, adding to my rage and anxiety. Jasper projected as sudden wave of calm out to everyone. "What if we don't go after the Volturi?" I snarled at the suggestion. How dare he think of not saving Bella! "Edward, calm down and listen," He snapped, glancing in my direction. "The werewolves are the root of the problem. Why don't we just target them? Then we wouldn't have to kill members of the Volturi; and we wouldn't have to worry about Bella being handed back over safely."

His plan made sense. After all, why go after vampires when we could kill werewolves instead?

"I say yes to that plan!" Emmett punched his hand in the air, still excited about fighting the mutts.

Carlisle stopped our plotting abruptly. "They are likely guarding Bella very closely, incase we attempt something along those lines. They could kill her before we get to all of them. We have no choice but to go after the Volturi." His speech was met with silence.

"We don't necessarily have to kill them." I turned in surprise at Rosalie's statement. She had kept silent during our conversation, and I knew from her thoughts she didn't like Bella. "If we can steal the cloaks and rings, the werewolves won't know they aren't dead, and we won't have offended the Volturi."

I looked at her, and she glanced back at me and odd emotion in her gaze.

_Why Edward?_ She answered my unasked question through her mind. _Because I feel sorry for her. She had a horrible human life. And she makes you happy. I don't like her, but I never gave her a chance. _

I nodded mutely, smiling subtly. It was rare to find depth to Rosalie's thoughts. It was even more uncommon to find thoughts that weren't centered around herself.

Carlisle nodded. "It's not a bad idea. We can either trick them into giving the objects to us; or we can just flat out steal. We'll have to be careful though, not to be seen. Our plan could end up… messily if they catch on to out scheme."

"But the wolves will eventually know that Felix and Demetri aren't dead." Jasper pointed out, frowning.

I smiled. "By that time, they will have released her, and we will have moved. There's nothing they could do about it." Emmett chuckled at my response, though I could still hear disappointment radiating through his thoughts. My brother enjoyed fights far too much.

"Alice?" Carlisle asked, turning towards her. "Where exactly are they?"

She closed her eyes, clasping her small hands together. "About seventy miles north- northwest of here. I'll know the location when I see it."

Carlisle nodded, turning back to us. "We need an exact plan. How are we going to take the items?"

"The cloaks won't be that difficult." I answered, my mind frantically trying to sort through scenarios of both my own and my family's making. "The rings will be more difficult. They don't take them off."

"How about Rosalie tricks them into giving her their rings. She could do it…" Alice's comment was followed by snarls from Emmett and Rosalie glaring daggers at her.

I smiled despite myself. She could, if she wanted to….

My thought wandered away back to worrying about Bella. Was she safe? I knew she must be weak; she obviously hadn't fed for a long period of time…

"Bella will be fine, Edward. We'll make sure of it; you aren't the only one that cares about her." Sometimes it seemed like Esme was the one who could read my mind. I smiled gratefully at her, appreciating the effort but not really believing her words.

_She's captured by mutts. How could she be all right?_

"Edward, you aren't going to help her by worrying. You'll help her by focusing on the task at hand." Esme's voice was comforting, but slightly scolding. I smiled, still amused after all these years how much of a mother she was to all of us, even though she was not older than some of her "children".

"We can set up a diversion." Jasper suggested. "Somehow cover up there faces so we can take their rings."

"I still think the best option is to have Rosalie take them. They'll give them to her, if she asks _nicely_." Alice chimed.

Carlisle frowned slightly. "Have you Seen anything?"

"No. There are so many choices, so many elements affecting this; I don't have a chance of knowing what will happen. It's like trying to look through mud." Carlisle didn't look at all surprised by Alice's answer.

"Rosalie will distract them, and if we're lucky, she'll get them to actually give her what we need. If not, we need to have someone cover their eyes until we can rob them and get away. There's also the problem that they might try to follow us…." There was another pause as every was lost in thought, idly staring out into the shrouded trees.

"I know!" Alice said excitedly, practically bouncing up and down as she broke through the lapse in conversation. "If Rosalie can't get the rings, then we can be masked, and rob them. But we pretend to hurt Rosalie, so they stay behind to help her… And by the time that she has "recovered" we'll be long gone!"

"No!" Emmett growled. "Number one, Rosalie is _not_ doing _anything _to those two creeps. Number two, we are _not_ just leaving her behind to deal with them!"

"They won't hurt her. And we can use fake names the entire time; they'll never know the difference." Emmett showed all signs of interrupting, so Alice started talking again, even more rapidly than before. "She'll leave; tell them that she is _so_ grateful to them, that she would be dead if they weren't there to save her. Then she'll say that she feels that they are so big and important, but that danger just seems to be attracted to them, and she just _can't stand_ the thought of getting hurt. It will all work out fine."

"I say we just attack, wearing ski masks or something." Emmett griped, still deeply dissatisfied with the plan.

"Ski masks?" Jasper arched an eyebrow. "How much TV do you _watch,_ Emmett?"

"Bella is still being held hostage, we still need to rob members of the Volturi, and you're discussing _ski masks_?" I could barely contain my disquiet.

"Sorry, Edward." Emmett looked contrite, be his thoughts betrayed he was still annoyed at our more than humane plan.

"I'll do it." Rosalie's statement was short, but I don't think I've ever felt more grateful to her in my existence.

So many feelings were welling up inside me, I could barely contain them. Anxiety, fear, and rage. I longed to see Bella again, longed to hold her in my arms.

"Edward. You're being very distracting." Jasper cast an annoyed glance in my direction, accompanied by a wave of calm.

"Ok." I stilled for a moment, striving to keep my conflicting emotions in check, even while I knew it was no use. "Let's go." I said tersely, remembering Alice's directions.

It was fully dark now as we sped off into the forest, easily avoiding oncoming trees. The leaves silhouetted against the moonlight made contorted shadows on the ground as I ran, trying to think of anything else besides Bella.

_Please, let her be okay. Please._

Branches whipped by me as I sent out my silent plea, begging a higher power to watch over my angel. Alice smiled at me encouragingly, shadows chasing each other over her pale face.

_It will be alright Edward, I promise._

Her thought was intentionally calming and projected at me.

_If only you could truly promise that, Alice. If only._

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**How'd you like it? Lately, I'm getting less hits and reviews than I have before; so I wanted to ask everyone a question: Are you getting bored with my story, and do you want me to bring it to a close? Because I will if people start feeling they are losing interest because it is getting too long. Let me know! **

**Also, I'm going camping with my family until Sunday, so I won't be able to update until then. Actually, I will be completely cut off from all sources of electricity for a few days. (My father takes camping to a whole new level. You apparently just **_**can't**_** experience nature unless you are cooking all of your meals over an open fire.)**

**And, the language of the chapter is…………..**

**Osiyo, Ayv wili unigisv nasginai naquu.**

**Gvgeyui Elohi ale Nasgi ageyv diniyoli.**

**didayolihv dvgalenisgv,**

**So please answer my question, and the language if you would like. Until Sunday or shortly after,**

_**Seul Lune. **_


	21. Chapter 21: Unexpected

**I had a good camping trip, no vampires or werewolves got me.**

**I have an announcement to make. If you haven't noticed, I have changed my penname. Instead of **_**Seul Lune,**_** it is now **_**Lon-Dubh. **_**I have a weird thing with names, and I had an overwhelming urge to suddenly change my penname. Anyhow, it's also in another language, maybe all you people out there can figure out what it means. _Also, I'm sorry for any inconvenience or confusion this change might have, or will cause. I am not planning on changing my penname ever again._**

**I'm also happy because I think only THREE people guessed the language correctly! Yay! I'm getting closer to winning! By the way, the language was Cherokee.**

**I am planning on updating more often, for several reasons. #1. ****Eclipse**** is coming out soon, and I'm not going to writing fanfictions when I can be reading that. #2. Shortly after that, my school starts again, (sighs) and I'm taking several honors/A.P. classes so I don't know how often I will be able to update. But I have gotten the entire story planned out now, I'm not cutting it short, and I estimate it still has about three to five chapters left; though it is a possibility there will be more. Like I said before, I'm planning on updating more often, so look out for those.**

**Enjoy the chapter….**

**-----------------------------------------------**

Edward's POV:

I wouldn't allow myself to think as I continued running. I couldn't allow myself to think. Elsewise, I would reflect on the fact that the love of my existence was inches from death, the plan we had to save her was chancy at best, and I was depending on Rosalie to pull it off. My sister could be a shallow, selfish, attention craving, self-absorbed person, but at the moment she was a having moments of striking depth and lucidity. It wasn't that I didn't exactly trust her, because I knew she would try. But I didn't trust her to keep to the plan. I trusted her dear husband even less.

I couldn't let myself think, brood. I realized now how remarkably long I could dwell on things. Never has it been so difficult to break my nature.

It seemed like both an eternity and mere seconds when Alice signaled us to stop. Skidding to an abrupt halt, I listened carefully. I could faintly pick up the distant sounds of voices through the shrouded trees. Glancing at Rosalie, I could tell she heard them as well. She looked at me, her eyes questioning. I nodded mutely, picking up my gesture; she disappeared instantly through the trees.

Emmett made a low growling noise in his throat as she vanished, taking an instinctive step towards her path. Carlisle put a restraining hand on his shoulder, and Jasper shot him a sharp glance. I didn't need to be a telepath to understand he was deeply opposed to our plan. Fidgeting slightly, he finally settled for grasping his hands into tight fists.

Resisting the urge to smile slightly, I leaned lightly against the nearest tree, closing my eyes and carefully concentrating.

_What was that sound?_

"Did you hear something?"

"Yes. Someone's coming, I think-"

_Wow._

I clearly heard their conversation, and thunderstruck thoughts as Rosalie emerged in the clearing. Wincing slightly, I tried to shut out their lewd thoughts from my mind. It was a _very _good thing Emmett didn't have my gift.

"Hello, sugar."

I saw Rosalie's face clearly through one of their minds. Here hair was slightly windswept, and her lips were curled up into a vaguely alluring smile. "Hello, my name's Lillian. Who're you?"

I chuckled slightly at her airy, flippant tone.

"I'm Felix."

"Demetri."

"How nice," she cooed. Emmett growled unhappily. "What are you doing in the area?"

Their replies were cut off by a sharp gust of wind that howled through the trees. Rosalie's hair swirled around her face, and she shivered slightly. "Oh, it's _cold_."

"You get _cold_," Felix's voice clearly mirrored his disbelief.

Rosalie huffed, arranging her face in a pitifully hurt expression. "Of course I get cold! Don't you?"

Felix very obviously had no tact whatsoever. "No."

"Well, just because you don't doesn't mean _I_ don't. And I _thought _you were nice," Her voice cracked realistically, and she turned to move away.

"Don't go," Demetri cut in. "You can borrow our cloaks if you're cold. And please forgive Felix for his lack of manners." His voice was honey coated, but his thoughts certainly weren't.

Rosalie sniffed, eyeing them doubtfully for a moment. "All right," she conceded, moving back towards them, her hips swaying.

_Oh, I wish I could-_

I flinched at Felix's thoughts, shifting uncomfortably. _Ughh._

Felix handed her his cloak quickly, eager to get back in her good graces. Demetri slowly unclasped his, setting it gently on her shoulders, holding the contact much longer than necessary. I grinned: _Two down, two to go._

Through their minds, I saw Rosalie seat herself on the ground, daintily flicking dirt and bark that was clinging to the fabric. "Thank you. It's so rare to come across_ true_ gentlemen these days. I've been around _barbarians _for years." Her shallow tone fit perfectly with her clever façade of petty innocence. Emmett apparently didn't appreciate her efforts and tensed even more, devising some very slow, very _creative_ ways to put an end to Felix and Demetri's existence.

"What are you doing here, Lillian?"

Rosalie gazed up at him between her extravagant lashes beguilingly. "Oh, I'm just traveling, I don't know where to," she replied airily, slowly tucking her hair over her shoulder. "What about you?"

Felix puffed out importantly, about to brag about belonging to the most powerful coven in the world. "Oh, we-"

"Are just doing the same thing as you." Demetri inwardly seethed, mentally kicking his companion for almost telling her the truth.

Rosalie smiled, shifting slightly. "How charming."

"Yes, we," Demetri suddenly cut his sentence off, eyeing Rosalie suspiciously. "Why are your eyes that color?"

Damn. We forgot about that….

Alice's thoughts caught my attention immediately. _Edward! This isn't going to work; we have to move onto the next part of the plan. _I nodded at her, acknowledging her vision.

Swiftly, my family and I ran in the direction of Rosalie, I silently kicking myself. I heard Rosalie's stuttering reply as I drew closer. "Oh, well I don't know. I think that-"

I interrupted her stammering by launching myself into the clearing. Felix and Demetri sat just before me, there skin an odd olive pallor. Not giving them time to react, or see what was occurring, I launched myself at Demetri, Emmett hot on my heels.

Rosalie shrieked, allowing herself to be bowled to the ground. I slammed into Demetri, causing an explosive grating sound, and seized him turning his face away from my own. I grabbed his hand, roughly yanking to engraved ring off his finger as he struggled beneath me. Yelling wildly, I heard the scuffle between Emmett and Felix behind me, but paid no attention. Roughly shoving Demetri into the damp ground, I took off into the dark trees like a bat out of hell. I didn't look back as I ran, mentally begging Emmett not to get carried away.

At last, I emerged from the trees, pausing momentarily for my family to catch up. Esme, Jasper, Carlisle, and Alice soon materialized from the gloom, the latter two clutching the cloaks. Straining my ears, I concentrated on Emmett, willing him to run. He barreled out of the trees a few moments later, his face set into a feral grin. He held up the ring, an exact copy of the one I grasped, triumphantly.

"Is Rosalie coming," He asked after, turning towards Alice. She stilled, her pale brow furrowed, running her small hands through her dark hair.

"Yes," she didn't try to hide her happiness as she answered. Emmett sagged in relief, smiling blissfully.

"Well, I think that went pretty well. I got a good swing at that one vampire, don't know his name-"

"Felix," I supplied, mentally wincing at the thought of Emmett "swinging" at someone who was trying to pick up his wife.

"Whatever," he said carelessly. "Anyways, I got the ring, and he didn't ever see my face."

Just then, Rosalie emerged, her golden hair tangled. Emmett cried out in joy, seizing her into his arms. Looking at them, I remembered the reason for our mission in the first place. I wanted to see Bella so badly it almost caused me physical pain.

Alice beamed. "I told you everything would be all right Edward."

I looked into her illuminated face, not concealing my relief. "I've never been happier that you were correct."

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Bella's POV:

The time blended into itself after a while, very similar to how it had done before. I felt my body growing weaker and weaker from lack of blood, and idly wondered if it was possible for a vampire to starve to death.

The harsh burning in my throat was so brutal it made me want to weep, but that was nothing compared to the ache I felt in my dead heart.

There was a problem, obviously. Something was wrong with what the werewolves asked them to do. I couldn't shake the horrified expression on their faces as they were told the conditions of my release.

_Would they even bother? They barely know me…_

_Edward will. Edward cares._ I told myself repeatedly.

_But does he? How much do you really know about him and his family? You pushed him away, before, out of self disgust. And then once you were changed, he acted differently towards you. _A cynical voice in my head reminded me._ Becoming one of the undead wasn't the only change that happened…_

I paced restlessly for a while, but quickly stopped, trying to conserve my waning energy. Thoughts raced around in my mind faster than I could have kept track of, even if I had tried.

_I don't want to just sit here and wait, hope that they care enough to rescue me._

_But what else can you do?_

I was leaning weakly against the rough wall of my prison, drumming my fingers against the cement absently when the door to my cell suddenly opened.

It was dark outside, but the starlight illuminated the large silhouette standing in the threshold. Scrambling weakly to my feet, I pressed myself against the wall.

"What-" My question was cut off when the shape came forward.

"Shhh," It hissed, closing the door quickly behind itself. Squinting, I realized that I could barely tell anyone was in the room at all, even with my precise vision.

I heard the shadow rummage through its pockets, and then the click of the flashlight as he pressed the switch.

It was one of the members of the pack, his skin tan with defined cheekbones and dark ruffled hair. I had seen him just before, but struggled to remember his name.

He scrutinized my surprised face as intensely as I did to him, the flashlight defining his expression in even sharper contrast.

When I finally recalled his name, my voice was surprised, incredulous. "Jacob?"

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**Yes, everyone, Jacob has a role in this story. And what is it? That's for me to know and you to eventually find out. I'm open to your guessing though.**

**Here's the language of the chapter: **

**Ich bin krik fun der wald**

**Ich hobn kop azoy ale megile**

**Zen vell ale**

**Byerushe **

**Also, I opened an account at deviantart that I will be putting some illustrations relating to Twilight and other things. If (for some reason) you'd like to see that, this is the address: h t t p : l o n - d u b h . d e v i a n t a r t . c o m (It doesn't have much on there yet, as I've just opened it) (The spacing between the letters was the only way I could get the URL to load onto Doc. manager, the actual address has no spaces.)**

**Until the next update,**

_**Lon-Dubh**_


	22. Chapter 22: I Didn't See It Coming

Edward's POV:

It seemed too easy, too good to be entirely true. We had managed to get the rings, the cloaks with no casualties and minimal complications. And now we would be meeting with the wolves, and they would release Bella. I knew from past experience that things in life were very rarely this simple, uncomplicated.

We stood in the same clearing as before, this time under the omnipresent clouds that seemed to perpetually hang in this region. The sky rumbled discontentedly, threatening to pour at any moment upon the forests and anyone that happened to be there.

I sighed, glancing up at the sky, lost in my own thoughts. My existence since I had met Isabella Swan seemed both like the darkest nightmare and the sweetest dream. Our relationship was volatile at best, and I didn't have the benefit of reading her mind to simply find out how she felt about me. But perhaps that was one of the reasons I was so drawn to her.

"They're coming, they should be here in a few minutes," Alice announced casually, leaving no doubt who "they" were. I shifted slightly, redirecting my gaze to the side of the meadow I knew they would appear at.

Alice wasn't wrong. Within minutes of her proclamation, large shadows emerged from the trees; their scent blowing around us in a sickening cloud. Resisting the urge to turn away from the odor, I watched them cautiously approach.

"You have them?" The Alpha spoke, his voice husky.

"Yes," Carlisle replied. "We have retrieved the items." He pulled out the rings and cloaks (both of them realistically ripped and stained compliments of Alice). Carlisle approached the wolf slowly, extending the items towards him. He appeared almost reluctant as he accepted the objects he had coldly sent us to get, pausing only to sniff them.

"Very well, you have fulfilled your side of the bargain, we will carry out ours." He dropped the evidence carelessly on the ground, apparently having no use of it other than as testimony to our act. "Two of you may come to retrieve her."

I stepped forward instinctively, aching to see Bella again. Glancing at Carlisle, he nodded, coming to my side. "We will come."

The Alpha merely nodded curtly, turning on his heel to disappear with the rest of the pack into the woods. I followed after them, carefully probing their minds for the thought of betrayal or an ambush. Satisfied that they were not planning on double crossing us, I focused my thoughts purely on Bella. I seemed to be a great deal of that lately.

Every once in a while, a particularly malicious thought would surface from one of the pack, and I repeatedly resisted the urge to tear the perpetrator's throat out. It wouldn't help our case if I murdered one of the pack on the basis that he wasn't thinking politely.

At last we emerged from the green tinted shroud of the forest, coming into site of an old storage shed that seemed like it could double as a bomb shelter, being made out of cement. Walking more quickly, it took all of my self control not to run to the entrance and rip the door off its hinges.

The Alpha approached the door, roughly pulling on the rusted latch. The door finally swung open, blowing the sweet scent of the woman I loved directly into my face. Inhaling deeply, I stepped forward, pausing for a moment.

Something was wrong. Bella had been here but her aroma was faint, like that of scented candles after they had been blown out. It lingered teasingly in the air, just a shadow of what it had originated from.

Unable to control myself, I pushed past the mutt, searching to contours of the room for my angel.

She was gone.

_No. No, no no!_ I knew it was too simple, too easy to not have a complication. I could barely contain my fear and anxiousness. Where had she gone?

My feelings abruptly turned to rage as I glanced at the Alpha.

I turned to him, snarling viscously. "_Where is she?"_

_--------------------------------------_

Bella's POV:

I relished the freedom of the cool wind whipping past my face as I ran. It seemed like it had been years since I had been able to run, to walk, even to see the sky. I wanted to see the Cullens, to find them and tell them to stop. Only now did I realize how much danger they were in, and I was continually blaming myself for it.

But if I caused it, at least I could stop it.

As much as I needed to find them, I knew I had to hunt before I did anything. I killed the first animals I could find, drinking hungrily, completely uncaring about the taste. I felt strength slowly return to my body as the life left the animals. It was a trade. I had felt guilty about it at first, but my uneasiness about slaughtering animals was completely driven from my mind at the moment.

I ran swiftly through the forest, branches whipping dangerously close to my face. But I felt no fear. Only numbness, interrupted by a fierce, blazing determination.

I smiled as the sudden memory of my escape flashed through my mind.

"_What are you doing here," my voice was cool as I studied Jacob's face. _

_He shifted uncomfortably, his nose slightly wrinkled at my scent. "I, well- wanted to talk to you."_

"_About what," my tone was scathing, hiding the token of curiosity._

"_I felt bad, what we've done. Our purpose was never to do anything but to protect people, but now we're taking hostages and sending your family on impossible missions…" His voice dwindled off weakly, and he sent me a half repentant look._

_I looked at him, no longer hiding my curiosity and bewilderment. "What do you mean, impossible missions?"_

_He looked at me seriously for a moment, shifting on the balls of his feet. "The Volturi are a very dangerous coven of bloo-… your kind." He managed to stop himself from saying "bloodsuckers" at the last moment. "You don't mess with them."_

_My caught in my burning throat. "So you sent my family on a death mission." Jacob's shoulders sagged, and he looked at the ground._

"_They wouldn't be happy with me, if they knew I was talking to you. There has always been enmity between us." He frowned. "It's kind of hard to talk to you now, you don't smell so hot."_

"_Neither do you." He looked at me sharply, and I sighed; half annoyed and half grateful towards him. _

"_Your father and mine have always been old friends, and I've seen you, once or twice. It's hard, seeing you like this. Realizing what you are now…"_

_I cut in, harshly. "I didn't choose this, Jacob!" Softening my voice, I continued, "I came to Forks a few weeks ago, and I had no idea about any of this. You didn't know how my life was before I came, but it wasn't good." Was that an understatement or what? "I was depressed Jacob, and scared. And so I made a reckless decision. I chose to end my life."_

_He sucked in air, surprised. "You committed suicide?"_

_I nodded mutely. "I don't think you would understand if I told you, even now. It's complicated. But it was an almost spur-of-the-moment decision. I didn't think I could take it anymore, and I didn't see another way out._

"_The Cullens found me, bleeding to death. Carlisle and Edward knew they couldn't save me, so they did the only other thing."_

"_They changed you," Jacob filled in, his voice flat._

"_Yes," I whispered. "I thought I was dead, or I was in hell. Then I woke up, and I realized…"_

_There was deep silence for a moment. "I wouldn't take it back, Jacob, even if I could. I got a second chance. It didn't come to me in the way I might have expected, but it came at all. Not many are as fortunate."_

_Jacob scrutinized my face, his hands gripping the flashlight tightly. "I didn't choose to be what I am, either. It runs in my family, I had these genes on both sides, I never stood a chance."_

"_Are you sorry?"_

_He lifted his shoulders. "Sometimes. Actually, most of the time. I wish I could go back to the time when I had no idea about vampires and werewolves, and leave it like that. But other times, I wouldn't want to. It's complicated." I knew what he meant._

_We sat in silence, looking at each other. Vampire and werewolf, enemy versus enemy. _

"_I feel bad, for doing what we have; especially after all you've gone through. I don't like the Cullens, but I guess I understand. And they could get killed by what they're doing, trying to save you. It made me realize. Even though they're leeches-" He paused, amending, "vampires, they care enough to risk death to save you. That's all that should really matter."_

_His words held a depth of understanding and truth that belonged to someone much older. I smiled at him, and he smiled tentatively back. "So I'm going to let you out. Get the Cullens, don't ever come back."_

_I stared at him for a moment, shocked. "Won't Sam be mad at you?"_

_He grimaced. "Yes. But he didn't tell me not to help you," a slow smile crept across his face. "I guess he didn't think he would have to."_

_He moved towards the door, opening it slowly, wincing as it creaked. "And so the werewolf helped the vampire escape," he mused out loud._

_I looked up at him. "No. The boy helped the girl save her family." I amended his statement softly._

"_You're okay, for a vampire."_

"_And you're okay, for a werewolf."_

_We both smiled, sharing a brief moment in which we were not mythological creatures that were natural enemies. We were simply two teenagers, sharing a joke._

_And then the moment was gone. _

_He craned his neck, glancing around the terrain for the rest of his pack. "Okay, it's clear. Remember, don't come back."_

_I smiled at him, a little sadly. He had been able to see beyond his prejudice to help someone in need. And I would probably never see him again._

"_I won't forget," I promised him, smiling with melancholy._

_His tone and expression mirrored my own. "Neither will I."_

_I turned to go, taking one last look at the boy who was my enemy, the boy who had ended up saving me, even at his own risk. I could have been really good friends with him, under any other circumstances._

Your father and mine have always been old friends…_ His voice echoed back to me, bringing on a surge of guilt and depression. _

"_Take care of Charlie, will you?" I asked, my eyes pleading. "He didn't deserve to lose his daughter."_

_He nodded mutely, biting his lip. "You didn't deserve to lose your father."_

_I looked at him gratefully. Impulsively, I reached out and hugged him softly, grateful beyond words. He seemed stunned for a moment, before hugging me back._

"_You should go now."_

_I pulled away, turning again. "Take care, Bella."_

"_Be safe, Jake," I stole one last glance at him, his bronzed skin defined against the nondescript background. _

_Then I looked forward, letting myself run away from the boy I would never see again._

I smiled at the thought of him, feeling bittersweet.

Running through the forest, I strained to pick up a scent of my family, determined to stop them before it was too late.

After a while, I caught a faint scent I recognized as that belonging to a vampire. It smelled faintly off, not quite familiar. But perhaps that was because of the fact it was probably old. Following it, I realized I was doubling back in the direction of Forks and La Push.

The aroma grew stronger as I went, and my anxiousness increased exponentially. I only hoped I wouldn't be too late.

At long last, the scent was strong enough that I knew they were very near. Running out of the forest, I skidded to an abrupt halt, cursing myself.

There were two of them, and they were most definitely not one of the Cullens. I backpedaled slightly, still unused to my speed and grace; almost managing to fall flat on my face.

When I regained my composure, they were very near to me, towering above my head. Their eyes were burgundy. Blood drinkers.

"Well, I guess it's just our lucky day, isn't it? More than four vampires in a day, we've met." One smirked unpleasantly.

They both drew closer, and it took all my self-control not to back up and bolt. "You wouldn't have happened to have met us earlier, would have you? I think we had a misunderstanding."

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**(Sighs) I'm sorry to say that I'm quite depressed at the moment. I have to go to school registration soon, meaning school itself will be starting shortly; one of you evil people managed to guess the correct language (It was Yiddish), and a close friend I've known for **_**seven years**_** is moving away in less than a week. Also fanfiction is screwing up again, and all my stats and documents are messed up. (Sighs again). And it's turning out to be one of those days you just feel down for no particular reason. Oh, well….**

**Some of you may hate me for having Jacob help Bella like that, and some of you may love me. Either way, the next chapter should be soon. But not tomorrow. Tomorrow's the last time I'll get to see my best friend who is moving to an entirely different **_**country.**_

**Well, I didn't feel like looking up a language. I'm doing another psyche question instead.**

**You walk into a classroom, and the teacher tells you that you may sit anywhere. Which one of these four places would you choose? (Right and left are relative to if you were standing in the class, looking towards the front of it.)**

**At the front, left hand corner. **

**At the back, left hand corner.**

**At the front, right hand corner.**

**At the back, right hand corner.**

**Note: None of your friends are there, don't go an answer "I would sit wherever my friends are.) or (Anywhere there is someone I like) or (Anyplace but where there is someone I don't like.) You are alone. And don't take that in a creepy way. **

_**Hope you're having a better day than I.**_

_**Lon-Dubh**_


	23. Chapter 23: Of Course I Will

Bella's POV:

They were going to rip me to shreds. And for the first time since my human life and the vague memories I had of it, I was afraid. I hadn't felt this cold, icy fear when I was going through my transformation. Not when I was thinking about faking my own death. Not even when I had been captured by the werewolves.

Because on those, there had always been a light at the end of the tunnel. There had always been a hope, even if it was vague, that something would change. There had always been a furtive even fleeting dream that I would emerge on the other side, and I would be in the sunlight.

Now, I was here. I could see no fading light at the end of the dark passageway. No hope that somehow this could end differently. No hope that this could end in anyway but one. There wasn't a glimmer at the end of this tunnel. It was just a dead-end.

It was two against one. Two powerful, experienced, skilled vampires versus one newborn who had no idea what she was doing. There was no question about the outcome, no question about how this would end.

I knew. And I realized that I was scared.

I had condemned myself to death. But now, in this half-life, I had more chances than before. I had the dream that things would turn out differently. I had something to exist for. And I realized that I didn't want it to be ripped away.

I was the ultimate irony, really. The Cullens risked their lives to save me, then I go and run into the very vampires that they had robbed, who were now accusing me of their crime. Inadvertently, I was. But indirectly. Jake had risked the wrath of the pack, with the sole intention for doing what he had thought was good, was right. And it had ended up putting me in more danger than before. So very, very ironic.

They were closing in on me, their intentions painfully clear. The little chance they had given me to explain was lost on them. They didn't believe me. But I hadn't expected that they would.

"You like attacking us, robbing us? Let's see how you like it. We'll have to ask you, but, we might get carried away. That would be such a shame, really. But, we can't be held responsible for our actions under circumstances like these," Demetri's smooth voice was laced with malice as he almost casually stepped towards me. Felix slowly began walking onto my side, intentionally surrounding me.

I didn't talk. I didn't say a single word after I had tried making up a story and justifying myself. I knew it was useless. They would only be amused. And I wouldn't give them that degree of satisfaction.

The sky shuddered ominously, declaring its discontent through the loud rolls of thunder. A jagged streak of lightning flashed across the sky, momentarily illuminating my enemy's features. Icy drops of moisture started to fall, slowly but promising to pick up. Felix and Demetri entirely ignored the weather. Their only focus was me, and my impending demise.

I backed up warily as they both shifted into a crouch, leaning forward with their glistening teeth barred. Their dark hair shone with drops of rain that clung, falling with their smooth movements.

Thunder rolled, shaking.

I backed up, not daring to look away from their vicious faces to search for an escape route. They could likely outrun me anyhow.

I only had a split second to react as Felix launched himself at me, aiming for my throat. Dropping onto the damp, muddy ground, I rolled over struggling to right myself. Demetri took his opportunity with my distraction, his strong hands seizing me and flinging me roughly against a tree. I both heard and felt the bark of the trunk shatter under my momentum, the tree groaning as it bent sideways. The branches above me rustled, showering me with twigs and moisture that had accumulated on the leaves.

Wincing with pain and disorientation I stumbled up, frantically searching for my assailant through the steadily increasing downpour.

Lighting streaked, crackling.

I shook the droplets of rain out of my eyes, breathing heavily. I heard one of them leap at me again from behind. This time I managed to move slightly swifter, pivoting to the side. Felix's teeth grazed my shoulder as his momentum carried him forward. He landed nimbly, lithely turning back towards me.

My shoulder seared with pain and my back felt like it had hundreds of splinters stuck in it. Which maybe it did. I had no chance against them, and they could probably outrun me. I was quickly running out of options that were scarce to begin with.

Seeing no other alternative, I launched myself at Felix, barreling into his granite chest. He didn't attempt to dodge, probably surprised by my sudden onslaught. I didn't do much damage before Demetri grabbed me from behind around my waist, ripping me away from his partner.

The rain came down in harder, icy sheets.

Dark hair plastered to my face as I felt myself being launched airborne again. My body slammed into the ground, covering me with a thick coat of mud and showering anything in the close vicinity. He didn't give me a chance to right myself this time before he began attacking. I gasped in pain as he seized my head, slamming it into the ground. Struggling weakly, I feebly attempted to fight back, my resistance having no effect.

His face was so close to mine now. I could see with intimate detail the features of his face, twisted into a sneer. His hair was dripping with water too, his clothes muddied.

I was going to die.

I didn't want him to be the last thing I ever saw.

I turned my gaze back to the sky, not flinching as rain poured over my face. It felt pure, cleansing somehow. Lighting ripped through the iron sky again, for a brief moment illuminating my vision with its wild brilliance. I couldn't help but smile a little. Even through all this pain, the moment was beautiful in a way that could not be put into words.

Last time I had chosen to take on death, to run to it head on. This time, I chose to simply accept death and all its mysteries. Simply accept it, let it fold me slowly into its embrace.

It was so close now.

Abruptly I heard other sounds, yells and snarls. Demetri's face disappeared from my view, and I felt his weight disappear from my body. Looking up through clouded vision, I saw shady figures battling.

Emmett.

I had never been so glad to see his bulging figure before. I caught a brief glimpse of Alice, Jasper, Esme and Carlisle. But no Rosalie.

Edward.

He was here. Snarling hatefully at Felix, measuring him. Both shifted into a crouch as I watched, indescribably relieved and horrorstruck. Near them, Demetri feinted to the side, evading Emmett's lethal hands. His eyes seemed to burn with a strange hatred as he saw his chance. Edward's back was to him, briefly unprotected. I sneer crossed his face and in an instant he was airborne, leaping at the man I loved.

I heard Alice's voice as if from a great distance away, shrieking for Edward to turn. His family was moving towards him, but they would be too late.

I felt my tired muscles bunch under me as I leapt into the air, screaming Edward's name. He turned his god-like face in my direction. His skin was pale and rain clung to his bronze hair, cascading down his smooth face in rivulets. His eyes met mine for the briefest instant as lightning crashed across the horizon, highlighting his distinct features.

Then Demetri collided with him.

I screamed, leaping for him. Edward's mouth opened in a silent cry of surprise as Demetri's teeth tore into his exposed chest. He fell to the ground his gaze still on mine, boring into me.

Shrieking, I vaguely saw Carlisle and Jasper seize Felix behind Edward, both looking at Edward in undisguised horror.

I finally met with Demetri, ramming into him with all my might. He flew sideways, where Emmett and Alice promptly detained him, wrestling him to the ground. But I didn't care. All I cared about was Edward.

His soaking shirt was torn open, revealing a long deep gash across his perfect chest, running from his shoulder to his navel. It sluggishly leaked droplets of blood he had recently drunk as well as clear venom. His head was faced upwards, staring into the storm-tossed sky. I could only hope he was not having similar thoughts as I had, doing the exact same thing a few minutes earlier.

"Carlisle," I shrieked through the rain. "Help!" I gently grabbed Edward's hand, and he reflexively twitched at the touch of my skin. "Edward, please! Look at me!"

I moved myself to see his face, his perfect features distorted in agony. "Edward!"

His face smoothed slightly, a crooked smile curling at the corners of his flawless lips. "Bella."

Distractedly I noticed Carlisle at my side, carefully inspecting Edwards wound.

"It's serious, and a lot deeper than it looks." I squeezed Edward's hand as Carlisle spoke, carefully probing his injury. Edward flinched as he worked, not looking away from my face.

"Edward. You'll be all right," but I said it just as much to reassure myself as him. "You'll be all right."

He smiled again, his beautiful eyes never breaking our timeless gaze. "Of course I will." His voice was rough with pain, but regardless, he reached out his hand to gently brush along the side of my face. "Of course I will. You're here."

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**Ohhh, how sweet. But this isn't the last chapter; there are still one to three more to come, I'm not entirely certain. I will be updating with another chapter tomorrow, because I'm going to visit my grandparents until Monday.**

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, I really appreciated it, especially with the day I had yesterday. Yes, I said goodbye to my friend, after making her promise the first thing she does when she gets to her new home will be to hook up her computer, because it's just not plausible to be calling Copenhagen, Denmark from The-Middle-Of-No-Where, Colorado. E-mail is really our only feasible option. **

**Anyways….**

**Here's the significance of my last psyche question.**

**If you answered honestly, disregarding the location of doors, windows, and your personal eyesight, this is a rough comparative statement about people who chose which place.**

**The front hand, left corner:**** You people are the ones who pay attention in class. You aren't necessarily teacher's pets or psychos about school, but in general you aren't the disruptive kind; and you are more prone to answer the teacher's questions than others.**

**The back, left hand corner:**** You people are those who pay attention but are also silently questioning the teacher and what he/she says. You are more prone not to answer the teacher's questions, and though you may mess around occasionally, in general you keep your opinions about substandard teaching and homework to yourself.**

**The front, right hand corner:**** You people are those who, in general, are prone to be class clowns, or those who split their time between paying attention and not. You like to break up the monotony of the classroom, and whether you decide to steal the spotlight for yourself, or aid and abet other parties doing that, you are very amused by untoward events and accidents bound to happen in school.**

**The back, right hand corner:**** You people are those, who in general, are more of the rebels. You dislike answering questions, and though you may pay attention, you are the most likely to not be following the rules of the classroom. You don't meet many teachers you like, and if you do, you're not going to say it. You aren't the junior delinquents, but let's just say you're not the type to become a teacher's pet. **

**How did weird scientists and psychologists come up with that? No idea, you'd have to ask them yourself. Some of you have asked for the name of the book I am getting these from, so here it is. It's called ****Knowing the Mind****, by J. Morrison. **

**I was on the internet the other day, and took an official psyche test. The results I got were freakily accurate. Almost scarily. THE COMPUTER IS READING YOUR MIND!!!!**

**Anyways, it only takes a few minutes, and I put a link to it on my profile if you would like to take it. **

**Tell me if it was as accurate for you as it was for me. Again: THE COMPUTER IS READING YOUR MIND!!!!! And also, don't forget to _review_. Because reviews are nice, and they probably increase the mental climate/capability and creativity of your mind or something like that. **


	24. Chapter 24: Equations

**Last chapter was fun to write. I got death threats from a few people. One person, who shall remain anonymous, threatened to track down my friend in **_**Denmark**_** and murder her if I killed Edward. I haven't gotten this much coercion since I pretended to kill Bella back in chapter 14. (Snickers) Enjoy the chapter!**

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Bella's POV:

_Of course I am. You're here._

Even in the soaking, icy rain, kneeling in the mud in the middle of an uncharted forest with vampires who had just attacked me still present, I couldn't help the euphoric feeling that rose inside of me.

_Of course I am. You're here…_

M head snapped up abruptly when I heard Felix growl savagely. "Unhand us!"

I glanced instinctively at Carlisle, searching for his reaction. He was silent for a moment, smoothly pulling of his jacket and laying it neatly over Edward's wound. Slowly, he stood up to face Felix.

"We have done nothing to you. And yet you unprovoked, attacked a member of our coven, then demand release?"

Demetri glared balefully at Carlisle, but remained silent. Felix, on the other hand, did not. "You did nothing to us? You attacked us earlier! You robbed us!"

Carlisle's cool demeanor of indifference remained unfazed by the storm raging around us and Felix's accusation. He raised one eyebrow slightly in skepticism, addressing both Felix and Demetri. "And what proof are you basing this off of? You do not recognize any of us, neither does any of my family have possessions that are not theirs."

"Liar!" Felix snarled, his face twisted in hate. Emmett growled, glowering ominously at him, seemingly oblivious to the fact that his shirt was torn and mud was smeared across his face. "Do you have any idea who we are?"

There was a brief silence, the only sound that was heard was the dark rumbling of thunder. "On the contrary, I know precisely who you are. Give Aro my regards when you next see him, will you?"

Felix gaped, thunderstruck at Carlisle's casual announcement of knowing they belonged to the Volturi, furthermore claiming to know their leader. Demetri was the only one who managed to keep his composure, struggling to seem imposing despite his hair slicked in front of his eyes and his clothes that had quite obviously seen better days. "Then you know how… _unwise_ it would be to get yourself involved. Disposing of us would not be in your best interest."

Carlisle feigned mild surprise, raising both eyebrows. "Of course we will not dispose of you. It is a ludicrous thing to suggest, my family would not stoop to those measures. You must understand though-" he paused for effect, "that it will be in _your _best interests to leave this area immediately."

Both of them looked stunned at his casual announcement, expecting more of a struggle. "Emmett, Jasper, please release them. I'm sure they will not cause any more trouble." Carlisle allowed a slight intonation of menace to enter his statement this time, though his gaze was still impassive.

Jasper mutely released Felix as Emmett, grumbling, pulled away from Demetri. Both of them glared warily at us, Demetri's eyes momentarily flickering with satisfaction to Edward's still form, lying in the mire. I couldn't stop a faint growl from escaping my lips as I saw this, rage slowly building in the center of my chest. Demetri's eyes met mine for a moment, neither of us concealing our abhorrence.

"It would be best if you left immediately." Carlisle's shrewd eyes picked up our virtually silent conflict. "We don't want any more…accidents."

Demetri smirked ever so slightly, casually swiping away the mud plastered to his face. My lips curled back over my teeth in a snarl, and I took an involuntary step towards him. I turned to see Jasper lay a calming hand on my shoulder, restraining me as he sent out waves of serenity.

I reluctantly felt my anger and urge to rip Demetri to shreds fade away. "Stupid, arrogant empath," I muttered under my breath, loud enough for Jasper to hear. He chuckled almost inaudibly, removing his restraining hand.

Felix turned away, not sparing us a second glance as he disappeared among the sodden trees. Reluctantly, Demetri turned to follow.

"Don't forget to Aro my regards," Carlisle reminded him, a hint of amusement in his tone. Demetri forced a deeply unpleasant smile, giving me one last hate filled glance before following his companion into the advancing gloom.

I sighed in relief as he left, immediately returning to Edward's side. "Is he okay?" My voice was anxious as I carefully studied the tortured expression on Edward's face.

Emmett chuckled slightly from across the clearing, heading towards us. I looked at him, appalled. Alice and Carlisle joined into Emmett's' amusement at my dismayed expression. "Vampires are not so easy to kill, Bella," Carlisle finally explained, kneeling down beside me. "An abrasion like this may be serious, but it isn't life threatening. Edward will make a full recovery."

I looked at their amused faces for a moment, thunderstruck. My shock soon turned into annoyance. "Why didn't you just tell me that to begin with," my voice was laced with irritation.

"It's so much more fun to see you squirm." I shot daggers at Emmett, still disgusted at his blatant enjoyment.

"I am still here you know, and as Carlisle so prudently pointed out, _not_ dead, so you can stop talking about me as if I'm not here." Edward's voice was every bit as irritated as mine.

I shot a glance at him, and he met my eyes instantly. I soft smile played across his lips, and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Can we have this touching moment somewhere that doesn't involve sitting in the mud?" A new voice asked acerbically.

"Rose!" Emmett shouted, running over to her where she had just emerged from the trees. A sudden understanding hit me. _Of course, Felix and Demetri saw Rosalie, so she had to hide or else give herself away. _

"Don't you dare touch me, Emmett Cullen!" She exclaimed loudly, backing away from him. "You're covered in mud, and I really like this shirt." An involuntary smile came to my lips at Emmett's forlorn expression. Rosalie's gaze met my own for a moment. There was no hostility in her eyes, and a timid smile came to her lips. My face was blank with shock for a moment before I answered her with a shy smile of my own.

_Why does she suddenly like me?_

"I agree. This is just gross, let's go home," Alice piped in, attempting to comb the mud out of her short dark hair.

"How long do we have?" My question was met with blank stares. "Before we have to leave, I mean." I added hastily.

"Oh, well, just a day or so. Our belongings are packed, and the Quileutes wouldn't be terribly happy with us if we took too long." Alice's tone was light, making no big deal of the fact that we were being forced out of town.

"I thought we agreed not to discuss this in the rain? I'm going home." Rosalie rolled her eyes, turning back towards Forks. Emmett grinned, following closely behind her.

I glanced down at Edward, still lying in the mud. He looked like a god even now. Carlisle caught my glance. "He'll need to rest for a day, but we heal extraordinarily quickly. I'll carry him, he shouldn't be running yet."

I couldn't stop a smirk escaping from my lips as I thought of Carlisle carrying Edward. Alice and Jasper snickered from behind, both just as amused as I was. Edward growled, no doubt picking up what they were thinking.

"Come on Bella, let's go." I nodded at Alice's statement, following behind her as I didn't exactly know how to get back from here.

I didn't take long to get back. We all entered the house, completely ignoring the rain and mud that we were tracking across the floor. Esme would throw a fit, I knew. But we couldn't ever come back; so it really didn't matter.

The fact that I would be leaving, and I would never be able to return turned my mood dark. I slowly made my way to my room. Cleaning up was my first priority, the boiling water that would have burned me only barely warmed my skin. And it didn't reach the coldness I felt inside.

I fell onto my bed, jumping in surprise as my back contacted with a hard object. Quickly turning, I saw an old photo album that Alice had "liberated" from my old house.

With shaking hands, I opened the cover. It crackled slightly, protesting from the lack of use. I almost felt a burning sensation in my eyes, as if I could cry, as I gazed down at the old photos.

There was me as a baby, Charlie and Renne gathered around me. Then me, a child, blowing out a birthday cake. Me and Charlie in front of a lake, him clutching a fishing pole and my face twisted slightly in disgust. A picture of me before my thirteenth birthday, Charlie standing behind me as I beamed happily into the camera. School pictures, old scraps and negatives.

It was my life, all recorded through images, neatly bound in a book.

But it was almost as if it was another life, a different one. I snapped shut the album, rolling onto my back and staring intensely at the stark ceiling.

It seemed allot those things, all those memories, had happened to someone else. But in a way, I also felt connected with them.

I had lost a lot. A mother, a father. A human life, blissfully unaware of the darker more sinister truths.

But I had gained a second chance. Another family, another life. Maybe a boy who loved me.

Losses and gains. Plus and minus. I suppose only time will tell if the two equations balance each other out. If what I gained was worth what I lost.

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**I'm thinking I only have one more chapter to go. I would like to close up this story before Eclipse comes out, because I know I and everyone else will be more interested in the real thing than drabbles by an amateur author. I'm also thinking about writing a sequel, based on some reviews people gave me, asking me to. My parents are practically walking out the door as I speak, so I don't have enough time to post a psyche question or a language. Tell me what you think about the sequel. And I'll see you all Monday, make sure to read the end of the story before Eclipse comes out! **


	25. Chapter 25: Forever Seventeen

**I got back from my grandparents, and I was so happy because I broke **_**1000**_** reviews! I love you guys! And please, EVERYONE review on this last chapter so I can know what you thought of the entire thing. I will post whether I'm making a sequel in about a week, after ****Eclipse**** comes out and if I get an idea for it.**

**I am very happy with this chapter, I think it leaves you with the perfect…. How do I describe it? **_**Feeling.**_** Anyways, please enjoy the very last chapter of my beloved story, ****Scared.**

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Bella's POV:

Fog hung in a thick, omnipresent curtain as I gazed outside the window. Even the shadows of the towering trees seemed to be swallowed in the mist. The whole world was a mass of gently swirling, pearly grey.

I sighed, turning back towards my room. The furniture stood just as it always had, now oddly muted and foreboding with white sheets draped over them. There were no personal items or apparel to be found, no traces of any presence. The room could have belonged to anyone.

_And it feels like it does._ I still didn't understand exactly who I was anymore.

I let myself fall onto the covered bed, idly fingering the edges of my photo album. Seeing the pictures had brought on a potent mix of emotions. Happiness, reminiscence; but also depression and guilt. Jasper yelled at me more than once that I was giving him migraines.

_I've left so much undone. So many loose ends that will never be tied._

At the moment, I couldn't bring myself to open the worn book again. It would be once again opening the floodgates to a past I half wanted to forget, and half wanted to remember for forever.

A soft knock on the door brought me out of my reverie. "Come in," I called, not bothering to raise my voice above that of one I would use for a normal conversation. The polished double doors swung inwards with a barely audible creak of protest, admitting the person outside.

Edward.

He had healed very quickly, naturally. His unreal perfection, his godlike appearance held no evidence that he had been nearly disemboweled less than a few short days ago.

"It's time to leave," he said, his butterscotch eyes boring into my own. I nodded mutely, slowly standing. I stepped towards the door, mentally questioning whether I was sad or thankful to finally be leaving.

Perhaps it was a mixture of both.

Abruptly I turned, realizing I had forgotten the album. I reached back to grab its faintly embossed cover but hesitated. A sob rose in my throat, and I was unable to block it from escaping my lips.

I felt Edward by my side in an instant, hesitantly laying a gentle hand on my shoulder. I turned to face him, my expression twisted in an internal agony. His gaze was briefly questioning as he looked at me, quickly clearing when he caught sight of the album resting innocently on the bed behind me.

"Bella," his voice was comforting yet cautious, smooth and cultured as velvet. "I know, maybe more than you, how it feels to remember the past. How there may be happiness, love even; but there's also guilt." I stared at the plush carpet, unwilling to meet his beautiful, understanding gaze.

"I'm rather fatalistic by nature, my family has even gone so far as to call me masochistic," here he shifted, chuckling darkly. "But that has taught me even more to let go of things." He reached out, gently lifting my chin to study my face, his eyes enigmatic. Edward's gaze met mine with a peculiar intensity, both of us scrutinizing the other.

"Some things you can't let go of."

"No, some things you can't," he replied slowly. "Some things you shouldn't. But you have to live in the present, not continually dwell in the past. I should know, I've done enough of the latter. Things change, that's the nature of life. People change."

I stared at him, my gaze torn, vaguely depressed but also comforted by his words. _People change…_ "So you've said before."

He looked fully at me, his eyes soft. "Not all change is bad." We stared at each other for another timeless moment, each intent only on the other's face. Then, slowly, he bent towards me his icy lips hesitantly touching my own. I stood absolutely still for an instant, shocked. Then, just as cautiously, I slipped my arms over his shoulders, gently entwining my fingers in his untidy hair.

It was amazing. I've heard the expression, "words can't describe" but never fully comprehended its depth. Nothing could describe this moment. It was both so magically translucent it should be a dream, but also more real than anything I have ever experienced. It felt like I was drifting in another reality where nothing else existed. But I was also acutely aware of the texture of Edward's hair under my fingers, his strong hands that slipped over my waist gently pulling me closer, and his lips chilled and smooth as ice, gently pressing against my own.

Slowly he pulled away, his gaze meeting mine again seeking approval. I stared back into his intent, enigmatic gaze, a slow smile pulling across my lips. His whole face seemed to be illuminated when he grinned crookedly back, rendering him even more beautiful than before.

Edward pulled me into his arms again, tenderly resting his head on mine as I leaned against his solid chest. He ran his hands softly up and down my back, neither of us speaking. Finally I broke the peaceful silence, my voice muffled by his shirt.

"Not all change is bad," I repeated softly. He chuckled in reply, lightly tracing his fingers down my spine.

"It has been so… hectic," he began, his tone indicating he didn't know exactly what to say. "I've been meaning to talk to you, I wanted to so badly. And then the wolves… I was horrified Bella. I realized once you were gone that I cared more than I imagined."

We were both quiet for a while, simply reveling in the feel of the other person in their arms. I shifted my head, deeply breathing in Edward's sweetly intoxicating scent.

"I barely know you really," I began. He stiffened slightly, unsure of what I was going to say. "But I think I love you."

He relaxed, pressing his lips against my neck. I gasped, leaning my head back. "I _know_ I love you." His breath was sweet, softly brushing against my neck.

"I know I love you too."

We just stood then, not saying anything. But words weren't necessary. And we could have remained like that forever, but reality came back to us, rather rudely.

"Edward, Bella, let's go!" Emmett yelled, unnecessarily, from down the stairs. Edward pulled away, rolling his eyes. His gaze met mine and he smiled good naturedly, grabbing my hand and pulling me out the door. I managed to grab the album as he pulled me away, not yet willing to leave it behind.

We walked down the stairs together where the rest of the family was gathering. Emmett looked impatient, "Saying goodbye to your room Edward? We can ship the couch with us if you're really _that _attached…."

Edward growled, but it was still hinted with a touch of happiness. Alice laughed excitedly, bouncing up and down. She ran gracefully up to me, seizing me into an enthusiastic hug. "I'm so happy for you Bella!"

When she finally released me, I saw Jasper smiling too, no doubt already sensing what had happened between Edward and I.

"Let's go, shall we?" Edward sounded irritated, and moved out the door. His back was turned, but I didn't miss the satisfied looks that passed between Carlisle and Esme. I smiled, following him out the door.

-----------------------------------------

We were cruising quickly out of town in Edward's silver Volvo. He drove, barely glancing at the road, gently holding my hand.

We were almost out of town limits when I noticed the faded white spire of the Forks Church. People were gathered in the parking lot, clad in black and pulling away in their cars. I briefly wondered what was happening when comprehension dawned on me.

"Edward, stop the car," I said softly.

He looked back at me, knowing what was happening just as well as I. "Bella, maybe you shouldn't…"

"Edward, stop the car!" I repeated, this time with much more force. He gave me a resigned look and pulled into the lot, smoothly parking the car.

"At least wait for a moment, Bella. You can't be recognized, and you haven't fed in a while."

"Fine," I sighed reluctantly, sitting ramrod straight in the seat. After a few more minutes, the cars and people had cleared away. I yanked open the door of the car, running out into the swirling mist.

It was all I could do to force myself to run at human pace. I looked around frantically, making out shadowy shapes through the curtain of grey.

A dark outline loomed out of the darkness, and I shrunk back into the concealing mist.

Charlie.

He was dressed in a suit that I had never seen before, his hair combed neatly and his face frozen into a mask of shock and grief. I was so preoccupied with an intense feeling of guilt that I didn't even remember my thirst.

What had I done to him?

He had virtually nothing left. No wife, no family, and now no daughter.

And then he was gone, his figure retreating back to the parking lot.

_I wish I could cry. _

I ran again, this time unable to restrain myself.

Then I found what I had searched for.

My grave.

_Isabella Marie Swan_

_Beloved friend and daughter._

_Forever Seventeen._

A sob rose in my throat, and I felt Edward's arms slip around my waist.

So many memories. So many things I had done and would never do. I had almost killed Charlie, he was far more alone than I.

"What have I done? Charlie, what have I done to him?" I sobbed, leaning into Edward's cold strength.

"You didn't choose to do this, Bella. It happened. At least he still has Jacob."

_At least he still has Jacob…_

The thought barely eased my guilt.

I stared down at the red roses that lay at the bottom of the cold stone, the green and red leaves contrasting sharply with the epitaph.

I just stood, Edward's arms wrapped around me comfortingly.

So many memories…

I thought of what Edward had said earlier. I couldn't live in the past. There were some things I wouldn't be able to let go of. Some things that maybe I shouldn't. But I couldn't dwell in those things.

It was heart wrenching, seeing my grave. Seeing my past, that seemed to bleed like the crimson roses that rested on the damp ground. But in some vague sense, it gave me the closure I had needed.

I was standing at my grave.

Maybe I should have looked like it that I had died. At least, died to my other life. I had changed so much, I wasn't really the same Bella Swan I had been.

Perhaps this was for the best. That I had seen this.

It was almost like I had buried my past.

I would eventually forget my human past. Already the memories were fading. But they weren't gone, and they never would be.

But maybe, those memories belonged here. In Forks. In this place had so briefly known, but where my life had changed.

I broke away from Edward's grasp, slowly sinking onto the ground. Mist clung to my hair in chilling droplets, soaking through my clothes.

I reached out, tracing the letters engraved onto the stone.

_Forever Seventeen_. In a way, it was right. I was forever seventeen.

In a way, I was even dead.

I'm dead to my past.

I had always been so afraid. If what had happened taught me anything, it was that you couldn't live your life in fear. You had to look towards the future, and not be scared.

_These are where the memories lay. Perhaps it would be best if they stay here._

Slowly, I got up, taking the hand Edward offered me. I looked into his eyes, deep with understanding. A sad smile flickered across his pale face as he stared, turning back.

"Let's go, Bella."

_The memories should stay here. I will never forget, but I will not live in them._

I had to let go.

"Let's go." I replied softly.

He smiled again, pulling me towards the parking lot.

I looked back, gazing through the fog. The gloom made the stones into shadows, silhouetted through the murk. Before I turned back towards Edward, back to my new life, I caught one last glance.

A glimpse of crimson petals.

And then they were lost into the mist.


End file.
